Courtesy of Nganguyen
I’m a retreat-creating permission-to-be yourself whirly-gig girl these days.
The holy gap that is a retreat is where I’m living much of the time these days.
It feels like the world is revealing itself to me, at the same time, it is holding its breath.
This state is ticklishly delightful and prickly painful.
It’s like living inside a Mary Oliver poem.
It’s also about grounding and living within a whole heck of a lot of life. Or as Jill said yesterday at the retreat, “I’m almost afraid of the intensity of this much joy, this much life.” (Jill, I hope I got your words roughly right).
I watch the faces of the amazing women who show up at my events as they walk in: some tired, some sad, some weighed down, some bright and curious, some guarded (“What is this retreat thing we will be doing?”) — and my heart sighs with happiness… because I know they will leave looking so much lighter, more open, younger as in young in spirit.
I will watch their faces unfold and unfurl back to the shape of who they really are.
What is prickly painful, then?
It hurts to be so open. I know, I know, I can acknowledge the pain and let it be there (like I told all the women at my retreat Saturday!) and sometimes, I don’t want to.
It’s also painful because I always have far more material than time and something invariably gets left out and that niggles me.
This used to torture me and make me want to never speak or teach again. So moving from torture to niggling is good progress, me thinks.
But still, there is so much more to share and do together, so much life to share.
So this Monday, I am resting in the life force, bowing my head to it, in wonderment that life is this available to us, to me. That yes, we are allowed to be here, to be this astonished.
I will ground my energy, slowly resume my practices, and let myself move a bit slower this week.
What about you? How will you choose life and find the good this week?
If you would like to join me on this journey, check my Workshops and Retreats to see when I may be coming near you!
Related posts:
15 responses so far ↓
1 Hiro Boga Mar 1, 2010
These past few weeks, I’ve had to shorten my stride. Literally, as my hip, which had recovered nicely from surgery last year, is once again overburdened and wobbling as it struggles to hold my body upright.
Thank you, hip, for being hip to what I need right now.
So this week I’m slowing down. Staying close to the ground, close to home. Moving mindfully, turtle-like, one small step at a time.
Paying attention to what supports me. To what depletes me.
Loving what is. My body. My bed. Books. Food. The sweetness of repose. Spring’s aeration.
Knowing this simplicity is enough.
2 Cairene Mar 1, 2010
I choose to find the good this week by not trying so hard to make the good happen. It’s a bit scary to be open to possibility (opening can hurt, as you point out). But then again there isn’t room for much of anything beautiful within the narrow focus and tight grasp of control. So here goes…
love to you in your resting and grounding this week, -Cairene
3 Sonia Mar 1, 2010
I am still processing from your retreat on Saturday … and will for a long time. What an amazing day. Thank you, Jennifer, for creating a space for so much good to come to us. And now when I need new tools for grounding and centering, I have some laughter yoga techniques, some getting-in-my-body grounding skills and I still carry all the good feminine energy that surrounded us in the room at Richland Center, Wis. What a gift. And I can always come to your Website and re-read things in your books on my shelf too. Thank you so much. Sonia
4 Karen Hodges Mar 1, 2010
Yum, your idea of life being like living inside a Mary Oliver poem sounds juicy and inviting. What could be better?
5 Jennifer Mar 1, 2010
Thanks Sonia, I’m so grateful the retreat was nourishing for you. Hiro, may your hip and mine both get some loving this week and Cariene, may you find lots of wide open beauty!
Karen, what could be better? A very good question.
6 Giulietta the Muse Mar 1, 2010
Hi Jennifer,
Flew over from Twitter!
I see every day as an adventure to learn something new and to meet someone new.
I choose this week to exercise my powerful voice at some town meetings and at karaoke!
Enjoy your marvelous week.
Giulietta, Inspirational Rebel
7 Liz Mar 1, 2010
Having just returned from a week’s retreat myself, I’m right there with you, Jen. Shifting from the rhythm of retreat back to the rhythm of daily life is definitely a transition, but I’m so full from what I’ve taken in during the days of retreat that I’m full of energy and enthusiasm for the new, and also a deep gratitude for the details of my daily life.
8 Megan Mar 1, 2010
“I will ground my energy, slowly resume my practices, and let myself move a bit slower this week.
What about you? How will you choose life and find the good this week?”
9 Megan Mar 1, 2010
“I will ground my energy, slowly resume my practices, and let myself move a bit slower this week.
What about you? How will you choose life and find the good this week”
I’m with you; I will do it slowly and with a dash of grace added in. (I’m just trying to work my way into a new schedule – something that always takes patience and grace…)
Yours,
Megan
10 Kim Mindham Mar 1, 2010
I will never forget the weekend you spent with us in Wisconsin, Jennifer. You were so generous with your time and your compassion and wisdom. I have taken with me the knowledge that I can check in with myself any time I need to and ground myself to be more present and more true. I appreciate all the good stuff you sent us off with. I’ll be learning from this retreat for a long, long time. Thank you so much!
Kim Mindham
11 Chris Mar 1, 2010
“It’s by far one of the best thing I’ve ever done for myself” was what I told my husband as I drove away from Richland Center, WI. And it still felt like an understatement. Jen, you are truly a brilliant and wonderful facilitator, speaker, guide, and connector. Such amazing women all with different reasons for being there… how could that many women ALL be so wise? I left feeling so alive. A beautiful hour drive back to my children where I continued to be fully present, enjoying all the details of the countryside and appreciating all my newly inspired thoughts. As I pulled in the driveway of my parents’ cabin I could see my daughter jumping up and down through the frosted glass door when she saw me… her love was just exploding out of her body. And for the first time I felt the same way about myself.
I cannot thank you enough. And now I am off to fulfill one of my weekly minimum requirements… going to bed early at least twice a week…
12 Brenda Strausz Mar 2, 2010
I choose to be magical today. Today, I take out my magic wand and see and everything as a blessing. Every person I encounter is holy encounter. Everything that happens to me is just what I need for my joy or my growth or both. I am a walking, talking, breathing, smiling beacon of love, light and joy! Abracadabra and Amen!
13 Margaret Mar 2, 2010
I find that if I meditate everything is easier. Those transitions always have a bit of a ‘vacuum’ effect on me, like the air is moving fast around me, and those are the time to slow down even more rather than try to run as fast as I can to catch up. If I meditate I feel more grounded and am able to focus until I have made the transition emotionally.
14 Jennifer Mar 4, 2010
What a wonderful list of goodness. Kim, it was my honor to come your way and Chris, your comments made my week – shoot, my year!
15 Letting go of… — Third Hand Works Mar 5, 2010
[...] the beginning of this week, I responded to Jennifer Louden’s* “Choose Your Life Mondays” blog post with [...]