I always preach this to retreat pilgrims and I remind creativity coaching clients- beginnings are always slower than middles and most certainly than ends. Beginnings can be dangerous, feel crafty, shift under your feet. We must never compare our output or clarity or mood during beginnings with what we remember about finishing our last project or about the pleasure that can come from the middle, when we are plunked down in the abundance, thrumming with intention each morning.
The longer we have been creating, (perhaps?) the easier it can be to trick ourselves that our next beginning won’t be slow, awkward, ungainly, edgy, or petter out into naught. But the truth is, at least for me, that no matter how many years I’ve been writing- professionally since 1995- beginnings are always itchy, abyss contemplating, sometimes aborted, and require extra kindness, structure, and support.
I am beginning a new book today- the Inner Organizer (working title- I so need new title, I’ll be announcing a contest soon for help naming this book so be sure and be subscriber to my newsletter if you want to help). It has to be written in two months and will be published in late fall. The heart of it is the Inner Organizer questions I’ve been creating for years – but there is a new body of ideas that wants to become clear around these questions, and that is where my heart trembles today.
I also began my own 2006 Inner Organizer last night.
I am a twitter with energy, hope, and raw awareness of the wavery edge between excitement and anxiety. I am aware of how much energy I have to create and shape this book and this year, and how vital it is to stay present, focused, and grateful.
In support of these dual beginnings, I’ve made my 2006 Inner Organizer into an art journal and brag book. I bought a sturdy 9X12 art sketchbook with thick pages that can take a beating ($14.95) and I created a page or two each for my insights, desires, and intentions (see Inner Organizer or Comfort Secrets for Busy Women for more on how to use these ideas or search Comfortqueen.com for related articles). I cut apart each 2006 IO page into three parts to make room for more writing. I’m keep it by my bed so I can refer to it each night as my nightly check in ritual.
In between and here and there, I’ll paste emails, cards, quotes, whatever comes my way that reminds me to praise and celebrate my gifts and offer them to the world. Color, fun, more room- and all for the support of my inner knowing and in support of how to make this into an undated book to reach the women and men who need it.
One of my two desire pages
I used a paper cutter to separate the questions page from the calendar page, and then cut the calendar page in two to make more room for sorting have to, could do, and let go of as the week goes on.
Insights -
this is my first page in my journal and what I believe helps me the most by reflecting on this almost every night. Insights are cheap- it is living them that costs!
One or two more intentions to come- one about mindful eating- I’m working on the most evocative wording.
This year- for me is about focused pleasurable finishing- backing away from struggle or making things hard; being physically healthy and stable; and clearing my imaginative backlog- through clarity and small, doable steps and my first ever business plan.
What are you beginning? How do you feel about beginnings?
8 responses so far ↓
1 Marilyn Jan 2, 2006
I seem to be the opposite–beginnings are great for me…but then I lose interest/peter out/drift away. As you know, I’m starting Blogging the Artist’s Way and I have to say I’m VERY excited about the group that’s assembled. It feels like leaping into the unknown with a giant, squishy net waiting below me just in case. Andrea at Superhero Journal asked readers today to think of their theme for 2006. I’ve declared mine to be The Year of Manifestation. Here we go!
2 Poppy Jan 3, 2006
Beginnings frighten me a bit. I have so much energy at the start of something and so little right in the middle where I need it, and I dread that point at every beginning.
I’m also just starting my 2006 IO – right now, it’s scattered across my LiveJournal account and my hard drive as I have thoughts posted wherever was most convenient at the time. I’ve already encountered my first challenge in being utterly unable in the middle of two holidays, a birthday, and family visiting to set aside an hour of time just to listen to the first Audio Guidance piece. It’s a good thing I have all month to come back to it and listen again!
3 cindy Jan 3, 2006
well im am beginning this new year by looking for a new job. today my plan is to go out and plaster my resume in about 20 clinics. also i have on the back burner this week doing some research into what it would take to become and art teacher. i plan on interviewing at least one art teacher to see what a typical day is. im on the brink of switching directions in my life. i am bored stiff with may last occupation and am soooo ready for a new line of work that excites and inspires me for at least 10 years. ive been reading bits and pieces out of: “Now What, 90 days to a new life direction, “what color is your parachute?”, “wishcraft, how to get what you really want”, “do what you love and the money will follow”, and “finding your own north star”. so between all of these i am certain it is time for me to move on in my current occupation as a reserach tech in biomedical research. yes i know, a far cry from art education! beginnnings do not frighten me. i rather like them as their is a certain thrill to beginning something new. and there is a lot of energy that goes with that. i also am using the IO this year and am so glad to hear how u jennifer are modifying it and expanding it for your own personal use. i might have to setal that idea and use it for myself. right now i just have the sheets in a binder. to all you blog readers of jenn’s may your new year be filled with focused intention on your hearts desire! cindy
4 Karen Jan 3, 2006
Wow — what an awesome idea! I was just thinking about what I could do to really utilize this year’s organizer — alas, I feel I failed with last year’s — and then you posted. I can’t wait to finish work so I can go pick up an artist’s book. My intention for this year is to dedicate time to journaling, and this is just the kick-start I needed!
And it’s awesome to know that I will have a new book of yours in my hands this fall
Karen
5 Tara Benwell Jan 3, 2006
I promised myself this New Year’s Eve that I wouldn’t make any resolutions that only last at the beginning of the year. This is the second New Year’s Eve in a row that I put my baby to bed and took an evening to myself to write. A few cold beers by my side helped me to feel like less of a loser staying home waiting for my husband to come home from work with ten minutes to spare before midnight. But, instead of promising myself to do new and better things this year, I wrote down ten hopes for 2006. One was that I would come up with a new and interesting plotline for my second novel. For the past two mornings I have woken before 6 am (this is odd, since I work at night and generally sleep in until 9)and had the urge to put pen to paper in complete darkness. I don’t know if any of you have tried this, but it really has quite a different feel. Of course my scribble was almost impossible to read afterwards, with its waves of smudged gel pen and groggy sentences bumping into one another, but I still felt just as energized, possibly even more so, than I do after writing a journal entry where the letters all stand up straight. And, most importantly, in these hours of darkness before the simultaneous 9 o’clock coo of my husband and daughter I came up with an idea for a new novel.
6 lora danyluk Jan 5, 2006
yes slow beginnings are very true for me right now as well, though I must admit I am great at running headfirst into things so this particular slow beginning is most likely a blessing in disguise (As I look at my bank account and cringe) I have decided to start and run a graphic design studio. YAY. this is something I have always wanted to do I was never sure where in life it would be. I have always believed things happen for a reason and so I have found a pretty strong support group to help me in this endevor. It’s freakin scary. I read the other day that everyone is scared, your clients, your friends, your employees etc. and that it is up to each individual to deal with his or her fears. That one sentence had me floored for the next day or so.
I am also planning to have my first art show in October of 2006. I have been saying for two years that my art show will be in 2006. Now here it is. This isn’t scary for me in the least, it makes me want to dance in the rain and go paint.
I figured somehow the exhilaration I feel with the art show will help eliminate some of the fear of starting my company.
here is to 2006! and this year will be filled with hopes and dreams coming true.
7 Helga Jan 5, 2006
To me, the progession of just about anything feels more like the structure of a classical concerto (or of sex, if you will): The beginning is a tempestuous Allegro, or at least an Allegretto, brimming with ideas and juicy enthusiasm. The middle is an Adagio, often with switches to a minor, more plaintive key, when things progress more slowly and where problems may arise that could force me to abort the entire project. Stamina is key. And yet, there can be the sweetest, most tender holding here. If I make it through the plateau phase, the tempo picks up again to another Allegro, or even a Presto, with all the joyful impatience of a finishing flourish. The final, hefty chords are nothing short of climactic release.
There is a final phase, however. One without music. It is the emptiness, the hole, one may fall into after a project is finally finished. When we frantically search for the next things we surely have to do, while there aren’t any more. Unless there is an immediate new project, the potential for depression is great here. This is THE time to extend the sweet, spent languor into true, deep self-comfort. Dive into your own arsenal, or search Jen’s or a wise friend’s comfort pantry. Satisfying, fulfilling creation all around!
8 cindy Jan 6, 2006
wow helga! loved your description! cindy