I can feel the hundreds of people gathering their hearts

I can feel the shimmer of intention.

I can feel the settling.

I can even feel the clutter clearing, flower arranging and possibly the candle lighting.

Ahhh…

I’m not a very airy fairy person

I study yoga and subtle energy and all that body and soul stuff but honestly, I’ve always got one eyebrow cocked.

So it is absolutely fascinating to me to palpably feel this huge growing thrumming something.

It’s behind me and around me and carrying me forward like a gentle wave.

As I read participants intentions like”

take this ‘treat ‘ seriously”

to experience a few moments of “me-ness,”

to take that deep soul releasing breath and just BE with this! Accept the comfort and love of the words”

I want to recharge and find new ways to love and serve”

and

looking forward to reaching out to myself some”

The wave just gets bigger.

I am in awe of the power of the retreat container, the intention,we are creating together to stretch literally around the globe, to support us in our desire for strength, for peace, for renewal.

As I center myself in gratitude and take the rest of the morning and early afternoon to prepare myself to be a good steward of all this love, I ask all of you out there who are not joining us, to send a molecule of care and love toward all the participants this weekend, and to send twice as many molecules to yourself.

Tonight’s mini-retreats are me, Patti Digh, Hiro Boga and Fabeku. Be still my beating heart!

P.S. If you are new to my blog, I’m talking about the 2nd annual Big Virtual Retreat: Refresh, Reawaken, and Rediscover Who Your Are in Ways that Truly Work that starts Friday Feb. 12th You can still join us. Just be sure and read the How To Retreat e-book before tonight!

It is a holy need.

Sometimes in a “holy crap! I need a break” or in a “I’m full of holes, I’m ready for mending” or in a celebration of wholeness kind of way. All holy.

Here are a couple of excerpts from your entries:

Gail said:

You know, when I first watched the video all I could think was, “Oh my gosh, Jen can see what a total stressed out mess my life / business / life has become, and she’s here to rescue me. Has she been sitting in the corner watching me? Where are you hiding, Jen?”

Retreat. Wow! The word even feels delightful just rolling it around on my tongue. I can’t imagine giving myself permission for such a thing. But I would surely like to try. I’m exhausted, and accomplishing very little as a result – which exhausts me even more. I know better, but knowing doesn’t necessarily change anything.”

I promise I’m have no such video camera, sweetie. We all get trapped in the cycle of depletion, it’s so utterly convincing and feels so real – this is just the way it has to be, we mutter – that we’re like the proverbial frog in the pot with the water s-l-o-w-l-y heating up.

It. Does. Not. Have. To. Be. This. Way.

Fernanda said:

I have never been on a retreat before – it is scary how much I could learn about myself if indeed I had a chance. I am at a major crossroads in my life – do I pursue the career I had before staying home with my son? Or do I just get a job that will provide the hours that would make it possible for me to spend more time with him? Time vs money but also so much more…

I have felt like people’s cash cow since I was 14 years old. I started working full time then and my parents took my pay checks. I got married and the same happened with my husband. “For our future” I was told.

Now at the age of 37 I have absolutely nothing to my name.

This is not a time vs money thing – it is so much deeper than that!!!

Fernanda, it is! When we value ourselves, we refuse to be anybody’s cash cow or 24/7 doormat.  Self-care = self-dignity and the right to choose our lives.

Ellen wrote a hysterical entry that ended with the plaintive question many of us ask ourselves:

So what does retreat mean to me? A chance to quiet the voices in my head running my to-do lists, the opportunity to see who it is I want to be, to look in the mirror and see who I actually am. A chance to be REAL. This is a gift to give oneself but finding the time and finances can be a burden. The question is: am I really worth it?

I don’t think I’ll ever do a contest again because this was so hard.

Yet maybe it helped some of you see your needs and consider you can get them meet, even if you can’t retreat with me.  YES?  Maybe?

I had to choose the winner using a random number generator.

AND

I’m giving away a ticket to one of my live retreats so one more person gets to retreat.

And an extra seat at the Virtual Retreat, too.

The Nano with last year and this year’s virtual retreat sessions pre-loaded goes to Lisa comment #49

The free seat to this year Big Virtual Retreat with 13 heart expanding teachers, live support, and e-book goes to Marcy comment #21 and Barbara #101

A free ticket to one of my one day live retreats – your choice of Wisconsin, Texas, Ohio or Maryland – goes to Carrie comment #53

Please contact me by putting your email in comments or here to claim your prize.

Together, may we slay the dragons that hiss, “”YOU CANNOT PAUSE. YOU CANNOT GO WITHIN. YOU CANNOT REST.”

Each time a comment comes in, I’m blown away by how articulate and creative you each are – and how much you really really need a retreat.

I cry as I read your stories, cry at the loss, the need, the scary money struggles – and the self-denial.

I also punch the air with “Yes, you get it!” You get how powerfully healing and life saving retreats are.

I cry and I marvel.

Like when I read Carolyn’s story:

I lead retreats, I don’t do retreats. That is a sad and embarrassing thing to say. I am no different than every woman that has commented thus far or who has ever attended, or wanted to attend one of my retreats.

We say:  “I don’t have the time,”  (but we all know that isn’t true), I don’t have the money, (have you checked the price of a beverage at Starbucks lately), “I think I’ll wait until next time, maybe one that fits me better” (There’s never a retreat that will fit you perfectly if you’re looking for perfect). My list of so-called obstacles is the same as everyone else’s.

And yet, for me, I MUST go on retreat. I don’t think I even have the opportunity to say no any longer. I MUST find the way to that place of retreat where I know I will find peace, and quiet and rejuvenation.

I’ve been laid up now for months and months. And as I lay in bed with nothing to do but think, I’m not rejuvenated. I’m full of worry, I’m full of chatter in my head. What I KNOW is that when I go on retreat I give myself permission to let go. It’s a place where I’m challenged to truly be still. Being still in retreat is very active. Being still is a very deliberate choice.

Going on a retreat will give me the space to enter into that magical place of BEING that I’m longing for. So that I too can come away excited about life, MY life, and to let Joy flow out.

Wow, Carolyn, thank you.

The way I read the contest entries, two things are stopping you: money and permission.

I figure that is what gets in the way of you buying my books, hiring me as a coach, joining the Comfort Cafe.

So for those of you denying yourself the big Virtual Retreat or one of my one day retreats or just a book – for those of you, lost in a fog of “someday” or a story there is not time, take action on your own behalf this weekend (by Sunday night) – buy the retreat, register for a one day retreat, buy a book, and

I will donate 50% to Haitian relief efforts.

So for the Virtual Retreat, that’s $54.

For a one day retreat, that’s $55

For a book, it’s about $5.

For the Comfort Cafe, I’ll donate one month, $19.

Please enter this in the coupon code to help us track: HELPHAITI.

Because when you do something truly nurturing for your soul– something that takes courage and time and effort – you gain the ability to make the world a better place.

So here’s a literal example of that.  Take action on your own behalf and I’ll pay it forward.

In service to your greatest good and most alive self.

You know retreats rule.

(At least, I hope you do. If not, trust me on this one.)

They put the sparkle back in the diamonds on the souls of your shoes (sorry, been listening to a lot of Paul Simon lately).

They give you a path back to the spring that burbles at the heart of your soul (wow, lots of purple prose today).

They free you from Squirrel Mind and grinding marching to-do blahs.

They wake you up “Oh yes, this is who I am and this is what matters to me! How could I forget?”

Retreats heal.

Only hitch is, it sometimes often feels just about impossible to make the time.

And when you do, it can (at least this is true for me and I wrote the damn book!) be scary to go within, to calm the Squirrel chatter in your mind and choose what will renew you.

So that’s why I created the 2nd annual Big Virtual Retreat with a bunch of very wise teachers.

And

This contest so you can win a chance to retreat.

Because some of us, we need to be smote by chance before we actually take the time to get what we need.

Here’s your chance to be smote by ole Lady Retreating Luck (a little known Jungian archetype).

To enter simply leave a comment (or if you want extra brownie points – leave a link to a video you  made) telling me why a retreat would be just the thing for you right now.

Or tell me why you can’t retreat.

Or how retreats have been healing for you.

I’m open to anything!

I’ll read your comments, and watch your videos and announce the winners on February 1, 2009

But Wait, there are Prizes (but of course):

First Prize:

An I-pod Nano filled with all the recordings from last year’s virtual retreat and this year’s retreat. This is a one-of-a-kind prize (that will mean I have to order a nano, find all the sessions, download them, write you a note, and put it the mail – so this is a BIG DAMN PRIZE DAMMIT).

You will be able to mix and match the 14 recordings from the 2009 retreat and the 12 recordings from this year’s retreat to create mini-retreats any time that you choose.

How cool is that?

Second Prize:

A seat at this year’s virtual retreat – including transcripts and audio recordings and e-book and live support during the weekend and all the good global vibes of hundreds of people getting the retreat vibe going at the same time.

Also known as the No-More-Excuses-to-Get-What-I-Need-Prize.

Entries will be judged on creativity and need and I’ll want to chose every last one of you and I’ll lose sleep but you know what?

If it convinces a few more of you to take a retreat — this one or anyone – it will be worth .

So, tell me your story and let’s all get smote.

The deadline for entries is January 22, 2009