Rachel, I wrote this post because I hear that beating up thing happening – in me and over at the Cafe – and I needed a loving talking to – so share the love I say.

Carolyn, one of the tasks of mid-life is to let go to be reborn. I never knew it would be frickin hard! But it’s imperative we do it with love and tenderness or we can’t go on. And we must go on because we have so much fun ahead!

Thank you once again for this post.

I relied on your book years ago to help me through a difficult time, but you know how you forget everything you learned the second time around?

Well, I forgot some of it, and so to stumble back upon your blog, and you on Twitter, and see all the links and resources to comfort has been wonderful.

This post really resonated with me, as I have been going through an awful hormonal time.

And just the reminder not to cudgel myself is so helpful!

I think my signature preoccupation is looking back, and secondarily, regret.

Instead of seeing what I have, or the opportunities in the future, when things change, or a major life issue occurs, I look longingly back and really mourn things that either didn’t happen or that did happen but have passed by(like children growing up, or having babies, or not having more babies, or whatever.)

To be honest, I found out yesterday that I’m suddenly postmenopausal. Suddenly feels like an era changer.

I want to embrace it and embrace the rest of my life (my grandmother lived to 105!) and think of all the fabulous women I know and admire.

but it brings up regrets and change, and so I want to learn to look at that without a sense of loss and with a sense of expectancy for hope.

And then stop beating myself up for feeling bad as well!

Hope this wasn’t too long a post, but it helps to share!

@Dawn – you are so right about it being their “stuff” and not ours – and for me, that is part of being a “grown up” and realizing that it’s not all about me. How’s the job search going?

@Julie B – thanks for reinforcing that connection to self-sabotage – an enormous issue for me. I didn’t even think about that when I wrote this. Of course little Kat hasn’t shown up a whole lot this week now that I’ve given her permission to come out…