Choose Your Life Monday is an invitation to name what pattern you will lovingly notice this week and to do so in community. Join in when and however suits you.
Note: We updated WordPress and the fonts are all wonky. Pretend this post looks pretty instead of odd. I’d appreciate it.
Good Work Jen
Last week I declared I would lovingly notice when my reptile brain is ruining the show and I’m feeling completely alone and I will resource.
I did!
It worked!
Did you know your brain is structured to look for what’s wrong? “It’s Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones,” as Rick Hanson writes Buddha’s Brain (available in October, I’m reading an advance copy and loving it).
We evolved by paying attention to what’s wrong, what’s scary, what’s out of place – we didn’t stroll on the savannah admiring the flowers; we constantly scanned for predators, ready to flee for our lives.
Worked then, doesn’t work so well now.
We have to train ourselves to notice and savor the positive, and thus rewire our brain to be more content, peaceful and happy.
It isn’t hard – take five seconds to keep your attention on how good that first sip of morning tea tastes. Take ten seconds to experience with your whole body the hug of someone you love. Gaze into your pet’s eyes and let the love you feel for him or her warm your heart. Let it in, relax your body, and imagine this goodness sinking deeply into you, like warm sun does after a swim in a cold lake.
Try it right now.
Train the brain to savor the good, that’ s my new motto.
How Training the Brain Helps Me Out of Hiding
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about coming out of hiding. What I didn’t know then, that I know now, is why I hide.
I hide because I judge a lot of what I do as not significant enough. Not important enough. Not original enough.
I blush to write this.
These poisonous thoughts, served with a side helping of comparison, have lead me to all sorts of twisted second guessing, redoing projects to make them “the best,” overworking, and other boondoggles, including not putting my work into the world with more consistency and directness.
Where I ever picked up the idea that important = I have no idea.
What’s really funny? I’m at my best when I’m being funny and light. I feel most alive – and effective – when I’m being light, even silly, and caring versus serious and caring (my voice got deeper just writing that last bit).
Weary of Significance
I am, thank God.
Being tired of a pattern is the best possible news because this is when I, finally, let go.
Ahhh… give it up. Stop struggling. Stop trying so hard.
Who Cares if It’s Important?
Declares the Comfort Queen. No more losing my way in the labyrinth of significance.
(I wonder what waits in the center of the labyrinth of significance – the Minotaur of Pomposity?)
It’s not up to me to decide what important is, by the by. I show up, tune in, attempt to express myself honestly and in ways that are of value to my readers. The rest? None of my business.
Of course, this is easier said than done.
I need a practice.
Since my practices are often about paying attention, this week I will
lovingly pay attention to when I am second guessing, over working or otherwise prevaricating
and
I will lovingly look for the thought – which comes in many shapes and flavors – that what I’m doing isn’t important enough.
I’ll be a significance spotter.
Then I will laugh at myself, with tenderness but of course, and get on with the work at hand.
Enough with the importance, we’re burning daylight. (John Wayne from The Cowboys, a favorite childhood movie of my dad and me.)
Oh, and I’m also treating my work as a day job instead of a sacred calling – more on that soon.
What will you notice this week? With love, with lightness, with a soupcon of drollness, what are you loving about yourself this week?
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13 responses so far ↓
1 Liz Jun 29, 2009
Jen,
I love the notion of the labyrinth of signinficance. I can’t even tell you how often I’ve been lost there. I’m sure it’s why it took me years too long to write my dissertation! Let’s hope that by noticing my brain is leading me down that path, I can make another choice.
Thanks!
2 Hiro Boga Jun 29, 2009
Jen, this is so perfectly and beautifully you. Your lightness, your humor bring your wisdom to life in a way that my heart recognizes with a sigh of relief.
Thank you.
The labyrinth of significance. The minotaur of pomposity! Hee hee!
This week I will lovingly notice when the-sky-is-falling clouds my vision.
Much love to you,
Hiro
3 Lynne Tolk Jun 29, 2009
This is so what I need right now, thanks!
I’m stressed and overwhelmed not only doing more than I’m used to, and in unfamiliar territory, but worried about being smart, clever, “significant” enough!
Definitely time to lighten!
4 linda marie Jun 29, 2009
I wonder how many “vacations” I’ve lost by dwelling in negativity instead of savoring the positive in each moment…
Thanks for the reminder, Jen.
(I don’t post as much as I would like, but I want you to know how “significant” you are to me!!!)
5 Gyllian Davies Jun 29, 2009
I was about to race out the door on a road-trip when I read this. Such timing! Recognizing that there are no accidents, I say thank you for this reminder about choosing who to be in the world!
This week I will lovingly (and with great gratitude!) notice what a beautiful gift it is to be alive and how beauty is all around me. YUM!
6 Chris Jun 29, 2009
Boy did I need to hear ‘stop trying so hard’! There’s putting your attention on something and then there’s squashing it to death. I can name 3 things I’ve been squashing…. Thanks Jen!
7 Christina Jun 29, 2009
This week I am not going to feed the wolf of worry that seems intent on sitting at my feet.
Maybe if he’s hungry he’ll go somewhere else to find food.
I am going to feed the wolves of joy and creativity instead. Maybe they’ll keep coming back for more.
8 Teresa Morrow Jun 29, 2009
Jenn,
It is interesting to me you had written this post because it so speaks to what I have in the works to write about tomorrow. Why do each of us have this pressure to be perfect when being real and being ourselves is more precious than being perfect.
Thanks for this post.
Sincerely,
Teresa Morrow
9 Jenny Jun 30, 2009
Jen,
I can’t wait to read what you share with us about your statement – “Oh, and I’m also treating my work as a day job instead of a sacred calling – more on that soon”!!!
Thanks for being you.
10 char Jun 30, 2009
I want what you got Jen – my wish for the week is the same as yours!!! Thank you for saying it for me.
Just yesterday, someone who loves my work asked me if I ever thought of doing comedy on the side because she finds me hysterically funny in addition to being gifted with my work.
Wow – what a compliment!! Made my day.
As she said that, I felt a big heave ho to the intensely serious approach I’ve been experiencing for a while about my work.
xoxo
Char
11 Nancy B Jul 3, 2009
Your timing is impeccable! Just what I needed. I am good at play, my art is all about play. But I have been having trouble sleeping and, when I do sleep, I have nightmares. I am going to use these questions to help me find out what they are trying to tell me.
Love,
N
12 Hope Evey Jul 3, 2009
This week I will lovingly notice, honor, and sit with presumptive guilt/shame – assuming that things will go badly, that it will all be my fault, and that everyone will, rightfully, hate me for it.
13 Choose Your Life Monday #28 » Comfort Queen Jul 6, 2009
[...] Last week I declared I would [...]