Choose Your Life Monday is an invitation to name what pattern you will lovingly notice this week and to do so in community. Of course, you can do it any day you want- you don’t have to start on Monday. Join in when and whenever suits you.
So I screwed up a tad. I put a link to the first Choose Your Life Mondays post in my newsletter that went out yesterday not this one…
The good news? There are a ton of wise and articulate and amazingly aware women in our community and they posted very inspiring thoughts on what they will lovingly be aware this week here.
But not here. So now there will be two very juicy lists of what we are each being aware of this week – there and here!
So go read their comments because you will be richly wildly inspired and then you can post there or if you are in a hurry and don’t want to read everyone’s comments or you just want to post here because it’s tidy then great and if you have already posted, please bonk me on the head now for trying to explain all this in such a tedious manner (I drank champagne last night and ate cake at my birthday party with the girls and I’m a tad sugar coated today).
Okay, back to Choose My Life Monday
Last week I will lovingly noticed when I was exuberant and I enjoyed that about myself and if I had the thought, “I should do something with this energy, like use it or share it or make it last,” I just took a breath.
Here’s what I learned: when I start to feel exuberant and on fire with life, I can get snagged into thinking I need to do something with the feeling. This week when that started to happen, I felt my feet on the ground and I brought my awareness to the environment around me and I told myself, “Hey baby, just feel good or big or excited, be here with this energy, this feeling. Nowhere to go, nothing to make, nothing to make happen.”
Oh that felt so good! So simple and so good. I love awareness!
This Week
I’m re-inviting my experts for the Comfort Summit today — which has morphed into Comfort During Uncertain Times Virtual Retreat: Finding Calm, Confidence and Contentment no Matter What , an even juicer idea!
…and as I work this week on this BIG EXCITING SCARY project, I will be aware of when fear and overwhelm come to visit. And when they do, I might choose to do what Susan Piver teaches in her wonderful book How Not To Be Afraid of Your Own Life and put my attention on the feelings rather than the self-talk that accompanies the feelings. I can name what I am feeling and notice it, without trying to change it and without getting caught up in the story that goes along with it.
Meditation in action!
I won’t try to change what I’m feeling, I’ll simply notice the feeling, and let the story go.
18 responses so far ↓
1 Shannon Wilkinson Dec 8, 2008
This week I will lovingly notice what happens just after I have a thought to do something. I notice that I have lots of ideas that I don’t necessarily act on, and I’m really curious what happens in that moment of open space between the idea and the doing or the not doing.
Thanks Jen!
2 Starrybluesky Dec 8, 2008
Is it already the 4th monday ? I somehow missed the 3rd one !
Anyway, I am still going to keep noticing how I use my time. And great suggestiont Jen to keep a notebook of it. I’m going to do that for a couple of days this week and see what it throws up. ( Even though I somewhat dread the idea ! )
3 Hiro Boga Dec 8, 2008
This week I will stand up for myself and ask clearly and vigorously for what I need. And trust that I will be heard.
Deep breath.
And feel my feelings of vulnerabiliy, helplessness and overwhelm.
I’m trying to talk with physicians–an orthopedic surgeon, my family Dr–whom it’s hard to get in to see.
And who have no more than ten minutes allotted for a discussion that needs more spaciousness.
The outcome of this discussion will determine to a great extent the physical quality of my life for the next year or so.
So I will be an effective advocate on my own behalf.
Yes.
4 Diane Whiddon-Brown Dec 8, 2008
This week I am working on starting two new blogs and revamping my current business, as well as trying to make a daily habit to work on The Novel. So, I will try to lovingly notice when I’m feeling overwhelmed and stressed, and when my perfectionist tendencies are whacking me upside the head. I will make an effort to slow down and trust that the everything I need, I already have.
5 Wendy Cholbi Dec 8, 2008
Last week I noticed that I *do* have self-care tools that I have learned and am able to use. I practiced noticing this fact when I felt hopeless and overwhelmed. When I was tempted to say “nothing is going right” I could shift into the awareness that noticing how I was feeling was, in fact, something that was right.
So this week, I’m going to lovingly notice those feelings of hopelessness and overwhelm. It’s actually the same principle that you describe, Jen, for last week: Noticing the feelings without instantly having to *do* something about them.
I reeeeeeeeeeally don’t like these “negative” feelings (well, who does, really?). I have a lot of tricks for avoiding them. Last week I noticed and practiced self-care, and this week I’m not going to stop that — I’m just going to try to breathe through the feelings. Trying to balance true self-care with avoiding the feelings in question. Writing this is scary. A big risk. Because I’m basically saying that I’m going to just breathe and survive when my wacked-out emotions are telling me that if I keep feeling this way for one more second, I’m going to die or explode or go insane.
@Hiro Boga: I *so* hear what you’re saying about needing more spaciousness to talk to medical professionals who have their entire day blocked off in 10-minute chunks. It’s a system that is due for some healing. I’ve been through a similar process, and I want you to know that you *can* find caring doctors and you *can* make your needs heard. You are your own best advocate, and persistence is your ally. I’m with you all the way.
6 Caireen Dec 8, 2008
This week I am going to notice how I try to control things when I feel they’re getting out of control and too busy when the pressure is on! And then I’m going to take a deep breath and go with the flow reminding myself that everything is just perfect as it is. And that I can do this thing that I’m doing… *big hugs to everyone*
7 Christine Dec 8, 2008
Ok, this week I’m really trying to focus on what I want my niche to be. I’ve really been all over the place about it and have resisted the idea of niche, altogether just because there are so many, many things I love and want to do….
So, my focus this week will be to record all of the exciting ideas I have for things that I want to do. I will really try to find a common thread in these ideas as I have recently thought that might be the key to figure out what my niche is.
8 JoVE Dec 8, 2008
I’ve been having trouble articulating an intention in this series, but I have noticed over the past week or so that I’m feeling some anxiety and I’m trying to figure out what that is about. Might be PMS. Might be the approaching holiday with all its baggage.
This week I will try to notice that anxiety. and breathe through it.
9 Hiro Boga Dec 8, 2008
Jennifer, thanks so much for the gift of this Monday morning’s intention-setting. It shifted some deep pattern in me, and this afternoon, I got the help I needed by asking clearly and directly for it. And by letting my doc see my vulnerability. And by shedding tears in her office, which I’ve never done in all the years I’ve known her.
All this flowed from your blog-post and invitation to join you this morning.
Just want you to know the power of the gift you’ve so generously given.
Wendy and Diane, thank you both for your encouragement and support.
10 Dawn Dec 8, 2008
This week I want to be more aware of the positive, exciting feelings I have about my dissertation, AS WELL AS the more angsty thoughts (which tend to overwhelm the good thoughts). Maybe I’ll even write them down to reference when I feel defeated and negative.
11 Pace Dec 8, 2008
This week, when I think about the fact that I couldn’t come up with anything for Choose Your Life Monday (and believe me, I will), I won’t stress out about what that means or worry that I’m bad at introspection. I’ll just lovingly notice that feeling and take a breath.
Thanks. (:
12 chris zydel Dec 9, 2008
I am lovingly noticing the pattern of actually being able to relax ( even if I can only do that after I’ve put out a huge amount of effort; gotta love that too!) and my pattern of being able to turn any situation, whether it’s cleaning the house or running an errand into an opportunity to be goofy and to have fun and to play.
Thanks for setting this up for us all, Jen. It’s such a sweet way to start the week! And I’m glad you got a chance to be sugar coated for your birthday.
And what a great reminder to keep our focus on what we feel and not what we think about what we feel.
13 Danielle Dec 9, 2008
This week as I name my feelings from A to I …. i’ll attempt to not hook into the story. Notice when the storm has passed.
14 Emma Larkins Dec 9, 2008
Thanks for the thought-inspiring post!
This week I will accept all the effort that I’m putting into taking care of myself, running my parents’ business while they’re away, taking care of my home and my pets, keeping up my blogging schedule, nurturing my long distance relationship, and working on various writing projects. I will accept when my body says “Hey, I need a break!” I’ll focus on my accomplishments instead of what still has to be done.
15 Jennifer Dec 9, 2008
I feel so overwhelmed with love that it is hard to write anything in response to your strong like good tea insights.
@Hiro, I’m so thankful to see your clarity in this mirror. And so glad you are getting the care you need.
@Pace, I can totally see where picking something could become like “Oh, not going to Jen’s blog cause she makes me work.” Am I just too introspective?
@Wendy, thanks for reminding me I have self-care tools, too. Why not use them?
I love reading all your words so much!
16 Rachael Dec 9, 2008
This week, I will lovingly notice when the line between curiosity and procrastination begin to blur.
17 Sheilah Vance Dec 10, 2008
Hey Jen–
Even though this is Wednesday, I love the idea of choose your life Monday. Just reading that made me feel instantly better and shift my thinking into–yes, I can choose and change my life. So, I’m choosing to be happy, healthy, peaceful, prosperous, comfortable, loving and loved. Hugs and kisses to you as I’m off to live my wonderful Wednesday. Peace. Sheilah
18 Spike Dec 11, 2008
Thank you for the timely reminder about the tyrannical insanity of lists.
Writing them has been a dangerous tool for me. On the helping hand, they help me see what really needs to be done, and in what order. On the harmful hand, I end up with more that one human can accomplish in a week, never mind one day.
I think next time I find a list creeping into insanity, that I’ll write one that reiterates “start a diet” interleaved with “bake more cookies” and “knit everyone a sweater designed especially for them” just to remember I am ONE person. I don’t have to do it all, be it all, have it all.
Besides, where would I put it?