I got to talk with my good friend Mr. Michael Neill this morning on his radio show about fear and how you can find comfort and calm no matter what. You can listen in – and if you did already listened and want to know more about the upcoming Comfort Summit we talked about, join this list and you’ll be among the first to learn all about it.
What I loved about our conversation was getting to talk about fear openly. I feel like I’ve come out of the closet about fear and like someone who just stopped smoking or discovered they love fruitcake, I want to tell everybody I can what I’m learning about fear.
Here are a few highlights from our conversation:
- Shame and fear are linked; we can feel ashamed for feeling afraid because we should only be happy and grateful, especially if we have done a lot of inner work or have a roof over our heads. It can be very hard to admit we are afraid.
- We can feel we are doing something wrong if we feel fear or anxiety. If we just ate better, meditated more, trusted in the Universe more, had invested more wisely, we wouldn’t feel this way
- While we are each afraid of different things (money, illness, aging parents, getting our creative businesses off the ground, finding love), we all need the same thing: a way to access, to source, calm and comfort, that is not dependent on what is happening in our lives. We each get to that source comfort in different ways but we all have the capacity to experience comfort no matter what.
- While it imperative to let yourself realize and feel you are afraid without pushing it away, it’s equally vital to remember that you are the queen / king of your life; You are the one who gets to choose. Fear does not have to impress you nor does it automatically get to run your life.
- Letting yourself be afraid without running a big story about how bad you are for being afraid or how you will always feel this way or if just this was different, you wouldn’t be afraid, prolongs the ick.
I’m working away on the Comfort Summit and the new membership site… today had the idea to turn the Summit into more of a four day retreat… more comforting and safe feeling, me thinks.
Back at it! Love love love!
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4 responses so far ↓
1 Nicole Dec 5, 2008
It was a great show. I really got a lot from it. Everyone should check out the Hayhouse archives and give it a listen.
2 A.R. Dec 5, 2008
I really got a LOT out of the show with Jennifer & Michael Neill – thank you so much!!
3 Michele Dec 5, 2008
First time listening to this show and I enjoyed it. I’ve bought many a book from Hay House over the years and never disappointed. It’s an interesting paradox to me that while I agree slowing down and leaning into fear, not becoming ‘owned’ by it but acknowledging it and getting the lesson from it, is very important; I have also found over the years that taking action to serve others during fearful times is also a good practice. I get busy and do something for others even it’s just to bake a batch of cookies to take to the office or go through my closet and find clothes I can donate, or call RSVP and see who I might help transport to a doctor’s appt this week. If these service actions were applied collectively to our communities (however we define them) then even in the midst of all our fears, we can create movement – for ourselves and others. Taken to a another level, our country’s problems won’t be solved without collective movement coming from new thoughts and actions – together moving through the fog of fear (to use a metaphor). We can stay put and the cloud (fog) doesn’t move so we stay stuck and don’t “see” a way out, or we can move out from under the cloud by starting to walk. By acknowledging the cloud (fear) and by reaching out to find others there with us (we find we’re not alone), then we can move together trusting our Source to point us in the right direction even if we can’t see it. How many unemployed people (like the woman who called in from MA) are applying for jobs through the Internet, unemployment job sites, job fairs etc. but aren’t actually doing something that gets them out interacting with people in a service capacity while they are job hunting (I’d be very curious if the woman from MA during her 4-months of unemployment, has spent any time volunteering; has she offered her services for free to help non-profit boards if she was a former higher-level person; has she explored creating her own business?). Slowing down yes – but don’t stop reaching out in the process. Meeting people in this way not only gives one body movement but gives you purpose and you just never know, you might meet someone who knows someone wanting to hire someone who has the exact skills you have. Hunkering down under the cloud of fear I have never found to be the answer. I can lean in, acknowledge, but still need to find ways to keep moving to “create the good.” Both Michael and Jennifer’s thoughts and ideas were very significant and helpful. And they served to remind me that my fears are just thoughts I can observe – I don’t have to let them own me. Thank you for that!
4 Jennifer Dec 6, 2008
Michele – oh my golly gosh, THANK YOU FOR THIS INCREDIBLE COMMENT. I think I have to write a whole blog post around it. WOW. You are just so right on. I’m reminded to be sure and put a service element into the upcoming virtual comfort retreat… YES! Thank you!