Halloween is my favorite holiday (besides my birthday). Particularly this year because I need, we need, a ritual way to blow off a little steam! To let loose some of our fearful energies. To shimmy out some anger and dread and what-is-going-to-happen-on-Tuesday tension.
Halloween is your chance to creep up on the very idea of fear itself and be it in a playful, outrageous unbridled way. Isn’t it fascinating that a holiday that began as a celebration of those we love who have died became, in America at least, a chance to embody (literally) the pent up, bottled up, unvented parts of ourselves? To flirt with darkness and mayhem and blood. Why?
Because we Americans are all about dreams, potential, doing better, being our best selves, moving on up. Which is super-duper fantastic let’s-do-a-double-split-throw-poms-poms-in-the-air-all-together-now but if you live only there, in the bright place, the other parts of you have no room and so they wreak havoc in the weirdest ways.
So tonight, let those dark parts out to play. Make up a costume (even if just to wear around the house or to scare the kids who come to the door) that expresses your fears and worries- mine will be fears of poverty, failure, and creative nothingness. And yours?
Or make up a costume that expresses your inner bitch if you’ve been very contained and nice lately even while working with the idiots you have to suffer or the hateful teenagers you pick up after.
Or your inner I’m-so-sick-of-this-election-will-Tuesday-please-come character.
Or your I-want-to-hurt-anyone-who-had-anything-to-do-with-this-financial-melt-down costume.
Or what about a combination of those and more?
It doesn’t have to make sense to anybody else. Get some cheap face painting crayons at the drugstore, paw through your clothes or your kid’s dress up clothes, or blow off work right now and hit the thrift store. Heck, why not throw a party tonight with the theme of dressing as your inner fears and angers?
Burn down the house! Destroy the old to make room for the new!
And for those of you who are now horrified by my oozing fear and anger, here is a nice bit:
Crows caw, flap from fir tree to cedar
Overblown pumpkins seduce, “Pick me, pick me”
Corn stalk maze swallows us
Wood smoke, cat’s back, crunching leaves: Hay pricks at our sleeve
We scarecrows of the fading year
hearts soaring bare at all this migratory beauty as they always do when we are about to lose something beloved and not wholly appreciated (can all this ever be loved enough?)
The afternoon is embossed with longing,
Our faces turned toward the low rays of the sun.
Geese showing good sense overhead
We would not follow even if we could.
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7 responses so far ↓
1 Funny Halloween » Blog Archive » Comfort During Fearful Times: Happy Halloween » Comfort Queen Oct 31, 2008
[...] unknown wrote an interesting post today onComfort During Fearful Times: Happy Halloween » Comfort QueenHere’s a quick excerptGet some cheap face painting crayons at the drugstore, paw through your clothes or your kid’s dress up clothes, or blow off work right now and hit the thrift store. Heck, why not throw a party tonight with the theme of dressing as your … [...]
2 Kurtis Kid Oct 31, 2008
Costume shops nowadays have started offering sexy Halloween costumes (and even much prudent ones) ups. Kurtis Kid
3 Scary Halloween » Blog Archive » Comfort During Fearful Times: Happy Halloween » Comfort Queen Oct 31, 2008
[...] unknown wrote an interesting post today onComfort During Fearful Times: Happy Halloween » Comfort QueenHere’s a quick excerptGet some cheap face painting crayons at the drugstore, paw through your clothes or your kid’s dress up clothes, or blow off work right now and hit the thrift store. Heck, why not throw a party tonight with the theme of dressing as your … [...]
4 Eliane Oct 31, 2008
So you love Halloween? Well enjoy! I´m from Mexico so we celebrate Halloween the same as you by getting a costume and asking for candy, so I love the be what you want for tonight. Really go burn your house. But we have something extra…!!!! Tatatatan…
We celebrate the dead for two more days. We invite our dead to a wonderfull meal (a Altar we fix with their favorite food, tequila and sugar cranes) So we really go full out to laugh at death. To become her allie. So what do I get from this? The simple universal lesson to put some humor into our fears, lighten up and laugh.
Enjoy halloween, think about me during the weekend and laugh at your fears, especially the really scary ones.
Enjoy!
5 Maryam Webster Oct 31, 2008
Jen, what a beautiful narrative. I love autumn and Halloween is my favorite holiday in addition to Yule. In our home, we honor the ancestors and those who have gone before this night – especially those who have passed over recently. This year we will be honoring the lives and contributions of George Carlin (his humor is timeless), Studs Terkel (just today!) and other precious departed ones with a feast and stories of remembrance.
Ancestral foods are bubbling on the stove. The garlic mashed potatoes my mom, dad and my husband’s mother would have loved. The fried chicken and Philly cheesesteaks – the only time of the year we have these high calorie treats. Cider mulling at a gentle rolling boil fills the air with the rich scents of cardamom, vanilla beans, cloves and nutmeg. Crisp October apples bake in the oven stuffed with brown sugar and cinnamon.
The scents of this time of the year are among some of the most precious of small comforts. We long ago ditched the chemical-filled candles and fresheners for natural burnt or simmered herbs and spices.
Thanks for the lovely reminder of other beautiful signs of the turning of the year…
Warm Autumn Blessings,
Maryam
6 Tobey Nov 1, 2008
there are some wonderful lines in that piece! they would be great to use as prompts…
7 Helga Nov 2, 2008
When it comes to dealing fear, living in the Southwest has its distinct advantages. “Halloween” in its various adaptations lasts 3 days or more. Today is Dia de los Muertos, a celebration of those who have gone before (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_the_Dead). Yesterday was the Dia de los Inocentes or Angelitos, a special remembrance of passed young ones. As I’m working on, or at least actively thinking about, my costume for the upcoming All Souls Procession, an amazing local tradition (http://www.allsoulsprocession.org/history), I am dealing with Fear And/through Creativity. It is another opportunity to find and develop coping skills.
For me, fear and Loss are intimately connected because loss creates fear. There’s loss of people, their love, wisdom, and support – at least in their immediate, physical form -, and there’s loss of parts of myself that were connected to those dead and have gone with them. There’s the fear of how to ever re-forge those parts. And, of course, there’s fear of my own death some day, partly that reptilian thing kicking in [see Mona’s comment, 10/27], partly just a profound sense of loss. (Ok, screw healthy comfort – it’s cookie time!). Luckily, there’s also gratitude for all the wonderful folks I did have and still have in my life, and the sweet reminder that the relationship garden needs constant tender tending, including myself. (Yes, I’m putting that second cookie down.)
Now, we’re full circle, and Flow is palpable. Looking at my Dia altar, complete with photos of my dead ancestors, sugar skulls, and marigolds, I am part of that ever flowing cycle of life and death/fear and loss, while firmly rooted in my “ancestry”, in a very large sense (you choose what “ancestry” means for you). There is a grounding and peace here, teaching me that fear will come and go all my life and reassuring me that, whether it’s coming or going, I am ok.