I knew when I was writing my last post that it might sound like the "old" me that wants to push through to finish- and you know, some of that is arising in me. So I love this wake up comment from Marilyn, "What I think of when I hear "commitments" is discipline and I tend to rebel against discipline because I equate it with being told what to do when–even if I’m the one barking the orders. So I’ve let go of those "I’m going to ____ every day " type of commitments… I try to listen to my natural rhythms…" YES! I agree that we have natural rhythms that we must become intimately familiar with and work with to create with the flow (versus willing and white knuckling everything) yet when Marilyn wrote a moment later "…I do it [write] when the mood strikes," my creative coach self goes, "But what about avoiding the work because of fear?" As a professional who makes her living from being creative, I’ve always been suspicious of "working with the mood strikes," and perhaps the truth for me is when I/you/we have earned a certain spiritual maturity and awareness we are aware when we are working with the flow or when we are avoiding work- out of fear or laziness or not taking care of our creative vessel.
When Cindy’s comment arrived, I thought, "This too is good!" She wrote, "…when it comes to fulfilling our intentions, there is fine line between self nurture (taking a nap when we are tired) and self-indulgence (taking a nap when we want to just escape from everything- intentions included).. I allow myself GRACE on occasion- when I just don’t feel like making myself. I don’t say "I deserve such and so, therefore I can take this nap." Why lie to myself? I honestly accept this is where I am right now, and so I am going to indulge in a nap but OVERALL in my life I do believe in intentions and follow through are what make or break our commitment to CREATE our lives!"
Thank you Marilyn and Cindy for pointing out this vital distinction – so much richness in this vein! I am so appreciative for our community.
2 responses so far ↓
1 Marilyn Oct 23, 2005
I fully understand that those of us (not me) who depend on their creative urges for their livelihood must enforce some sort of discipline to meet deadlines and accomplish what they’ve set out to do. AND I’ve learned over the years what Cindy alluded to…that almost nothing good comes out of stubborn, forced action. Gentleness is key for me these days…listening, riding the waves and accepting that it’s okay to step away from the to-do list.
2 Lainie Oct 24, 2005
Oooh! Commitment and discipline — two of my favorite topics to whine about! Jennifer, I love your point that often we need to know the larger WHY… WHY are we trying to drink 8 glasses of water a day? WHY are we striving to watch less television? WHY are we holding the intention of being more patient with our children? In many cases, if the WHY isn’t large or strong or compelling enough, the actions become impossible.
At the same time, I do believe that we can get into the “WHY” trap. “I’m writing three pages a day because I want to finish my book by Christmas.” But WHY? we might ask. Hmmm… good question… maybe we’ll make it Valentine’s Day — after all, Christmas was just an arbitrary deadline… I think I’ll go take a nap instead.
“I am drinking 8 glasses of water a day because I want to lose weight.” But WHY? You’re right, who want to fit into some arbitrary cultural notion of what is fit and attractive? I think I will skip the water and have a latte instead…
You get my drift. So many of the deadlines and commitments we set for ourselves are, indeed, arbitrary. A goal weight. A deadline. An income. A vacation spot. They’re emotional (It “sounded” like a great place to go on vacation, but maybe we should stick closer to home…). There’s no ultimate right or wrong in life, so “WHY” can become our enemy as well as our friend.
In these cases, I think that for me, it’s important to have that discipline and commitment. “I’m going to get up at 6 and run four miles because I SAID I WOULD.” “I’m going to skip dessert this week because I PROMISED MYSELF.”
Those commitments to myself have to have weight, even if there’s no greater “WHY” than my word.
Sorry to go on so long… obviously I have a lot to say on this topic!
xxooxox
Lain