150 responses so far ↓

• 1 Andi Jan 10, 2010

  Why I can’t retreat: it’s too scary to be alone with all that stuff inside. Also, then I have to go back to my daily life, and can’t stay at the retreat forever. Ha. Also, financially things are really tight right now, and making time for something as “silly” as a retreat feels too indulgent, when I should be thinking of ways to bring more income into the family (DH has been unemployed for 3 years and has gone back to school).
  I do know they work, I was gifted with a week at a quilt retreat three years ago, and was able to create a work which won a major award because I had time to just be. And I belong to an art quilt group which requires attendance at at least one retreat every two years. Unfortunately the last one I attended was also the one I was hosting, so it wasn’t as retreaty as it could have been.
  It would really be nice to have some time to re-center and re-find myself.

• 2 Melynda Jan 10, 2010

  Every time I start to write this comment, I feel like I’m a contestant on that old tv show, Queen for a Day–you know, unveil a bunch of disasters and hope that your sorrows will be rewarded? But really, the sorrows are the smallest part of my life–a life filled with people I adore.

  I mostly love the idea of learning from all those fabulous people, and snagging a little bit of that incredible energy. There are people here at home, and people at work, who really, REALLY, need a me bursting with delight and joy and hope and energy . . . and actually, I’m one of them. (Also, yesterday’s unexpected $500 car emergency dulled my shine a bit, and will be keeping me from paying full price for the retreat, which was my original plan.)

• 3 Pam Jan 10, 2010

  The first time I heard of this, I really really wanted to participate… I have always wanted to do a retreat, to spend time just worrying about what and who I am, reaching into my creative self, hugging my child self, telling my survivor self that she is okay for feeling what she feels and going through what she did, and being there in connection to a bunch of other people coming for their own reasons…
  But life always gets in the way… in order to build my big dreams on my own (I have no husband or boyfriend or lover or even roommate if I don’t do it) I have to sacrifice a lot — every single thing I buy has to be a conscious decision, an offset against something else; spending time working on ME is time away from doing the essential mom things that single moms have to do because there isn’t anyone to feed the kids and clean up and read the books and help with the homework.
  While I desperately want the connection with others, every penny I spend is one less I have to feed my kids and keep the roof over our heads. No matter how much better I would feel about my life and my situation if I do spend time considering where I am and where I am going… I have to be there for kids who are not old enough to do for themselves. Every thought of doing soemthing for myself brings up the fierce GUILTMONSTERS of why… why should you do something for you, why are you so selfish, why would you think that they would accept you there, why why why?

  And so no matter how much I could USE a retreat, no matter how much I NEED a retreat, no matter how much I NEED to start connecting to other people who see the world the same way I do, I am stopped by realizing that this time I won’t be able to make the time for ME…

  It doesn’t stop me from WANTING and WISHING, just jumping and taking the chance…

• 4 Jenny Jan 10, 2010

  I haven’t been on a real retreat in 25 years. What a wonderful opportunity you are offering. I am 50 years old, recently divorced and a single mom of a 17 year old. We are struggling a bit financially, so I don’t think I could pay full price. This event sounds like just what I need to get me out of my funk.

• 5 Fernanda Mehta Jan 11, 2010

  I have never been on a retreat before – it is scary how much I could learn about myself if indeed I had a chance to do it. I am at a major crossroads in my life – do I pursue the career I used to have before staying home with my son? Or do i just get a job that will provide the hours that would make it possible for me to spend more time with my son? Time vs money but also so much more…

  I have felt like people’s cash cow since I was 14 years old. I started working full time then and my parents took all my pay checks. Then I got married and the same happened with my husband – he took all my pay checks. “For our future” I was told.

  Now at the age of 37 I have absolutely nothing to my name – not savings, not retirement, not stocks.

  And that is why it is not a time vs money thing – it is so much deeper than that!!!

• 6 Rebecca Jan 11, 2010

  Hmmm, I don’t know how to make a video. I’m a longtime fan – dating back to the original Comfort Queen book (you know the one that changed names). I’m in transition and could really use a little retreat direction just now. But going away – not possible – although I do dream of it.

• 7 Renae Jan 11, 2010

  Winter is just too darn long in the midwest! Need to be surrounded with the warmth of my sisters.

• 8 Ellen Jan 11, 2010

  Retreat, let’s define…
  –noun
  1. the forced or strategic withdrawal of an army or an armed force before an enemy, or the withdrawing of a naval force from action. (NO WAR HERE)
  2. the act of withdrawing, as into safety or privacy; retirement; seclusion. (MAYBE CUTTING TIME AWAY FROM THE KIDS, TIME FOR ME?)
  3. a place of refuge, seclusion, or privacy: The library was his retreat.(BATHROOM COUNT?)
  4. an asylum, as for the insane.(WILL BE IF I DON’T FIND ONE)
  5. a retirement or a period of retirement for religious exercises and meditation.(MEDITATION, CAN’T GET THE LISTS TO SHUT UP SO THAT I CAN MEDITATE)
  6. Military.(FEELS LIKE IT SOMETIMES)
  a. a flag-lowering ceremony held at sunset on a military post.(WOULD LOVE TO ENJOY A SUNSET ANYWHERE)
  b. the bugle call or drumbeat played at this ceremony.(SOFT MUSIC WOULDN’T HURT)
  7. the recession of a surface, as a wall or panel, from another surface beside it.(OOOH, MAYBE THERE IS A SECRET ROOM BEHIND ON OF MY WALLS, I AM ON A MISSION)
  –verb (used without object)
  8. to withdraw, retire, or draw back, esp. for shelter or seclusion. (VERY DIFFICULT, ALWAYS FIND SOMEONE OR SOMETHING BEHIND ME)
  9. to make a retreat: The army retreated. (DUH)
  10. to slope backward; recede: a retreating chin. (AS LONG AS IT IS NOT A DOUBLE CHIN)
  11. to draw or lead back. (PICTIONARY CAN BE VERY RELAXING)

  So what does retreat mean to me? A chance to quiet the voices in my head running my todo lists, the opportunity to see who it is I want to be and look in the mirror to who I actually am, I guess it is a chance to be REAL. I know this is a gift to give oneself but fining the time and finances can be a burden, the question is am I really worth it???

• 9 Danielle Jan 11, 2010

  Because I have been looking for a paying position since September 2008, am a single mother of an 11 & 13 year old and am turning 50 this month. Let’s see what of the three are the most stressful….

• 10 Kim Marie Jan 11, 2010

  I’ve always longed to go on a retreat, but the prices tend to be steep (at least the ones that I have seen). As I am studying to become a holistic health counselor, it has opened my eyes as to how critical self care really is. I, myself have never really took the time to do “self care” and it is still difficult to remind myself to do it. I believe most women feel as though, they don’t have the “luxury” of taking care of themselves because there is always some one or some thing that needs attention. Through my studies, I am realizing that if we DID take the time to care for ourselves, there would be an abundance of claririty, energy and love to give to others.
  Being a student and carrying a full time job along with all the other commitments I have, it isn’t always easy. However, I am done with excuses. I am done with not taking care of myself and therefore running on empty most of the time. Through this educational program, it has brought up alot of “inner dialog” which tends not to be so kind and I am fighting hard to work past my issues and insecurities so that I may become a exceptional, well rounded holistic counselor. I believe that attending this retreat would be EXACTLY what I need to assist me with my goals of becoming a better person and in turn a better holistic health counselor. Thank you.

• 11 Lisa Feythe Jan 11, 2010

  My idea of retreat (I’ve made two for myself): tell friends/family I won’t be answering the phone; have 1-2 inspiring movies or documentaries or comedy DVDs at hand; selection of gourmet take-out food so I don’t have to cook; my journal and some uplifting reading material; hired massage therapist to come to my home for a hot stone massage and mud wrap (or whatever sounds appealing); no e-mail/Internet, but yes to creative time that might involve computer; lots of naps. I intended to do these quarterly, but … revised plans to fit budget changes. LOL. New design scaled down, but still completely lovely and valuable.

• 12 amy Jan 11, 2010

  i want a retreat because a retreat is what my soul is crying out for.

  i am growing the baby of my first business and it is precarious at times, joyous at others, and lots of hard work. i KNOW in my heart that this is my life work because of how i feel when i am coaching with my amazing mama clients … it’s like i am finally, finally home.

  i want a retreat because i want the space to nurture myself, and somehow this potent time in my life doesn’t allow enough of that. even though i fully realize the importance, and i encourage my clients to nurture themselves at all cost.

  i want to fully explore all that i am learning in this rich phase of my life, all the incredibly serendipitous parts of it, and a retreat gives me the structure to do so.

  i want a retreat away from my babes and from the husband from whom i am disentangling myself after a decade of disappointment, in order to fully appreciate all that they have given and continue to give me.

  i want to be my BIGGEST self at this point in my life, and a retreat will feed me such that i can be bigger and bigger and yes, bigger.

  i want to include self-nurturing retreats in my offering in the years to come, and wouldn’t it be fabulous to have experienced one with the Comfort Queen?

  the last retreat i took was a week of silence with my teacher and 50 other students in 1999. it rocked my world. i’m ready for another life-changer!

• 13 Jen Jan 11, 2010

  I lost one of my best friends and companions to cancer a few weeks ago and my heart is broken. Her name is Abby and she is one of my dogs. Her story is here http://www.livinglikeabby.blogspot.com, if anyone is interested in meeting one of the best dogs anyone could have ever known… I’m not sure what to do without her.

• 14 Maureen Jan 11, 2010

  From an introvert:
  I need a retreat to have the time to find the space in all the wonderful things happening for me. Funny that happy things can be so scary sometimes. For the first time in my life (I am 42) I have a great relationship and am learning to negotiate introvert time with my extroverted partner. He has his son 1/2 time and I love him too, but never planned on kids at this point in my life. I just bought a big new house and am preparing to rennovate and move in a few weeks. The fiances are scarey. The boyfriend and I will then probably live together. Yikes, so much change, so many edges to soften, so much to negotiate. How lucky and unprepared am I?! Also I am suddenly recovering from a 12+ year cronic health condition – the recovery is quite painful as is getting to know and trust where my body is going is a great deal of change too. Hooray for communities like this!

• 15 Danielle N. Jan 11, 2010

  I just left my career from a field where I was working 60+ hours and was treated miserably. I’ve also never been to a retreat. I’m ready go in a new direction and discover what I’m passionate about. I need some time for deep introspection and to recharge. What a great give-away. Thanks!

• 16 Jodie Niles Jan 11, 2010

  well…..having had my VERY FIRST RETREAT with the Comfort Queen herself, my world was flipped upside-down and all around. and for that, i’m forever grateful. that turning point in my life was the beginning of my own personal spiritual journey. and that was seven years ago.

  since then, i’ve come to the realization that i want to do similar things as jen! i am now on the path of making my writing and coaching a real livelihood, a reality of daily joy and it feels GREAT! without that first encounter, though, that surreal experience, who knows where i’d be.

  and the energy that jen exudes – don’t we all want a piece of that? don’t we, who are here on this page, feel drawn to her simply because we feel a part of ourselves in her?

  i think that i keep myself from retreating now because i let ego get in the way – “oh i’m too young compared to these other women. and they are so experienced. so established. so smart.” talk about getting in my own way..yep, jen, i am still struggling with that one!

  yet every time i see or hear you, jen (btw, awesome to hear you on this video…your gestures and voice!) that inner part of me, the REAL essence of me – the HIGHER self, the divine in me – the part that’s NOT ego – is called….

• 17 Michele Stevens Jan 11, 2010

  I probably need a retreat, although I won’t allow myself the time for positive things- too much housework to be done, to many bills to be taken care of, too much laundry to do, too many kids calling “Ma!” (Actually, only two, but that is plenty).

  Within the last year, I have gotten divorced from my husband of ten years, tried to learn how to be a single mom on my income alone and have been diagnosed with a brain tumor. I had a craniotomy (brain surgery) in August and went back to work after three weeks. In December, I had stereotactic radiosurgery to try to reduce the tumor. I am fortunate that I have not had any serious side effects from what I have experienced so far, although the emotional and mental challenges presented to me are beginning to wear me down.

  Unfortunately, due to my ex-husband not paying child support and my medical expenses now, I would be unable to afford a retreat and am actually looking at bankruptcy.

  I actually am grateful for what I have learned since my diagnosis and hope to be able to share my experiences one day, if only I am able to get through this difficult time and think that maybe a retreat would be beneficial for that purpose.

• 18 Alexia Jan 11, 2010

  I need a retreat.

  Badly.

  I’d prefer to go to Greece for a month and laze around at my Grandfather’s house by the beach (yes, even in winter), but that’s a little out of my price range right now.

  I’ve been hacking away diligently at a new business – something that stretches me in uncomfortable but good ways.

  And I’m tired.

  My motivation is hard to come by these days, despite really cool stuff I’m planning for this year.

  And I’m running myself ragged working a rather menial job that takes way too much time & energy away from my *real* work just because it’s “steady work” & somehow pays some bills.

  So, Jen – I’m putting this out there – I need a retreat. I need one to recharge and renew my inner stuff (that’s the technical term ).

• 19 Beth B. Jan 11, 2010

  6:45Am
  My fourteen year old daughter yells “You suck at mothering!” as she leaves for the bus.
  7AM
  The cat vomits into my shoe.
  7:15
  I put on the shoe without noticing the vomit.
  8:30AM
  I get to work and am faced with our week-old software that gives me constant low-level anxiety.
  9AM
  My husband calls to tell me the hospital bill from his September hospitalization has arrived and it’s a whopper.
  9:15AM
  I say a prayer of thanks that he is now healthy.
  10AM
  I see my email from Jen and wish for the umpteenth time I could afford the money or the time to attend one of her retreats. The Life Organizer is one of the best things in my life right now. Week 22 and counting!

• 20 R Jan 11, 2010

  Why I need to Retreat: I need to retreat because I am getting divorced and the world seems filled with all kinds of Hard right now and winning this would make me feel like Lady Luck was shining on me once again. It would be great to be able to look forward to something happy as well.

• 21 Marcy Jan 11, 2010

  Re-TREAT … I want to not only share in *treating* myself to time, energy exchange, and spur on my zest for life … but I want to be apart of a group of women that are grateful and willing to share openly parts of themselves with others – so we in turn can see that we are more alike than different. 2008 was quite the whirlwind of LIFE TRANSITIONS for me. Cliff note version:
  1. Met my husband in Feb. ’08
  2. Found out we’re preggo April ’08
  3. Married legally May ’08
  4. Combined our households – him with a 2 yr old and an 11 month old BABIES!!!!!
  5. My children – 13 years and 11 years old.
  6. My plans for travel and work and well … my old life put on hold.
  7. Sold a home
  8. Bought a home
  9. Moved twice
  10. No family support – if anything – more drama.
  11. Delivered our baby prematurely – by c-section … I had hoped for a beautiful home water birth with our midwives … NOT.
  12. Diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and hypothyroidism
  13. My adrenals CRASHED!

  Through it all … my husband and I – of barely 2 years now … have drawn closer and stronger because we are all we have. Our children – all 5 of them – see that we are spiritual beings having quite the human experience.

  We are real. Raw.

  I’m FINALLY kind of on the right dosage of natural meds – I want my body to heal itself.

  In my healing process – I need a get away to share and just BE within the love, warmth, and energy of other soulful women!!

  Together we can CONQUER the fear right out of this world!!

  

• 22 Pamela Jan 11, 2010

  Why I Need A Retreat

  Just because. . . .dahling. . .just because.

• 23 Laura Strathman Hulka Jan 11, 2010

  http://wp.me/pdGOO-X

  I need a retreat because EVERYONE needs to refresh and renew SOMETIME!

• 24 Jacqueline Jan 11, 2010

  I need a retreat because I am an extrovert stuck in an introverts life and I want to sort out the weird thoughts that are running around my head all the time. I want a retreat because no matter what I do to organize my life it continues to defy organization and my priorities are out of whack adn I can’t figure out how. And finally because I want to figure out how I can feel safe in my life and love the life I have.
  Mmm. May be a tall order for this retreat but it would be a start.

• 25 Marcia Jan 11, 2010

  Hi Jen, I’ve just finished reading all the other comments and see that there are a lot of us in need of a retreat right now.I am also in that category. Unemployed for 14 months,using up savings, husband always around, several people depending on me for support through their trials, trying to make the money we have last so we don’t lose our home.As you can see the list is long and like so many others right now.Would rather have the nano right now so I can pick and choose my place of retreat. Thank you for offering this chance for renewal and refreshment.

• 26 Holly Jan 11, 2010

  This is the perfect time for a retreat as I move into my own office for the first time ever on Friday. I am finally doing the work I want to do on my own in a more committed way. Big transition!

  I can’t go to the virtual retreat because I’m scheduled to work 2 crisis team shifts (how much further away from retreating can you get?!) that weekend. The crisis team relief shifts are paying some of the bills as I develop my own work. So instead of retreating, I’m spending one of the weekends my 4 year old daughter is at her dad’s house dealing with other people’s crises.

• 27 Beth Jan 11, 2010

  In 2005 I went to a cabin on an island in the Bay of Fundy for two months. I took my laptop (writing), my fiddle (tunes!), some knitting, a journal, and my two cats. The cabin was on the uninhabited side of the island; it was a two-mile hike out once a week for groceries & laundry etc. Power came from solar panels and a wind turbine and had to be carefully rationed so there would be enough for the laptop.
  I spent two months perched above the waves writing, knitting, playing tunes, and talking to myself. When I left, I felt deeply cleaned out and clear and ready for the next step, whatever it was.
  That’s why I go on retreat—to talk to myself, to create, to be quiet, to be with the land & the water. To be.

• 28 Kristin Jan 11, 2010

  Why I _can’t_ Retreat right now: because it seems as though fans like Fernanda, Danielle, and R need it a little more…

• 29 J Jan 11, 2010

  Why I need a retreat? Because for the first time in my life I can stand up and scream from a rooftop (and mean it): I deserve a retreat!

• 30 Nancy Jan 11, 2010

  I am a full time teacher — and have been for over 20 years. It is impossible for me to leave my kids during the school year. I have found that I need to schedule my life around school. My kids (grades 4 and 5) depend on my to be there. It’s a commitment that I made to them and one I will keep. I have only taken 1 sick day in the last 5 years.

  I have a second job teaching chemsitry at the community college and I do consultant jobs (in the educational area) on a regular basis. I am a very busy 50 year old.

  In addition, I have 8 wonderful grandchildren who keep me busy and full of love. My husband and I always ahve kids sleeping over onthe weekends so that their sleep-deprived parents can get a break.

  I would love this prize. I can already imagin listening to it while I drive to and from work, or when I am swinging out on the swing set in my backyard in the early morning sunlight.

  Thanks for listening.

• 31 Linda Jan 11, 2010

  Why do I need a retreat? Because I know that somewhere beneath the grocery lists, under the laundry pile, sitting beside the dog that needs a walk, and within the woman who has a catcher’s mitt on each hand and foot to handle all that life throws at her each day is a woman who longs to move with passion, sing with joy and get in touch with what her life is truly saying to her. Somewhere in here is the woman my husband calls “Lovely Linda” and I want to invite her to come out and stay for a long time.

• 32 Susie Roberts Jan 11, 2010

  Ahhhh….retreat…..such a delicious word that rolls around your tongue and makes you want to pack your sarong!

  Where do I start on my reasons? Working for the most dysfunctional person with the widest streak of cruelty, and being made redundant at 54 from a profession that had defined my life for 37 years (and was also my passion). Then discovering my mother was very ill and spending wonderful, exhausting, enlightening times mending those fences and ironing out all of the bumpy bits of our relationship before she died in May. Then my much loved 14 year old Tonkinese cat died…….he and I shared a big fierce love and I daily miss his weight curled on my lap.

  So….I had retired after my redundancy to then find myself retraining to become a celebrant and a consultant as well as opening my heart wide to two juvenile delinquent large dogs who add real depth to my life.

  I am exhausted on all levels : physical, mental, spiritual and emotional……I didn’t have time to grieve my career nor get over the body blow of losing it before my mother’s illness which has deeply affected my family’s life.

  So, I sit here not being able to sleep at nights, overweight, unfit, struggling to get my celebrancy business up and running and feeling totally overwhelmed…….and did I mention my husband…..too tired for intimacy…he must feel like we are just room mates!

  Life is not all gloomy…..my dogs give me great pleasure and my changed relationship with my father is a delight and I am basically a Pollyanna type, but I feel hollowed out.

• 33 Marcia Jan 11, 2010

  Retreat. When I look up the word, every definition feels like it was written with my spirit in mind; the nouns and the verbs! I can’t tell you how much my self has thought “I just need some space!”lately. I am a high school art teacher and have been for 31 years. (yes, I was only 12 when I started teaching!) Most people think “…piece of cake! …teachers only work 9 months of the year. ..how hard can it be to have your summers off? “, etc. Spending my career living amongst teenagers has kept me young(ish) but it has also taken its toll on my psyche. I could really use some time to communicate with my adult mind and other fully developed frontal cortices. Every night I try to clear my mind by reading inspirational literature and self-help prose before I fall asleep. Most nights I have to reread the first few lines to shut out the day and by then I am reading through my eyelids. If I don’t get to sleep by 10 p.m., I find it hard to wake up at 5:00 to be at school at 6:00 to start teaching at 7:00! Giving ideas and creative energy to 150 sullen high school students everyday mostly drains my ideas and own well of inspiration. In case you are not aware, today’s teenagers have no imagination, have no creativity and have mostly video games in their mind’s eyes. It is hard work to get them to think beyond their cell phones. I would relish the chance to retreat to my house to retreat with you. I will light a candle!

• 34 Chris S. Jan 11, 2010

  I don’t envy you reading the posts from all these worthy women and making a decision, Jen!

  All I’ll say is thanks for consistently offering opportunities like this (!). As a writer/teacher/mentor and program director for my state’s arts council (where I manage a large roster of artists), I realized that this year I need to PAUSE/STOP helping everyone else realize their dreams and focus on my own and develop a better creative practice or I’m going to wake up in 20 years and not have reached several important goals.

  I love helping other people, but I’ve been scraping the bottom of the well for quite a while. Whenever I think about it I turn into one big, sad ache. Like I’ve lost my imaginary friend. In a way, I have.

  I feel a giant push to be creative, but when I sit down to do anything I’m either paralyzed or looking for any distraction (excuse) to go do something else. I think I might be afraid of my own creativity – that it’s either gone, or less than it was, or maybe even more powerful than I can handle. I would like to be swept away by it again. And then, when it’s time, bring that energy back to my clients, students, and artists.

  Looking back at times where I have gone on retreats or to conference, I found them truly ‘next-leaping’ events – where they propelled me to a new creative level.

  And, yes, I’m a furloughed employee who has lost a few thousand in her salary this year, so cost is absolutely an issue. I’m not the only one experiencing that, of course. I think the government owes us all retreats at this point!

• 35 Val Durfee Jan 11, 2010

  My story doesn’t sound a lot different than those above. I spent 18 years with a man I thought was going to be the one who I would grow old and die with only to find that when things got tough he was unable to emotionally support me. I’ve been the donkey that has borne the emotional burden of my family for the last decade.

  In that decade I have buried both of my parents, had a hysterectomy, gone back to school, and realized that I have given up everything I wanted to be and do. I need to reconnect with myself and go forward with finding some balance between what I need in an external sense (money, food, shelter) and what I need internally (love, satisfaction, balance).

  Thanks so much for what you do.

• 36 sarah Jan 11, 2010

  i need a retreat because this has been a really crappy 7 years. i have lost 12 family members in that time. 2 of which have been since september.

• 37 wendy Jan 11, 2010

  I need a retreat because it will give me some quiet time to find the command I’ve been looking for on my electronic calendar. You know the one: File>Insert>One Week/Month. If I could only find that command, I could get caught up! (Yes, I know I’m dreaming to think I could get caught up with stuff since 1990 with just that one command.) I think it would be really great to bring my friend with me (she’s looking for that extra time, too), and if I won, we could each enjoy a bargain! And the prize nano sounds like a pretty dang big deal. Thanks for all the Comfort Queen moments. I save them in my email. When “mandatory” meetings get double-booked and what I really want to do is have a tantrum, I reach for one of those, at random, and they always help. Jen, it’s like having CQ on my shoulder. aaaahhhhh….

• 38 Susan Jan 11, 2010

  I actually would like to see the friend I share studio space with win this retreat….she REALLY needs it. Her house caught on fire last July. The fire dept. got there before it was really bad, but the smoke damage was so extensive…it may have been better if it burnt to the ground. I cannot even begin to explain the horror, stress and turmoil she has/is going through. This house was built in the late 19th century, and is a beauty. She had just said to me a week before the fire, that she considered herself a “care-taker” not an owner of this home.
  I can’t think of a better “pampering” for her.
  Thanks for this opportunity!

• 39 Lori Jan 11, 2010

  I want a retreat to get ready for a year of change ahead. DH and I will likely be selling the inn which we purchased 3 years ago and moving into the next adventure, perhaps in Europe. I want to take some time to get reacquainted with me, before the busy-ness of life takes over.

• 40 Melinda Jan 11, 2010

  I would have possibly done a short video for those extra brownie points, but I do not want to be on camera. I currently sit here writing this with the hood to my jacket tied tightly at my chin. I have not washed my hair in a week, and I feel really gross. Each evening I take a dip in the hot tub for a bath. Still gross. Our well pipe burst last week, and there was a delay in the repair. Today (hurray, hurray!!!) the pipe is repaired, and I will get to take a shower tonight.

  And so I digressed into an example of daily discomfort that crosses our lives – all of us. Sometimes it is huge, like a death. Sometimes it is quite small, like a very limited amount of water for a week. It isn’t necessarily always about the discomforts, though. Often, it is all about how difficult it is to step away from them.

  Sometimes I feel like I assume them, as though they are a part of me reflected back. I wish to relax that twisted and distorted image and to grab some clarity and calm. Over the years all of these bits and pieces have stolen a part of me that I wish to reclaim and enjoy. The long, slow sigh of retreat would be healing and rejuvenating.

  Thank you for your uplifting blogs. They have put a positive light on things and a smile on my face. I think they are similar to mini-retreats – the five to ten minute kinda things that put stuff in perspective. I am good with these; because I have read others’ comments, and I feel that they are in greater need than myself. I will use the blogs and your book to create one for myself, because it is long overdue.

• 41 christy Jan 11, 2010

  It’s been more than a decade since I’ve made the time and space for a retreat.

  I’d like to blame it on lack of funds, lack of time, lack of freedom, but let’s face it … we all make time for the things we really *must* do, and I have not done this for myself.

  That said, the desire has always been there. I believe I’m one of the many who suffer from “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

  I think I need some external stimulus to actually give myself permission to make the time for a retreat. And honestly, winning the work you’d put into the iPod or the retreat itself is that sort of stimulus for me. You know, rational people and Jewish mothers call it “guilt.”

  But it’s more than that. Simple guilt is easily eschewed. Gifts are to be cherished, and what you are offering is a large gift. (Thank you for the offer.)

  I would be honored to be chosen. And I would use it. I would honor the work you extend to share yourself through this “prize.”

  Thank you kindly for your consideration.

  Also … “bated breath” … comes from the word “bate” which means, “to moderate, restrain.” It came into use in the 20th Century. So there’s your word trivia for today.

  christy

• 42 Sarah Jan 11, 2010

  Oh, do I need a retreat? Who knows? I’m kind of afraid of one — because if I weren’t afraid of doing the thing, I’d be doing it already, right? And so taking steps towards doing it (also known as “self-care” or “doing my practice” or a gajillion other things) is clearly also scary. I could keep hiding under the bed, you know!

  Also (file under “awkward”), I am not in a relationship for the first time in, oh, six years on Valentine’s Day — does that make it a good or a bad weekend to retreat? Yikes!

  Anyway. I am retreat-conflicted! But if a retreat falls from the sky, then it’s totally not my fault! So I’m commenting anyway

  P.S. I’ve enjoyed reading all of the different things that the idea of retreating brings up for everyone. You’re all brave!

• 43 Betty Doty Jan 11, 2010

  I am 60 years old and have read everything you’ve written and discussed. I love you and you’re work! I’ve never had the opportunity to go on a retreat but my sister has been on several different ones, and she always came back so refreshed–just a new person. I’ve always thought it would be great fun to meet other people with similar interests. I’ve recently moved with my husband to FL and still miss my girlfriends, friends, and 1/2 of my family VERY much. Haven’t had that real connection here yet, thought a retreat just might hit the spot. Thanks for this opportunity!

• 44 Shannon Jan 11, 2010

  I have been planning my own retreat since I returned from vacation the summer before last…it includes unplugged time at a state park lodge but I haven’t scheduled the time nor have I finalized my plan. I need a nudge for both.

• 45 Stephanie Jan 11, 2010

  How much do I need a retreat? Well I’m an aspiring writer that had a baby 4 months ago and I feel that my dreams are the furthest from my reach that they have ever been. Here is a short scribbled entry from my journal that I’ve begun to refer to as ‘Memoirs of a New Mom.’

  I finally understand the world of which my best friend Naomi spoke. I call it a world because indeed there was a time when we both felt that despite our years of closeness we were truly worlds apart. The canyon, or black hole rather, that existed between our worlds at one time seemed so immense and impossible to cross turned out was so easily crossed that I instantaneously found myself transported. Interesting how I never even noticed that I had gone anywhere at all.

  And now the journey has just begun. I am a new mom. At times I feel so overwhelmed with the madness of this nonsensical pattern that I seem to be following. Or am I dragged along it? I cannot tell. I haven’t slept a solid night since I was 6 months pregnant and getting up to pee every five minutes! There are a few constants that I can count on these days. One, that when I have just figured things out with my dearest baby girl she will immediately change her habits and I will be left feeling about in the dark again for the next few weeks. Two, in a mater of 5 or less minutes after setting myself to a task that holds some sort of value to me i.e. eating, bathing, reading, or my most cherished of all tasks writing my little one will wake from her short lived nap or drop the toy she had been focused on and scream for my attention when she was just content as a bumblebee in field of May flowers.

  ………..

  I think this is a good idea that can be developed and understood by the elite group of Moms all over the world, one to add to the stack of ideas I have for stories, but will I ever be able to get past these two paragraphs? If I do it will be at the cost of my husband’s sanity, who lacks the confidence to care for our little cheeky monkey when she freaks out. These few lines above I wrote while siting at the little coffee stand at our local grocery store 3 days ago when I had my first 30 minute break in two months. Of course I had to beg and plead for those 30 minutes because hubby is exaughisted when he comes home from work.

  Get away for a retreat? Not a chance, though my sister-in-law has agreed that I’m way past due for one. The other day I had a meltdown amidst the continuing battle to convince my 4 month old that she really needs to start taking naps in her crib, naps that last longer than 5 minutes that is, and I realized that I may not get the chance to chase my dreams of being a writer for a very long time if I continue in this pattern. And suddenly a wave of self-anger rushed over me as I kicked myself for not doing more in my 28 years prior to mommy-hood. Of course my husband jolted me back to sanity when he asked if I “didn’t want to be a mom anymore.” And of course I do, I cherish being a mom more than anything else and of course I don’t mind writing or studying in 15 minute intervals for then next however long it will be. I am right where I want to be and the universe is patient with me, as I will learn to be with myself and my little girl with each day that goes by.

  So of course I feel I would be blessed beyond measure to win first place and be able to listen to the retreat when little Charlotte permits and maybe I will find some nuggets in the retreats that will help me not merely hang on to sanity by a thread but maybe thrive wholeheartedly in the thick of life’s greatest, and dare I say most challenging, moments.

  In any event my time has run out and it’s back to the world of Mom.

  Thanks for reading my ramblings!

  Steph

• 46 Griffin Jan 11, 2010

  Oh, do I need a retreat. Because I feel like I’ll scream if anybody puts one more item on my to-do list. And the stuff I want on that list, never makes it the top, but is always crowded out by other people’s needs. I need a retreat because I need to figure out how to change things, and to gather some energy to make changes, but I can’t while I’m in the middle of it. And I feel lonely, not so much for other people, but I miss myself.

• 47 Teri Jan 11, 2010

  This is difficult, because I have read the others, and they too, are suffering. I just want to live again, be happy, and encourage others. There has been too much, just too much to write or talk about. I know that I am blessed to be a child of God, but I can’t find my footing. I was searching one night and found your link, it was like a lifeline and I sent it to others to help them. Thanks for offering and I would be grateful for the open door back to myself.

• 48 Deborah Jan 11, 2010

  I don’t know if I need a retreat, or my family needs a retreat from me. All I know is, I need to figure it out, before my family divorces me.

• 49 Lisa Jan 11, 2010

  Where to start…the events of my 2009 could fill a book. A natural “nurturer”, I have always had to focus on self-care, making a special effort to build in mini-retreats regularly.
  In 2009, though, I found I had to dip into the reserve just to keep up. To minimize the whining , here’s the highlights:
  * January: my boss in the non-profit I worked for went under investigation for embezzlement.
  * February: my boss was fired; my uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer.
  *March-May: A new boss in place, it grew increasingly clear that budget cuts would eventually end my job. Silly me – I successfully wrote grants to keep everybody but myself employed.
  June: My father passed away unexpectedly three days before Father’s Day. A week later, my husband lost his job.
  July: My father’s only remaining brother passed away.
  September: I lost my job while my husband remained unemployed.
  October: My husband and I both found new jobs – Yeah! – but too late for that much-needed vacation.
  November: My mother-in-law fell and broke her hip. It was her third hospitalization in a year.
  December: My husband and I continued to support our mother’s as best we could. It was hard – we couldn’t honestly say we understood what they were going through. One was experiencing the first Christmas in 44 years without her life partner, the other was held captive in a nursing home for physical therapy.

  So many emotions, so many challenges. When I’ve managed “retreat time,” I’ve often found myself sleeping or just staring into the distance.

  Saying no is so difficult, especially when those counting on you are struggling with such life-altering events.

  Knowing that so much is beyond my control, I only made two resolutions this year: 1) return to my routine of self-care 2) return to my writing. I’m facing 2010 with hope knowing that healing occurs and strength rebounds if we open ourselves up to the experience.

• 50 Diva Jan 11, 2010

  Why I need a retreat -
  13 months ago my husband was diagnosed as bipolar. One month later my brother, who’s house we live in, was let go from his job. 10 months ago I got abstinent in Overeaters Anonymous. I have lost 70 lbs and am working on my 4th step. It is the first time in my adult life I have been this size. I still have a long way to go one day at a time. I could definitely use some me time.

• 51 Claudia Blacklock-Yoder Jan 11, 2010

  Dear Jen,
  I saw your site after my husband sent me the clip from Micheal Neill. In the last twelve months my daughter, who is 29 was ask for a divorce, via email from Iraq, which devistated her and I had to be there for her running back and forth from Ft. Worth to Ft. Hood TX. Moving her here in several trips while she was still falling apart. Taking care of my ten year old grandson all summer and dealing with temper tantrums because he doesn’t understand. Then placing my mom in a nursing home 25 miles from me and dealing with an abusive staff and dealing with the state for several months, which finally ment finding her a place of her own in the town my sister and I live in. One week after moving her into her own place my father has a stroke(just a small one) but the battle begins with a dirty IV that sent him to 4 different hospitals and over a million dollars in bills and fianlly lost him on Nov. 16,09. He was in the hospital for nine weeks and we were there everyday. Burried the Monday before Thanksgiving. Then having to deal with a broken hearted Mother also. Cleaning out the house they had shared for a very long time and with every item moved or touched a story came with it. Some good memories but mostly bad my father was a horrible father and a very abusive one to all three of us. Everyday is a fight for me personally,I have fibromyasia, and am on Disability. I pray everyday to wake up the next morning asking just give me one good morning. So through all the new responsiblity’s I have asumed I never have time for myself. I am in a loving relationship with my husband, and if it were not for him making me take a breath ever now and then and wiping my tears I don’t know what I would do. I have my daughter, grandson, mother, sister, step daughter, and my Dad even from the grave demanding my time. I love all of them but I am always picking up the pieces. Plus keeping this house running. I went on a church retreat several years ago came back refreshed. As much as I would like to win this I would be afraid of what I would have to come home to. But I’m willing to take that chance. I didn’t have time to read any of the other letters, just a whim after seeing this. But all is true and if I had more time there is more but not enough time to write it down, supper and homework arn’t going to get done sitting here. God Bless ClaudiaBlacklock-Yoder

• 52 Sally Jan 11, 2010

  First, bated breath from Dictionary.com:

  Main Entry: bated breath
  Part of Speech: n
  Definition: the condition of waiting for something to happen; subdued breathing due to high emotions

  Etymology: 1933; based on bate meaning ‘to moderate, restrain’

  It means to be so excited that you hardly dare breathe!

  That’s exactly how I feel about retreats – and I need one so I can start breathing again. Why am I not breathing? Because in 2009 I nearly lost my child, my 17-year old companion kitty died last week and now I am completely alone, and I’m working FIVE part-time jobs and running a business which adds up to about 3 full-time jobs. (Most days.)
  Did I mention my mom has Alzheimers?

  Nuff said.

• 53 Carrie Jan 11, 2010

  I need a retreat in 2010, because I need to heal mentally… so I can heal physically.

  I am 37 and because of a number of complications, have had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for almost 8 years. During those years, I went to lots of doctors and alternative practitioners, to no avail… all along staying optimistic and hopeful. I then found a fantastic physician who began identifying lots of “puzzle pieces”, and started me on lots of various treatments (both traditional and “alternative”)… most of which I am still following exactly as directed right now. Then in 2009, I contracted Lyme & subsequent allergic reaction to the antibiotic treatment, which pushed my overall recovery back a whole year more.

  Now I want you to know, that I am not giving you all of these details because I am looking for pity, but rather, to give a little background in explaining why… for the first time, during all these years… I began to lose hope. It’s hard when your head and heart desire so much that your body won’t cooperate with. It’s also just as frustrating to know that you WILL get better someday, you just need to continue to be patient… over and over again.

  So again, I need a retreat in 2010, because I’m ready and willing to heal both mentally AND physically, dang it! And I would love if you would help me please.

  P.S. It was so cathartic just to write this post, and send it out to the universe, that even if I don’t win… you’ve given me a little extra strength. Thank you Jennifer Louden… yet again. : )

• 54 Wulfie Jan 11, 2010

  Hi, thanks for this opportunity cause…WOW!

  I’ve never been to a retreat. I went to a weekend seminar once as a work study participant. It was supposed to be a retreat but I worked so much that I didn’t get the treat part. It’s alright though, the moon and a white owl spoke to me in a dream warning me of a problem. I woke up and they were right so THAT was awesome.

  Anyways, the reason I’m trying for the retreat is I just recently discovered that my soul is inside of me instead of somewhere…’out there’. I guess that sounds pretty stupid but it’s true. I’m not sure what that truly means or who I am, why it matters and why it changes everything I ever thought I knew or believed, or even what I want anymore – maybe because it did change everything so now I’m kind of lost. So I thought maybe the retreat would help me to discover the answer to those and many other questions in an experiential way. I like that idea because I have plenty of stuff in my head; it’s my heart that needs awakening and this might be just the magic that’ll do that!

  Anyways, thanks for the chance. That’s really cool of you.

• 55 adriana Jan 11, 2010

  Love retreats, the wisdom gleaned benefit the attendee long after the event.
  Why I can’t this time? My husband is ill, our grandson is 7 and staying with us while our dd and dsil are looking for employment, and I am the only one who is able to hold down the fort. However, I would love the opportunity to obtain the information shared.

• 56 Shawna Jan 11, 2010

  I have never been to a retreat (virtually or otherwise), and have always wanted to. I am starting 2010 feeling incredibly lost and scared. My husband and I both lost our jobs in November. He suffers from multiple health conditions and needs his medications to function, and we will lose our health coverage in a few months. 2009 was a cruel year for so many people. We were saving up for our first house and to start a family, and I just don’t see that happening for a long time. He is set in his career, but I desparately want a different line of work….I just don’t know what or how. A retreat could ask the right questions that require me to find the right answers for my life.

• 57 Gail Jan 11, 2010

  Retreat. Oh, what gift you are giving my friend. What an opportunity to simply breathe . . and breathe again. Now that’s nice.

  You know, when I first watched the video all I could think was, “Oh my gosh, Jen can see what a total stressed out mess my life / business / life has become, and she’s here to rescue me. Has she been sitting in the corner watching me? Where are you hiding, Jen?”.

  Retreat. Wow! The word even feels delightful just rolling it around on my tongue. The thought of it softens my stiff back just a little. I can’t imagine giving myself permission for such a thing. But I would surely like to try. I’m exhausted, and accomplishing very little as a result – which exhausts me even more. I know better, but knowing doesn’t necessarily change anything.

  I used to think I had such amazing ideas, and that my business and my writing were just going to take off and soar. Numerous internet marketing gurus and costly marketing programs later, I still want to believe. The thing is: Money’s gotten tight, and I’ve gotten scared. I don’t know how to work for anyone else, and I don’t want to. Yet I don’t know how much longer I can keep going without something more. I blog. I dance around on twitter and facebook. I rewrite my web copy. I revise old freebies, and plot out new ones. I pray a lot.

  Retreat. Maybe I should sound one rather than trying to imagine one. But just the thought of a whole group of amazing women wanting to give me hope . . I think I’ll keep imagining.

  Retreat. Oh, how I’d love to treat myself to this.

  Thanks for giving me the opportunity Jen – gail

• 58 Lyda Jan 11, 2010

  I really need a retreat. On January 1st, I celebrated my 50th birthday by moving because I was evicted. I had to give up my kittens (thankfully I found them loving homes) and my 18-year-old son had to go to live with his father. My finances are a mess, and I have fibromyalgia, and all the stress has played hob with my eating and sleeping patterns. I am grateful that two dear friends invited me to live with them in their lovely condo and I hope to get my life in balance. I have to get through all the things I put in storage (had to move in a hurry) and release and let go of most of them because there is not room. And because I want there to be room for ME.

  I am a writer and an artist and a photographer and so many things – who works at a job way below my skills, education, and abilities, because I’m afraid to be the big wonderful being I know is inside. I know she’s there; I’ve met her in meditation and on the two retreats I took years ago. I see glimpses of her in my writing, in my art, in my friends’ faces when I talk about my passions.

  I don’t know what direction I should go or what I should do with the freedom that has been thrust upon me – due to things that I’m blaming and shaming myself for. The chaos of my life overwhelms me.

  And with all of this, there is a small quiet voice within that is trying to tell me important things. I need a retreat so I can listen to that voice. So I can reconnect with myself. So I can look forward into my future and see it for the wonderful fresh surprising and safe place it is. So I can take the first step on this new path.

• 59 Melanie Jan 11, 2010

  Why do I need a retreat?

  Well. Because I need to be smote by chance. Otherwise I come up with excuses not to do it.

  I wasn’t even going to enter the contest. If I entered, there’s the remotest chance I could win. Then what would I do with my excuses?

  Then I realized I was feeling terrible. Feeling like I needed a retreat. My energy is low, and I want to just curl up in bed.

  Instead I’m facing deadlines this week for 4 big things I’ve never done before:

  - first paid trade magazine article and images.
  - leading my first 1/2 day workshop
  - leading a team of executives through the results of the biggest project I’ve ever done
  - being a guest expert for a TV show

  These were all fun, exciting projects until I got tired and the deadlines ended up all being in the same week!

  Not to mention the fear and self-doubt that crept up and bit me in the butt! I am a single parent of 4 kids. Who I am to try to do these things? Maybe I can’t do it all?

  I need a retreat to get back to myself and re-charge my batteries.

  Thanks for all you do, Jen!

  (Some of the previous posters sure deserve to win this contest!

  And what a sneaky contest! For all of us that don’t win, we’ve just written great reasons for why we need to attend anyway! Tricky, tricky! lol)

• 60 Jennifer Jan 11, 2010

  I want to take each and every one of you with me to the most wondrous warm resort I can find with white sand beaches and a cabana boy per person (lots of warm coconut oil, too) and nurture and love and inspire your mo-jo back. I so wish I could give each of you a free seat. I’m thinking I have to do some kind of free call or gift to you. I believe so in the healing power of retreats and want you all to have it. Thank you thank you for sharing your stories. I will dedicate my practices to you this week.

• 61 Kathy A. Jan 11, 2010

  I feel wrung out. My elderly parents (divorced, living with new spouses) are each 300 miles away and I’ve been their “first responder” for several years.

  My mom was diagnosed with early Alzheimer’s disease last year and, although she’s still living at home with her aged husband, will not accept any help from outsiders and is getting worse.

  I have put nearly 100,000 miles on my car in the last two years driving back and forth from their respective houses.

  I’ve been to many retreats – music, women’s, silent…I gained peace and insight from each one. I also came away feeling renewed. I had the time to attend, something I have very little of right now.

  That’s what I’m hoping to gain with the upcoming virtual retreat – a renewal of my energy and refilling of my deep well.

• 62 Elizabeth Jan 11, 2010

  Sigh. Inhaling, holding, exhaling. Seems kind of hard to do right now.

  I am lucky enough to currently hold a job. With a future. And really cool opportunities. Decisions I get to make. Did I mention really cool opportunities?

  I should be thrilled. Except I feel sick with fear. I taste the sour taste of bone in my mouth- I must be grinding my teeth again.

  I feel paralyzed. I know that this is a time of separating the wheat from the chaff, of burning the dross from the gold. I can only focus on the physical beating and intense heat.

  Historically, in situations like this, I have risen to the challenge and become amazing later. I just don’t remember making myself physically sick with fear. Please, pray for me.

• 63 PJammy Jan 11, 2010

  I absolutely hate it when people act like a victim, hoping it will get them something. And because I try very hard not to be a hypocrite, I will not play the victim here in this oh! so public posting of why I need a retreat.

  I do, though, need a retreat. I know 2009 sucked for a lot of people, and it totally sucked for me as well. 2008 wasn’t any better. Let’s just say that I endured two lay-offs, the death of my mom, and the end of an 11-year old relationship, not to mention the loss of a friend I’d had for over 20 years.

  I don’t say this so you’ll feel sorry for me. I say this because if this last year taught me anything, it taught me that it’s time to take stock and check-in. Where am I now? Where do I need to go? What do I need to do to get there?

  I’ve spent so much time and energy on surviving – well, I’ve survived. I just started a new job, after a year of unemployment. It feels as if I’m getting some movement. So, now that I’m moving, I need to guide the movement. Encourage it. Tease it. Play with it.

  While a retreat would have been nice last year, it wouldn’t have been productive. I think now, in a time of movement, is when it would be beneficial. Helpful. Motivating. Invigorating.

  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

• 64 Michaele Jan 11, 2010

  I NEED A RETREAT BECAUSE…

  The last time I had a non-interrupted continuous verbalized thought before 10 or 11pm (by which time I am pretty blithering anyway) was four or five years ago. Because I have heroically managed not to admonish an enthusiastic plastic toy horse held by a small child that followed me around for thirty minutes with a continual stream of story dialogue (in which I was involved) while I frantically prepared for something (under deadline) that had nothing to do with the evolving subject matter at hand. Because I prepare three separate meals at dinner whether consumed or not. I rise to the dulcet tones of my daughter’s voice despite the hour (“Mommy, Daddy, is it morning yet?” “It’s 4am honey the sun is still asleep” “I’m not sleepy. I’m ready to get up for the morning!! Can you play with me?”). I have completed every foamies project sold by Michael’s Arts and crafts. I have carried the remains of deceased rodents, birds and lizards to the trash without wishing ill to their presenters despite a sand coloured carpet. I have not participated in the decapitation of relatives in light of decades of alternative commentary on my decisions. I have found my spouse irresistible even in the presence of occasional odiferous emanations. The last time I took a bath was in July. The last time I took a shower longer than six minutes was, well, I no longer remember. And my husband has the Ipod. I could use a nano (second) for myself.

  The reason I DON’T need a retreat is because the last time I had a non-interrupted continuous verbalized thought was years ago. Because I have managed not to admonish enthusiastic plastic toys while preparing for deadlines and making separate meals at dinner, rising to the dulcet tones of my daughter’s voice despite the hour, completing every foamies project, carrying out the remains of deceased critters without wishing ill to anyone, not decapitating relatives, finding my spouse irresistible at all times (easy), pretty much given up taking baths and having six minute showers instead and sharing my husband’s Ipod when I can. BECAUSE in every moment I do those things I remember how very blessed I am.
  I could still use a nano (second) for myself though.

  Much gratitude, ~ Michaele

• 65 Molly Brown Jan 11, 2010

  Hi Jennifer,
  I’m so glad you did this, thank you!! I don’t know where to start so here goes: I never take time for myself. I dream of days to meditate and do yoga or just use the bathroom alone. I am in school to be a Nurse Practitioner, I work full time, take call one day a week and one weekend a month, I cook supper every night (almost), have 2 little boys (4 years, 18 months). I think I have to be super woman/mom. I spent my holiday break cleaning house, doing all the things that didn’t get done this semester, and cooking for 2 families. I love my family and want to be the best at being a mother, wife, nurse, and all those other hats I wear. I have several of your books and just have trouble finding time to do anything for myself. I desperately need a break and will probably not get one unless I’m forced to. Ha…please help!!

• 66 Natanya Jan 11, 2010

  Oh Jen! Thank you for the opportunity to speak my truth! It’s simple, really… This year, 2010, is my year…yep…my flippen’ year…to be myself…to be who I am in every moment…with every breath. me. be me. Without the stories, without the fears that hold me captive to a shell of who I really am. Enough of the partially lived, shallow breath, numbed out, clenched insides, overbearing mean mindedness. I’m so done with all that. I’m ready for spring, for love, for breathing, for life. I’m ready for retreat. Oh…I so deserve to luxuriate in the glory of my own little piece of heaven. Right here, right now. Right for me. It’s my year and I’m so bleeping grateful.

• 67 Shayla Jan 12, 2010

  Hi Jen,

  I need a retreat to live vibrantly. Here’s a link to a post I wrote about retreating and your book.

  http://www.comfortqueen.com/mailmachine/clink_track.php?cust_id=13234&link_id=107

• 68 Jennifer Dempsey Jan 12, 2010

  May we enter on another’s behalf? I have a wonderful friend who is a single mom and is doing all the right things to care for herself and her children. Her finances are extremely limited yet she always maintains a positive attitude and still finds ways to create special moments and memories for her children. She has done much soul-searching since leaving her husband and I know she would welcome the opportunity to go deeper and learn more.

  Many thanks!
  Jennifer

• 69 Diane MacDonald Jan 12, 2010

  I need this retreat because I am a caregiver for my mother and am burning out. I need something to refresh and renew me so I can come out of this depression that I think I am going into. I believe this retreat would highly benefit me and put me back on track.

  Thanks
  Diane

• 70 lise Jan 12, 2010

  May all of you be blessed. So many of us are wanting to get away. Reading some of your e-mails, I am thinking to myself that we are all in the same thought process which is fast and with a brain that is combusted with challenges of life. Knowing that I am not alone with my fears and feelings! At this moment, I will let all these people along with myself feel that wonderful world of retreat along with quietness by closing my eyes and then put a smile on my face and continue on my way. To the comfort queen, I say that you may have quite a challenge and may you be blessed.

• 71 Kelly Jan 12, 2010

  I have never been to a retreat, but life is sure rough these days. I have had about all the adversity I can bear. I could sure use a Calgon day!

• 72 Katrina Jan 12, 2010

  I need a retreat because:

  a.) I’ve never been on one.
  b.) I am starting to feel better after 9 months off of work, dealing with my Psoriatic Arthritis.
  c.) I have 4 writing projects and a bunch of art to make and would love to devote a chunk of time to those things.
  d.) I try to be generous and kind> Karma rules!
  e.) I’ve always worked in service professions that help others-counseling, teaching, supervising children. It’s time to take care of me.
  Thanks for creating this contest.

• 73 Helena Jan 12, 2010

  Hello

  I really excited about doing a virtual retreat. I love retreats and what they usually represent. But to stay at home on the couch with the comforts of home is awsome.
  Thanks for the invite.

  Helena

• 74 Elle Jan 12, 2010

  I’m a single Mom working two jobs. My life is constantly on the go and both jobs are very demanding. Constant phone calls and emails going to my Blackberry. Some days I just want to throw it out the window! I spend an hour at home in the morning and about 3 waking hours with my son at night. I need a vacation, but haven’t been able to go in 5 years. I keep planning but taking time off work, my son, and having the funds, is nearly impossible…. but I guess its ok to dream about one.

  I’ve been feeling overly stressed lately. I fear that i’m showing signs of clinical depression. I can’t seem to find the motivation, enthusiasm and happiness I used to feel.

  I tried digging up some self-help books, and finding things to cheer myself up in hopes that it will work. I incorporated Yoga, watching Friends re-runs, reading, meditating into my day to hopefully help my mood. I even tried a spa retreat, I love the spa and that usually is my little retrea. It turned out being costly and disappointing with the lack of service I got. Then I came across the Life Organizer which I purchased almost a year ago when I was in Ottawa. I came accross this website and signed up for the self-care minders. When the email about the retreat came in my inbox I so excited to sign up! But when I looked at my account and realized I couldn’t afford it, I kept on hoping I can still sign up and somehow find the money to sign up.

  I need this retreat as my virtual vacation. I think this is the perfect solution to help me in all areas that I need help in. After retreating, I know I will feel healed, inspired and rejuvinated!

• 75 Margie Jan 12, 2010

  Retreat? How can I retreat? If I do, something might happen…something BAD…will I lose my job? will I not be as valuable? will I have to face things I don’t want to acknowledge? I have too many balls in the air. I work from seven to six most days, eating lunch at my desk. I’m about to have a midyear review where about 15% of this year’s requirements have been completed…and only 5.5 months left to complete the other 85%! I feel like I dither along on “urgent” projects that matter “in the moment” while letting the important stuff slide. I’m not even sure what the important stuff is anymore – it’s a moving target. I get home at night to six little beasties (literally) and my husband, but I’m too tired to do any of the healthful resolutions/intentions I’ve made this year, things like lose 20 lbs (from the 70 I’ve accumulated), be moderately active 30 minutes a day, spend less, get out of debt, and eat/act healthy and not emotionally (just thinking of my schedule or work challenges makes me want to chew on something – maybe a piece of leather instead?). Frankly, I’ve gotten to the point of forgetting what I really want and what truly makes me happy. I need some perspective…as soon as I’m done with this, and this, and that….you get the picture ;p) (and thanks for letting me unload for a moment.)

• 76 Donna Jan 12, 2010

  I would like to retreat but can’t seem to find myself. I think I may be lost under stacks of unfinished to do lists and piles of worry about not living up to others expectations of what my life should be. It would be nice to find ME again because if I remember correctly I was a pretty fun loving person who used to really enjoy just about everything. It would be nice to reconnect.

• 77 Ginger Jan 12, 2010

  Dear Jen 11 January 2010

  Smite Me!
  I am tired of feeling invisible in my own life. When most of the people around me purport to know what I like better than I do myself, and my own input on the subject is brushed aside, I know that I need to stand up and fight for my right to Be. I need to develop the skills necessary to lovingly encourage and empower (or require) those around me to become more self-sufficient and not rely on their expectation that I will take care of it all, just because I always have. The spark of my creativity is so subdued by the mundane activities of daily life that I fear, if I don’t start igniting my passions, it may go out. In short, I need to shake things up without razing my life.

  I am self-aware enough to know that I am allowing these things to happen in my life. I take full responsibility for my part in creating the walls and chains of my own cage. I (let myself) get trapped by my rationalizations, excuses, distractions, and just plain dysfunctional patterns of response. I am tormented by the ebb and flow and tension between what I think I would love to do ‘if I only had time’ vs. what I ‘should do’ (if I had time) and the guilt/disappointment associated with what I actually do with my time. This is not who I have always been, and not who I want to be now. I built these walls; I would like to believe I can bring them down, now that they no longer serve me.

  I loved this idea that you wrote: “I want to slay the dragons of the gates of deeper work. Or seduce them. Or hire them to help me.” I want to discover how to seduce my daemons, or employ them, or both, whatever it takes. I am doing the Work on my beliefs and behaviors, which I see as a foundational step, but not a substitute to actually taking action on my dreams. I envision your virtual retreat being a lush, fertile environment for nurturing my creative spark, learning new flourishing ‘tricks’ from other voyagers, or just affirming that I Am, and not alone in my journey to define mySelf.

  Peace and Care
  Ginger

• 78 Tweets that mention The BIG RETREAT Contest – How Much do *You* Need A Retreat? » Comfort Queen -- Topsy.com Jan 12, 2010

  [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jennifer Louden, Jennifer Louden, Jennifer Louden, Jennifer Louden, Jennifer Louden and others. Jennifer Louden said: Reading the contest entries (52 1st day) I so want to give everybody a seat at the Virtual Retreat! http://bit.ly/7vPWqh [...]

• 79 auntbot Jan 12, 2010

  It is minus 40 degrees today here in North Pole Alaska. ’nuff said.

• 80 Natalie The Tiny Soprano Jan 12, 2010

  Jen, I’m typing this with one hand while my two week old son is fast asleep nestled in my arms. I have had 9 hours sleep in the last three days and a newborn blog crying out for some love, having been (understandably) neglected since baby’s arrival. My two other children, 5 and 20 months, are doing their best to entertain themselves over the holidays as well as adapt to the new member of our family…

  I need this retreat so very much. As a way for me to navigate through the fog of sleeplessness and new year inertia and frustration at not being closer to like-minded people with who I can share my ideas and frustrations…

  This year I have so many things I want to achieve, and to create – I want to be able to give of myself more than I have ever done before…and the joy of being able to retreat in this way – with one hand! And not having to leave the house! Or the country!

  I hope there is a tiny diva-sized spot on this retreat for me – I really don’t take up too much space. And I will sing really loudly about it afterwards!

• 81 Monica Nowac Jan 12, 2010

  I am a stay at home mom to a lovely 9 month old. Having her has been the best thing that ever happened to me. However, I need a break sometimes and as a stay at home mom, there is no such thing. I am on the go nonstop and a retreat would make all the difference to me. I could take some time to myself and come back refreshed.

• 82 Pegg Jan 12, 2010

  I recently lost both parents, 10 months apart . One to cancer and one to Alzheimer’s. I helped care for them for 2 years before their passing. Now I am the executor and probating their estate without legal counsel. Working with a contractor getting the house ready to sell but had to clear out out all of their belongings and split everything equitably among 5 other siblings. Now a cousin my age has passed away and I drove here to St, Joseph Missouri from Erie, CO staying in a strange place dreading the funeral and having to drive an hour and a half to the burial.

  I don’t have a computer so don’t know how I could do a virtual retreat. I check my Email at my local library every 2 or 3 days. I would love to get away and sleep for days on end and not have to do anything for anyone. No agenda whatsoever! That would be ideal.

• 83 Wanda Schwandt Jan 12, 2010

  I’m just beginning a journey with you and am eager to delve further. One day at a time though. I am a pastor of a small congregation, about to be a grandmom for the first time, a wife and mother, and spiritual companion. I often feel overwhelmed by all the roles I must play and all the tasks that need to be done. I need to take time for me, to refresh my spirit, but I find myself filling my schedule and neglecting me. A retreat sounds like exactly what I need in order to keep serving God, my family, my congregation, and myself.

• 84 Deborah Guy, The Strokesmodel Jan 12, 2010

  In Grimm’s Fairy Tales, there is the story of The Brave Little Tailor,
  who killed “Seven at One Blow.” Although the vanquished foes were mere
  flies, the tailor’s faulty communication skills and his shameless
  self-promotion caused the townspeople to believe he had killed seven men
  with a single blow.

  It could have ended very badly for the tailor when his king then
  commanded him then to slay two giants. Fortunately, the tailor’s
  cleverness showed him a way to heve the giants fight and kill one
  another. The tailor’s reward was the hand in marriage of the king’s
  daughter.

  Last fall I was cast in my own personal iteration of this legend–a
  Grim, Scary Tale called “Seven at Once Blows!” In my story, I did
  battle with seven simultaneous medical dramas: pink eye, thyroid
  nodules, kidney stones, post-menopausal bleeding, and a knee sprain
  resulting in hematoma, bursitis and arthritis in the injured joint.

  My customary, all-purpose tool of choice, when faced with adversity, is
  humor. Laughter is like bubble-wrap–it cushions the rough blows of
  life and softens the hard landings.

  With so many crises unfolding at once, though, it became nearly
  impossible to find the funny in my situation. Even though none of my
  issues were immediately life-threatening, they were pesky, like so many
  flies– annoying, painful and costly in terms of time and co-insurance.

  On New Year’s Eve, I cut off the last of the hospital bracelets. I had
  been wearing that last one most of December as a talisman of protection
  from additional hospital visits. I’ve survived the valley of the
  shadow, the “Seven at Once Blows.” But at what cost? The balances in
  my leave accounts and discretionary spending accounts dwindled to nearly
  nothing. This at a time when I need these resources most to effect a
  retreat–to rest, recover and regroup.

  In this new year, I want to focus my energy on regaining a sense of
  “Radiance”– radiant life, radiant health, radiant spirit. I have some
  idea of the twin giants I may have yet to face to gain this
  reward–mindful diet and exercise, overcoming fear and
  procrastination–but have not yet devised a way to get them to fight one
  another.

  Past experience has taught me that retreats are an effective way to free
  oneself of the burdens of everyday life to focus on what truly matters.
  That is what is needed in my life now–a focus on what truly
  matters–recovering my health, my sense of humor and my joie de vivre.
  But lacking the leave time or the funds to manifest this in physical
  space, a virtual retreat would be the next best thing.

  (I’m scheduled for the mini-retreat in Loveland in May, but it’s a
  mighty lo-ooong time from now until then!)

  Thanks for listening, Jen.

  Deborah Guy
  The Strokesmodel
  Columbus, OH

• 85 Lisa Jan 12, 2010

  Oh, how I would love a retreat. Here is why..

  I have been boxed up “just being a mom” loving being a mom, adoring my children and doing everything to make their existence here on earth happy. But, an itchy burny discomfort has started to move into my space. That feeling of loosing myself, of being confused and disoriented about WHO I AM and WHAT DO I WANT out of this life of mine?! Lost. Slowly coming out and reconnecting to who I really am and what I really want. Getting back in touch with the things that make ME happy and feel powerful and peaceful and loved. But, the old habits of putting my needs last, of just focusing on my kids keep showing up. I love my kids so very, very much and I so want to be the most awesome woman I can be so that they know and see by watching me what it means to live an extraordinary life. So, yes, retreat. Some time, some space to let me be me and keep on getting back in touch with MY needs and wants and passions. So I can truly live. And that, I know, is the best gift I can give to my children.

• 86 Kate Jan 13, 2010

  As a mom of three daughters ages 11, 14, & 16 and a 9 year old special needs son I am constantly on the go. There is cheerleading, color guard, a minimum of 28 loads of laundry a week (yes I count), chess, soccer (3 seperate schedules), swimming, basketball, floor hockey, baseball, phychiatric appointments, therapy appointmnets, med checks, orthodontist, and all working around my husband’s 60 hour work week (we can only afford one car *see orthodontist*) and running my own business as a Professional Organizer.

  I am also active in our Church – I designed and maintain a website and serve on 2 boards..my husband serves on one.

  I try to spend as much time as I can with my parents. My dad has colon cancer and my mother is undergoing testing for lung cancer.

  In my *spare time* (giggle ~ snort) I am always there for my friends – day or night. Marital problems, step child issues..it’s all a common theme. (my two oldest are mine from a previous relationship)

  As soon as I read about your retreat – I wanted to sign up! I scoured our budget to find the extra money but after all the extra co-pays this month – there was no way. I need to focus on ME a little!

• 87 Toni Jan 13, 2010

  I’ve been on retreats. The last one I took was in 2001 and it was wonderful. I went to a cabin in the woods of Missouri, in July. This cabin had no electricity, an outhouse and a pump to get water from. There were canoes available and a ton of hummingbirds feeding at the feeder off the front porch. It was a writing retreat. I used the format from The Woman’s Retreat Book to guide me. I wrote at least one chapter of my novel but more importantly, I was able to relax. I did find it took about a day and a half to become comfortable being alone. It was a stupendous 4 day weekend which I would love to repeat. Since that time, I’ve gone back to work full time, both my mother and father have passed away and I’ve dealt with a six month separation from my husband. I could really use a retreat to quiet my mind and go within for a while.

• 88 Michelle Shopped Jan 13, 2010

  Jen–

  A therapist gave me your book over a decade ago when I was a struggling single mom. I’ve read so many needs here in the comments, many similar to reasons I would have given all those years ago about why I needed a retreat (and perhaps would give even now).

  I’ve always wanted to offer an affordable retreat for women and while the one I am offering in March may not be affordable for some, it may be for others. I would so love to offer a complimentary retreat to one woman, but in order to offer even one complimentary I need a minimum of 15 paid registrants to make this one a go…

  Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to win one of your fabulous prizes, but the biggest treat for me right now is to see Persephone Rising actually happen, and give birth to more future retreats that I can make more affordable to more women – here’s the website: http://bayendartretreats.squarespace.com/

  Thanks so much for this space to share!

  Patricia

• 89 Jeanne Jan 13, 2010

  Hello Jen.

  I can’t believe that I found this website today….on the other hand, of course I believe it….I know that the universe will always come through for me in ways that I could never imagine.

  I have always been an active, strong, creative, sharing, loving and spiritual person. Due to a botched surgery, I am in constant pain which saps all energy from my heart and soul.

  My home was robbed by the people that I let stay there (rent-free) while I went to live in another state as I could not live alone. My home owner’s insurance will not come close to paying all of the tools that I need to persue some of my art projects (stained glass panels and windows and silversmithing).

  I should mention that I also have a brain injury so I have deficits in problem solving, memory, attention, comprehension, etc.

  I want to keep trying but I don’t know where to start. I am feeling so overwhelmed, disconnected and isolated that I can barely remeber who I am. I’ve always been resourceful but after so many losses combined with chronic pain I’m finding myself in a state where I want to curl up and sleep the rest of my life away. This is sooooo not me. Perhaps a Karmic kick in the — might help to jump start me.

  I know that there are so many others that have more serious problems so I’m just grateful for the opportunity to vent. Writing this little note is more than I’ve been able to do in quite some time.

  Thank you for being there.

• 90 Darlene Jan 13, 2010

  I NEED INSPIRATION ! I have been trying to get back into my own artwork and then my hubby was forced to retire last year. I had originally quit my therapist/counselor job to semi-retire. It took me a lot of time to be able to just sit and play with my art stuff again (and I’m an art therapist…go figure) and not feel guilty. I know it is my problem because my husband says “just do it” but it makes me feel selfish while he is trying to adjust to his new and not wanted daily life. So maybe, I think, this will help! A retreat ….ahhhhh….

• 91 Kelli Jan 13, 2010

  Why I need a retreat:
  I have spent the last 14 months planning my wedding. Within that time, I planned, participated in, and cleaned up for my sister’s wedding. Also, for the last 6 months, I’ve been living with my parents to save money for the wedding. I know I have my honeymoon planned – but I’m sure I’ll come back to the “real world” and be bombarded with work and a new house – and, wow…a husband. I’m thinking I might need a retreat just to prepare me for the road ahead.

  The gift of a seat in this retreat would be a treasure I would covet! Come one…give the bride a wedding gift she won’t forget!

• 92 Vicki Jan 13, 2010

  Hi Jennifer,
  I just had to make a slideshow (link below) for this and I wanted to share it with you and whoever else might enjoy watching.

  Last fall I was blessed to win a membership in the Comfort Cafe and it’s been AWESOME, so I wish to decline entering this contest so the love can be spread around.

  But I had to laugh at myself because I had been thinking a virtual retreat meant I got to do my work between listening to calls! Then I listened to your video up there and it dawned on me that retreat means getting away from work entirely – all day – just listening and retreating! What a concept!

  So I made this slideshow to bring some giggles to anyone else who may be similarly driven …
  http://www.slideshare.net/ArtistCoach/retreat-who-me

• 93 Danette Jan 13, 2010

  okay,here goes.
  I have high hopes for 2010. My motto is 2010 I will win! At what? Not sure…Yoga and quiet meditation to begin with, A serene and sexual vacation with hubby, a fun vacation with hubby and daughter, more time with friends, soul searching, cooking better meals, to read a good book in “my time”, and to think good thoughts because as I have learned “thoughts become things”! I love Jennifer ‘s books and website, I just do not have much time to read and soak it all in. A cubicle world customer service job that is 10-12 hrs a day does not leave much time. But I still keep searching, taking my deep breaths, and very late at night take a rest to soak in what I enjoy the most… a vision of a relaxing and fun somewhere, maybe get back my fun and spontaneous self and realize work is not!! everything, and the world is not over because I had a hysterectomy that set my world spinning for a couple of years. For me, It is mostly in my head and the horrible books I read in regards to “life after hysterectomy” or “Life after menopause”. Yuk!
  Thanks
  Thanks

• 94 Stephanie Jan 13, 2010

  I need retreats to remind me who I am.
  I need retreats to come home to myself.
  I need retreats to connect with the divine feminine.
  I need retreats to renew myself.
  I need retreats to connect with myself.
  I need retreats to connect with others.
  I need retreats to rest.
  I need retreats to be alone.
  I need retreats to find myself.
  I need retreats to honor myself.
  I need retreats to learn.
  I need retreats to dance.
  I need retreats to play.
  I need retreats to sing.
  I need retreats to laugh.
  I need retreats to cry.
  I need retreats to be myself.
  I need retreats to Be.

  And I have set my intention to teach what I know at retreats. And the Universe answered. I am doing one retreat at the end of February that is closed and one at the end of March that is open to all: A celebration of spring and the goddess on Cape Cod called Persephone Rising. Come retreat with us and celebrate the first week of spring! http://bayendartretreats.squarespace.com/

• 95 Nancy Jan 14, 2010

  Simple. To help unearth any answers to this question: What next?

• 96 Marcy Apple Jan 14, 2010

  I need a retreat to kick off my theme for 2010. I do not make New Years’s Reslutions but rather I develope a theme for the year. The past years my theme has been on business, connections, expanding. This year my theme is a quitier one. Focusing on my inner universe. A retreat would cement this theme for me and be a great kick off to a successful year. Now I just need a theme song1 Any suggestions?

• 97 Fern Jan 14, 2010

  Compared to the people of Haiti, I don’t need a retreat.

  That said ….

  I need a retreat because my landlord hasn’t paid the mortgage since April and the house we live in is in foreclosure. It might be auctioned off as soon as next Wednesday.

  We may have to move from Maryland to Oklahoma …

  Which would mean giving up the business we own and run

  And my husband taking a job with a company that is also in iffy financial shape and may close within 6 months itself.

  My son is in college, we aren’t quite sure how to pay for everything this semester …

  He commutes to college from home each day, so if we move to Oklahoma where will he live for the rest of the semester?

  My mother is 93, blind, deaf, and went into a nursing home last weekend. I don’t know where I’m going to live, but am now on file as being the one to tap to pay her bills.

  My Mother In Law is 90, rapidly going blind herself, and we’re not sure what’s going to happen there.

  I’m an only child.

  My husband is NOT an only child, but his only sibling has schizophrenia and won’t take her meds.

  We have two half cars. One car – a ’92 – with almost no transmission, and one car – a ’99 – that won’t run in the rain.

  Personal and business IRS trouble.

  High cholesterol. High Triglycerides. High weight.

  And yesterday I went to the Dr, for annual blood work/check up. He noticed that my blood pressure was high.

  Who’d have guessed?

• 98 Jennifer Jan 14, 2010

  I don’t think that I’m any different from any other multi-tasking, working mom out there–I think we all need a retreat.
  I want a retreat so I can be a more patient mom, creative cook, ambitious professional and interesting person. I need to rid myself of trivial frustrations, keep the goals I set and find the more positive side of everything.

• 99 Great Cause and a Great Offer | Michael Neill's Blog Jan 14, 2010

  [...] (or a nano with all the sessions on them!) by writing in and telling Jen why you need a retreat. Click here to learn more. Bookmark [...]

• 100 Zehavit Jan 14, 2010

  Hi

  I’m seating here in front of the screen… 1:30am (Israel time).
  Too tiered to go to sleep …

  So many ideas but no spark, no starter… feel that i lost it and don’t know how to restore it.
  (out of energy – like a flower that’s out of water)

  ….And there pops Michael Neill’s note on facebook – telling me about your retreat – encouraging me to go to your site and write why me…

  Well

  Think that we ALL need it.
  Hope that it will be me

  (sorry for my english mistakes ..)

  Yours
  Zehavit Goldi

• 101 Barbara Jan 14, 2010

  This certainly gives me the opportunity for thought, and for you to read those thoughts. The events my husband and I have undergone in the past year have brought me to my knees.

  In September of ’08 my husband had surgery for prostate cancer. In June of ’09 our oldest son was killed in an auto accident. The kid that hit him had been driving at speeds up to 100 miles an hour. Our entire extended family was gathering for a birthday party and as we were on our way we heard of the accident, but were told to go to our daughters house, not a hospital. That was one long, torturous hour. Knowing in our gut, but trying to create a different scenario. Then driving up to her home and seeing the patrol car there, waiting for us. Truly every parents nightmare realized. And nightmare isn’t a strong enough word. There are no words…

  In October of ’09 my husband lost his job. We had made a committment to stay with this company (we’re in the timber industry and have made our share of moves in the last 15 years) by buying a house her. The company he worked for didn’t make the same commitment.

  The highlight of the year happened 12 days after Ian was killed when we were present to witness the birth of our daughters’ first child and our first grandson.

  Do I need a retreat? I don’t know what I need really but think it would be nice. Can I afford a retreat, absolutely not. I’m trying to re-enter the work force after 30 + years and my husband is trying to change careers. We’ll probably lose the house we’ve bought here…..whatever. I’d love to be able to listen to your past retreats and perhaps find some tools to cope with this life there.

  So, there you have it. I do hope you’ll consider me. I just read some of the other entries and feel like I’m in a pity contest. That is not my intention, just your loving consideration and thanking you for the opportunity to put these events into words.

  Barbara

• 102 Helen South Jan 14, 2010

  Wow. My heart really goes out to these readers… what difficult times people face. My troubles are small in comparison.

  I’m in a pretty good place right now; we’re all doing okay, work is going well, I’m playing music and starting a veggie garden. Full of gratitude for my fortunate life.

  Good luck to those in need!

• 103 Vanessa Jan 14, 2010

  I was going to a video, or at least a cool diorama, detailing why I needed a retreat but I only had time between 10:26 and 10:39. So I had to give you…

  Oh, why do I need a retreat? You asked for it.

  1) I work 45 hours a week at least at a desk job that is the ultimate in energy and life suckage. (Wait for it…) I am the manager of a large homeowners association of really, really rich people. I wish I were kidding. People yell at me all day long, frequently about trash cans. I secretly try to conjure plagues of locusts to beset their homes. Never works.
  2) I am a single mother of an almost 6 year old girl and her counselor is certain she had ADHD. There is no such thing as quiet while she is around. Regardless, I love the heck out of her and am going to go squish her right now.
  3) I’m back. Last week my dog, Charlie the Asshole Wonderdog, ate two pairs of my panties and it cost me $2700 in vet bills to get them out. I’ll wait here until you finish laughing. Okay, moving on…
  d) Because of Sir Charles, Eater of Anything, I have undone a massive amount of work in reducing my debt that took me months and months to accomplish. I have nothing in savings. I have about $13 to my name. I am broke. Broke, I say, broke. (Ahhhh but I have my humor about me)
  5) I have gotten frighteningly “squishy” after having stress eaten enough food to feed a small third world country. My eyebrows look like Brooke Shield’s circa 1985. In short, I need to remember I exist and to pay some attention to me.
  5.3) I have decided to make a huge change in my life and rediscover work passion and start my own company. I very much need to leave my job before it leaves me a shell of a human but can’t until I pay off all debt and bills so I can take a pay cut. That may take eons (Thanks again, Charlie!) I have launched my business, have one whole client, and am working about 25 hours a week writing, marketing, podcasting etc. on top of the desk job. That’s about 70 hours of work. It’s hard to try to motivate others in their happiness when you really just want a freakin’ nap.
  6) I have not had time to clean my house because of all of the above and I’m sure there is enough dog hair around here (Charlie- the remix) to make a small Chihuahua.
  7) In all seriousness, I need to breathe. I need to find my breath again. I need to be reminded why I do all this and make it easier and focus on getting to a point where I can pick my kid up from school at 3pm everyday instead of wanting to cry when I drop her off because I have to work all the time. I need to find calm. I need hours and hours of inspiration. Breath needed now.

• 104 Helen Jan 15, 2010

  I started to read through the comments and came to the conclusion that there are those in much greater need than I am for a retreat. My sister gave me the the Life Organizer book for christmas, usually I find this sort of thing too airy-fairy or too bossy to even bother reading beyond the first few pages. This time I kept on reading. It has resonated with me and led me to making tiny changes that add up to surprisingly large and positive changes. I am 38, married for the 2nd time and have a 12 year old son from my 1st marriage and a 17 month old son from my 2nd. I also have an 11 year old stepson who doesn’t live with us. My life has had it’s ups and downs but I am blessed with a loving family and extended family, a lovely place to live and a life that seems full of possibilities…so I shall thank you for your wisdom and wish those who have a greater need than me lots of luck…I shall also try to ignore the irony that I am doing what I always do and putting other peoples needs before my own! Better read some more I think…

• 105 Diana Sledge Jan 15, 2010

  I feel like the rabbit that cried out about the lack of time in constantly announcing “I’m late, I’m late.”

  Thing is; I am not late for much of anything scheduled. It is just that there is no time for retreat.

  I have a heart and maybe even a brain but no courage.. to take time or find a way in my laughable budget to fix ME.

  Even people in authority positions that have access to basics in my life think I should write a book and at the very least am in a three dimensional soap opera, that I live in.

  I wish to do a re-write of my life or at least that soap opera, LOL.

  Since that only becomes possible this moment and the future I pray you accept my attempt in this venture to gain retreat with you and your other guests.

  Thanks for your consideration.

  Diana

• 106 Theresa Huse Jan 15, 2010

  I really could use this grand experience of a retreat to open my vision and help to change thoughts of myself. (negative thoughts embedded from my past) These thoughts that get in the way of my true purpose and passion. I have been on the road of some serious losses and changes over the past few years. I am turning the corner to creating my new life. I am trying to recreate me! It would be life changing to add this retreat to reprogram my thoughts to embracing the crazy and moving forward. Learning to make time for the most important things in my life, while finding my loving self again! To learn how to change my Chi and creating the life of my dreams. ALL YOU ARE OFFERING IN THE RETREAT SCREAM ME! I am turning 50 this year and don’t feel like it at all, except for baggage of this self doubt from negative words & experiences. I have begun to start working on art again and now I want to make a living from it. I don’t want to work for anyone else again. Yet these feelings just keep getting in the way! That is why I feel like this retreat would be an amazing experience, with great timing and an opportunity that would integrate perfectly with what I need to create the new me!!
  Thanks for the chance~Theresa

• 107 dawn myer Jan 15, 2010

  I need a retreat because I need to find out who I am and what God put me on this earth for. I am on a mission for this purpose. I will be 40 in April. Since September I have been blessed with 2 hours to myself every day my son is is pre K. I have been exercising and meditating and praying and doing affirmations and just trying to keep my negative soul away. I don’t know if I can retreat because I am married and I have 4 kids and I just started an online college bachelors program half time at least. So there it is my reasons. Thanks for reading them.

• 108 Carolyn Jan 16, 2010

  I am a retreat coach, part of a fabulous retreat coaches network. I lead retreats, I talk about retreats, I embody the word retreat, and yet sadly to say, the actuality of a retreat for me seems completely foreign. My body, my mind, and my spirit are crying out for a retreat.
  I fell 10′ from an attic floor about 5 months ago. It was not only a terrifying event, but it left me with a broken leg in 3 places, and a complete lifestyle change. I’ve not been able to walk since that day, I’m on crutches and I’m getting ready to have another surgery next week. Then I am looking forward to another surgery on my knee after that.
  I’m single, as in not a husband, or a significant other in my life at the moment. I have 3 children, all older, and have lives of their owns. The financial burden, the emotional support and the “duties of life” rest on me and me alone. Ultimately we all face our own aloneness and must embrace it in order to really fully appreciate life and all it’s many complexities. And I know this in my head, and yet the reality of it at times can be daunting, lonely, and exhausting, especially during times such as this.
  For 2 months I laid in bed just trying to heal my body and my spirit. For the last few months I have been on crutches, hobbling, hurting, trying to get around, while my body cries out in pain.
  Here’s the bottom line to this whole story, I am confident without doubt that if I choose I can come away from this experience a better person. A person who is more compassionate, and who appreciates surviving a life-threatning accident. I want desperately to become empowered by my circumstances and not embittered. But it’s very difficult to embrace that when you’re discouraged, in pain and financially struggling. And yet, it’s my heart’s desire more than anything to be changed from the inside out during this difficult time.
  I lead retreats, I don’t do retreats. That is a sad and embarrassing thing to say. I am no different than every woman that has commented thus far or who has ever attended, or wanted to attend one of my retreats. We say: ” I don’t have the time”, (but we all know that isn’t true), I don’t have the money, (have you checked the price of a beverage at Starbucks lately), “I think I’ll wait until next time, maybe one that fits me better” (There’s never a retreat that will fit you perfectly if you’re looking for perfect). My list of so-called obstacles is the same as everyone else’s. And yet, for me, I MUST go on retreat. I don’t think I even have the opportunity to say no any longer. I MUST find the way to that place of retreat where I know I will find peace, and quiet and rejuvination.
  The most powerful thing I have learned in the past few months is being still does not mean Being Still.
  I’ve been laid up now for months and months. And as I lay in bed with nothing to do but think, I’m not rejuvinated. I’m not rested, I’m not at all in a place of peace. I may be released from physical activities, and I may not be “working”, but I am certainly not being still. I’m full of worry, I’m full of fear for my future, and I’m full of chatter in my head. What I KNOW is that when I go on retreat I give myself permission to let go. I give myself permission to quiet my heart and to open up my creative and free spirit. It’s a place where I’m challenged to truly be still. Being still in retreat is very active. Being still is a very deliberate choice. I know this as I watch my retreatants, but I seldom experience it for myself.
  I’m in desperate need of renewal and rejuvination. Two words that can be so overused, and yet they truly are very powerful. I need renewal of my spirit to claim my body back without pain, I need renewal in my spirit that will allow me to be grateful for what I do have and not what I don’t have right now. And I need renewal of my heart that would allow me to let love flow back in my sometimes “angry” state of being. And finally I need a retreat to allow my physical body to rest. Not to lay in bed and rest; but to REST.
  I need a retreat so that I can be released to move forward in my work which I so desperately love, but which has now become the word Work, and not passion.
  I need a retreat to enjoy Me without a broken leg, and damaged knee, and wounded spirit. I need a retreat to become whole again, even with a broken leg. Ultimately a retreat allows me to set aside the time to be intentional about Loving ME.
  I need a retreat to remind me of why I do what I do. I want to remember why I have committed my life’s work to helping women discover ther passions, their purpose, and helping women live with more joy.
  Going on a retreat will give me the space to enter into that magical place of BEING that I’m longing for. So that I too can come away excited about life, MY life, and to let Joy flow out.
  I want to actively Be Still, and a retreat allows me the space to do it in.

• 109 Anastasia Jan 16, 2010

  I need a retreat because I know I’m in there somewhere but I’ve been missing for a long time. My kids miss me….or maybe they haven’t ever really known ME, my husband misses me, my friends miss me, but most importantly, I miss me. I long to let go of thinking of someone elses needs before my own just for a short while so that I can find that unique woman that I was meant to be. I’m tired of the shroud that covers me.

• 110 Cheryl Jan 16, 2010

  To tell the truth, after reading some of the other entries, I doubt that I should even take a chance to submit this, but here goes. I am 51 years old and have asked myself two questions consistently over the years: Who am I? and Why am I here? When I look at my baby pics, I look into my big brown eyes and see nothing but sadness. I cannot find one photo where I am smiling. As soon as it became an option, I stopped taking photos. I don’t spend a lot of time in the mirror. I don’t look at myself because I don’t like what I see. I could go on about chronic health problems, an abusive marriage, depression, low self-esteem, raising 3 children as a single mom, having recently lost my job due to health concerns, having no income, no savings, no future, and having to find the words to encourage an extremely introverted 17 year high school senior that she’s not me, that she is beautiful and she can do anything she puts her mind to, but we all have our share of problems. God sent me a beautiful friend over 25 years ago, and I know if it were not for her, I’d probably not be here. She tells me I am special; that I am talented; that I have so much to offer. Then why can’t I see that? My constant prayer is for peace of mind. I always thought that if I could write I could support myself, my family, and still stay in my cocoon. Why would I want to, you ask? Because my life experience has shown me that people can be very, very cruel. Loneliness has been my companion for as long as I can remember. When my mind is clear, I read. I try to escape into other people’s world to forget my own problems. Then, I find I’m telling myself, I could have written that. I know that writing is what I’ve longed to do, and yet, like so many others, I’ve plugged away at my 9-5 to support my children. I did write, everyday, in my job as a legal assistant/office manager. My boss always praised my writing skills, but my inner fears always held me back from taking it further. Believing in me is something I’ve never done. Perhaps a retreat is the place to start. Thanks for listening and good luck to all.

• 111 Lori Jan 16, 2010

  Wow, I read all of these entries and realize that everyone else needs the retreat so much more than I do! So don’t pick me. And if you are doing a random drawing and get my name, please draw again.

  But I did want to tell you that I love what you write on the blog, and I learn so much from it. It’s a blessing. Thank you.

• 112 Marian J. Vance Jan 16, 2010

  I reinventing myself at the age of 63. Not sure if I want to be retired. But, very sure I want to be part of the good things happening for women. I’m asking the Universe to show me where I am to be. Guidance please!

• 113 50% to Haiti » Comfort Queen Jan 16, 2010

  [...] been reading the stories of why you need a retreat at the Big Virtual Retreat Contest (you can still [...]

• 114 Patty Jan 16, 2010

  Who am I to be worthy to be entitled to a retreat of self-love, self-care and unconditional support from a room full of women and one to guide us?

• 115 Peggy Jan 16, 2010

  Everyone bears his or her own burden. The weight of the burden is measured in perspective against the weight of other’s burdens; that’s what humans do. My burden is Parkinson’s Disease. It’s not as heavy or as life-threatening as cancer or as traumatic as losing a child–but it’s my burden, and it’s THERE, every day, chronic, frustrating, heavy. I wish that some day I could just wake up and not think about it, and then I feel self-pitying because it’s not as heavy as the burdens some people have to bear. The only way to put it aside for a little while is to engage in activities with more intensity than the affliction–visiting friends, doing something for someone else, finding pleasure in other activities, separating “me” from “it”. Retreat–retreat–retreat…

• 116 Faith Jan 16, 2010

  I am past the deadline..but I am going to throw my 2 cents in..I know I need to retreat, when I don’t even want to be around myself. I am at the age when I should have grown children. But I am a late bloomer and have a 14 and 7 year old, and a wonderful now unemployed husband..all of whom I love dearly, but need to get away from for a few moments of silence. Everything bothers me, and I am frustrated by the fact that now, life is on hold with just my income. Ifeel that I need to work harder and more hours, but at the expense of more housework and upkeep. My husband tries, but men do keep up like women do. I am not happy with myself, my life at this moment. I feel as though I am suffocating in a dark closet with no door. Where is the light? Where is the window so I can breath..? Where did I go? My internal teeter totter is out of whack, to much on one side and not enough on the other…

• 117 Lisa Romao Jan 16, 2010

  I need to be forced to go on a retreat. I have been happily pushing myself to exhaustion working on the relief efforts for Haiti since the Eartquake struck. I work as an email/web developer and have been doing everything I can to assist getting funds and keeping solid streams of communication from the field to our supporters. But I feel like I need to do more, since so much needs to be done. And what’s a little tired when so many lives have been destroyed, and I can be part of the process that brings some comfort?

  Help Save the Children deliver earthquake aid to #Haiti. Text SAVE to 20222 to donate $10. US only

• 118 Tess Jan 16, 2010

  I always thought if I knew what I wanted to do, it would be easier. So I now have a thing; as it turns out, I’ve always had the thing. Easier? Yeah, not so much.
  I think like most of us I’m stuck between how to pay the mortgage and how to build this thing of mine.
  Do I do what I know how to do or do I do who I am? Where do focus my energies now ? What would best serve me and my family? How can I listen to my own advice?
  Questions for retreat. Questions for the quiet.
  I need a space for the answers to land. I need a retreat to mow the field for the answers to land.

• 119 Chris Jan 16, 2010

  I need a retreat because I’m at the stage of my life where I’ve forgotten how to dream for my future. I have a wonderful husband, fantastic kids, great half-time job. But every time I start to think of new pursuits, all I can come up with is the disruption they would cause in our nice, orderly lives (like who would pick up the kids, hubby works second shift, can’t afford to go back to school, etc. etc. etc.). I need some quiet time and some direction to spark creative solutions/dreaming, but can’t go anywhere without disrupting the household schedule!

• 120 denise c-w Jan 16, 2010

  I need to rock my world!

• 121 Carolyn Vanderslice Jan 16, 2010

  My husband died a little over a year ago, after a long illness, and I found that I had put all of myself into caring for him–thinking about his needs, trying to make him happy and comfortable, managing his meds and appointments, keeping track of every little detail–and I figured when he was gone I could go back to being myself. Surprise! When he died, most of what was left of me died, too. My life had become so intertwined with his that there wasn’t much left of ME. I used to write, I used to make jewelry, I used to read and go to movies and have friends to do things with. Not so anymore.

  But there are tiny feeble movements somewhere deep inside–I can feel them–little sprouts of something, but they seem weaker every day. What if they disappear?

  When I read about the virtual retreat something almost like hope gently prodded me. I had put down a deposit on the Taos retreat a couple of months ago, and ever since I’d been telling myself reasons I couldn’t really go. Now, like a lavender-scented vapor a thought creeps into my head– if I do the virtual retreat it may help me to become strong enough to go to Taos. So I’m challenging myself.

  I’ll do it!

• 122 Cindy Yates Jan 17, 2010

  I am not asking for the retreat – but advertising the value of taking one. Last summer I booked a week by myself in a mountain home with only my journals, some beading supplies, hiking boots and Jen’s Retreat book.
  I have never experienced so much learning as I did that week. We are worth discovering and it is very hard (no impossible) when you don’t give yourself the time.

• 123 Sharon K. Moritz Jan 17, 2010

  Sometimes I need to withdrawal from the world and go inward and rediscover what is important to me and refocus on that.

• 124 Teri Jan 17, 2010

  I would like a retreat to help me rediscover the wisdom of my inner knowing… it seems to be muffled these days.

• 125 Elena Jan 17, 2010

  I have so much to be thankful for: Loving mother and siblings, children and grandchildren, a job that helps people and that I like, good coworkers. My husband and I have been blessed over and over especially lately. As I recount these events, please know that blessing upon blessing have manifested to produce miraculous outcomes, large and small in my estimation. Dec 24 leaving the grocery store parking lot I slid on ice and hit a 2009 Expedition with my pickup. I felt so bad for ‘them’, thankfully they did not come out of the store when paged so I didn’t have to face them, the Police took care of that part. Sunday, December 27 my husband slipped on ice , shattered his ankle. He laid on the ice for one-half hour before someone saw him and called an ambulance, he was a little hypothermic. He had emergency surgery that evening 3 bones 5 breaks. Following Sunday @ the ER again for accidental overdose of meds similar in appearance to pain meds. Following Sunday we were @ the ER again for heart attack. They thought they lost him once for a minute. Mediflight was called, but unable to fly because of fog. The Mediflight crew went w/him in the ambulance to hospital in another state. Hmm, on second thought, maybe he needs the retreat!!!!

• 126 Irene Jan 18, 2010

  I’d love to take a retreat with you. I have followed a couple of virtual retreats with you some years ago and I still recall the peace and serenity I felt, the renewal and encouaragement.
  What stops me? I cannot travel to the States to join one of your “real” retreats. I can only do “virtual”. As I had to economize from different parts to get off credit card debt, my subscription to Comfort Cafe had to go, too. Plus telephone bills from Greece to the State also feel too much. Time is another issue, but i have learned thanks to you to ask for it, even though I feel a pinch in the heart for not being a “good enough” mother and wife for doing something of my own at 3a.m.
  in spite of all that, I recognize the impact those blessed moments of sharing a purposeful communion mean, and I very much thank you for every moment and every word, written or spoken. God bless you.

• 127 Megan Jan 18, 2010

  Retreats are my lifeline. About five or six years ago we (my husband and I) discovered I need to retreat. I need a retreat at least once a year. I don’t know why it is, but if I don’t get time away, with no obligations it’s like some kind of compression begins to happen inside of me. Like a pressure cooker or something! I can feel it building and building and… I either explode, or melt down. It was an accident that we discovered a weekend away, alone, with nothing but books, journals and art (or at an organized retreat) can keep this from happening to me.

  Normally, this is the time of year I get to go. I’d be at my best if I could retreat twice a year, but in February my husband gets a bonus and every year he has generously allowed me to use part of it to retreat. This year though, things have gone wrong the last few months and the bonus will need to help us get caught up and correct someone else’s mistake – which means I can’t bear to ask for the money for a retreat. Of course, money and time are really the only things holding me back from what I know to be essential self-care. Retreats are like a soul re-alignement for me – I never withhold permission for them from myself because I’ve seen the price I pay when I do. I’m only ever held back by resources… and then I just have to hope there’s a way to keep from walking around wit a crooked soul for the next few months…

  Yours,
  Megan

• 128 Kris Jan 18, 2010

  Dear Self Care Goddess,

  I have so fallen asleep in my life and purpose I cannot even think up the creative expression to explore why a retreat might be of benefit to me. Lo unto those who have fallen prey to mediocrity, awash in a sea of complacency! Sadness at the dull, routinized State food service job that robs one of connection with one’s own soul. Surrounded by and absorbing the energies of the resigned. Asleep, asleep…maroooooooooned!

  Yours, quite clearly in need of such a thing as I have never had: a retreat,

  Kris Keller, Deinspired

• 129 amanda ann hoffman Jan 18, 2010

  I’m not scarred or undisciplined as much as I have a hard time breaking stride. I am very disciplined, as evidenced by my daily yoga practice which I never don’t do unless my back is out. It is the shifting of gears for me. Retreats feed me so much, not only b/c of what happens during them, (usually ubersignificant) but b/c of the anticipation, the preparing myself for the receptive and creative time. By the time I’ve gone through all that preperation, I am SO present when I arrive. I LOVE retreating and can’t wait to win one of yours!

• 130 Lula Jan 19, 2010

  Hi Jen — In reading the other entries there’s a whole lot of gals whose lives are much tougher than mine. However, I could use a retreat to become unstuck. So ungodly STUCK. With the current economy, my lifelong style of picking up and heading on a new adventure is quelled. I have a good solid service job and renting a very pleasant place. The ease of re-creating this, as in the past, seems less certain now. More risky. Bonehead.

  I work around private jets and see folks with billions of $$ that could pay for a retreat for every one of us. Easily. I don’t think the thought to give little gifts, as you’re doing, ever crosses their mind. Gestures like yours are life-changing. Magnanimous. Love-filled.

  With my mom’s recent cancer diagnosis came many good realizations. One, is a new career direction for me. My dormant acupuncture training could shift to patient navigating which I believe I have a real gift for. (I recently went home and did this for her.) When to do this? How to? Where to? How to get the boyfriend to go with?:) These are the big questions. I need to bloom, expand, create, challenge, connect, move forward. From all that I’ve read, your retreat would be like the jet blast that thrusts the plane off onto the runway. Please consider me. With love and gratitude.

• 131 Lula Jan 19, 2010

  Hi Jen — In reading the other entries there’s a whole lot of gals whose lives are much tougher than mine. However, I could use a retreat to become unstuck. Feeling so ungodly STUCK. With the current economy, my lifelong style of picking up and heading on a new adventure is quelled. I have a good solid service job and renting a very pleasant place. The ease of re-creating this, as in the past, seems less certain now. More risky. Bonehead.

  I work around private jets and see folks with billions of $$ that could pay for a retreat for every one of us. Easily. I don’t think the thought to give little gifts, as you’re doing, ever crosses their mind. Gestures like yours are life-changing. Magnanimous. Love-filled.

  With my mom’s recent cancer diagnosis came many good realizations. One, is a new career direction for me. My dormant acupuncture training could shift to patient navigating which I believe I have a real gift for. (I recently went home and did this for her.) When to do this? How to? Where to? How to get the boyfriend to go with?:) These are the big questions. I need to bloom, expand, create, challenge, connect, move forward. From all that I’ve read, your retreat would be like the jet blast that thrusts the plane off onto the runway. Please consider me. With love and gratitude.

• 132 MG Jan 19, 2010

  For the past two years I’ve been trying to figure out what path to take. This retreat would be a blessing and would help me to make some choices and get started on a new future. A retreat is just what I need to get the creative juices flowing.

• 133 The Silence of Becoming A Linchpin » Comfort Queen Jan 20, 2010

  [...] You distract yourself, sometimes for years and years, from what you really care about (just read some of the comments on the Win a Retreat post) in a multitude of very creative ways. I call these distractions shadow comforts or time monsters, [...]

• 134 Michelle M Jan 20, 2010

  Reading through the other comments here it reminds me that so many people go through tough times, just like the past year was for me. If you want to read all the details of the loss, grief, blessings and joy I’ve experienced I’d welcome you to visit my blog http://completefragments.com/blog/2009/09/24/where-have-i-been/, but I won’t bore you with the details here. And I’m not hoping to win this generous prize by playing the sympathy card. I want to win it because I feel like I’m bursting at the seams with potential, ideas, hope….but I’m paralysed and I need a push. I just can’t seem to make any moves towards the life I want for myself and my family. I can’t seem to find space in my life to spend the time clearly expressing what I’m trying to achieve, plan it out and then make it all happen. And I’m paralysed by the fear of failure, especially as it would mean taking time away from my young children and focusing on myself – I would be asking alot of my family and then would be ashamed if I failed. But I also desperately want to show my children what it means to follow your dreams.

  And oh, how I’ve dreamt of taking time out for myself over the past year, but it just hasn’t been practical with a new baby and a 3 yr old, so a virtual retreat that I can fit in around the family would be so perfect for my life now.

• 135 Balinda Jan 20, 2010

  Why I can’t retreat? I do so much for everyone in this family. I have two teenage daughters and a ten year old son. That when I am gone my husband stresses in unpleasant ways. There is a fist shaped hole in my daughters bedroom door from the last time I left my family alone for a weekend.

  I do take time for myself but not for very long periods of time and always with an ear to the tension levels in the rest of the house.

  I often take a day and just call it Mom’s day off. It is usually on a weekend when my husband is around to taxi the kids.

• 136 Mother Earth Whispers Jan 20, 2010

  [...] explore, discover and learn about really taking care of yourself. It’s being given by Jen Louden, the Comfort Queen and there are just loads of FABULOUS people who are going to be giving sessions. [...]

• 137 Chris Jan 20, 2010

  Leaving your baby after maternity leave comes to a crashing end is just jolting to the system. A heartache that trumps all others. I already miss the days I haven’t even lost yet. I figured it would be easier this time around since I did it 3 years ago with my daughter. But now I have her asking why I have to work “EVERY day” (with a sour look on her face…). And I tell her I do it for her. To pay for our home… to pay for our food. It’s a financial necessity. I’ve been back for only 8 days and already feel depleted. My body aches from the stress… it aches from the fast pace… it aches from the interrupted sleep…it aches from caring my breastpump and laptop on either shoulder… but mainly it aches from the longing to see my little son’s smiles during the day. Everyone says “he’ll be loved, he’ll be fine.” And I know that. But will I?

• 138 Mare Jan 20, 2010

  10 years ago I began the strange bittersweet journey of dementia with my mother, learning as Roethke says, by going where I had to go. Now, 4 weeks after her death, I am lost without her sweet mindless presence in my life. She didn’t know me for years, but I knew her…Now– who am I? Now– where do I go? This retreat — a time to allow new life to flow into these questions as I write my way into the answers….

• 139 Bliss Blossum Jan 21, 2010

  A retreat…My last retreat was last night. I took a long hot bath in a darkened candlelit bathroom. I used a soothing bath oil, and I let go…Letting go is something I do not do enough. I am willing to let go eventually, but sometimes my life feels more like a game of tug-of-war, knots, rope, tension and pull. I need a retreat to return to the authentic passionate collage’ I had intended. Help me match my actions to my intentions please! Thank you!

• 140 Sharon Jan 21, 2010

  Do I need a retreat? Having never been to one I can only dream of what a retreat might offer me. With health issues too many to list traveling is not an option but having the lessons to listen to sounds like a dream to me. From a car accident 19 years ago my life has been spiraling down and out of control with no hope of stopping in sight. If only health issues like Fibromyalgia, a permanent back injury and depression were all I deal with, maybe I could start living again. If only a divorce were all, maybe I could start living again. If only loosing my sweet baby (my dog) after 21 years was all, maybe I could start living again. If only my dad suddenly passing away was all (and I was daddy’s girl), maybe I could start living again. If only loosing my business because of my disability was all, maybe I could start living again. If only my house hadn’t become overwhelmed with clutter and boxes, maybe I could start living again. If only living an isolated life of pain, mostly in bed was all, maybe I could start living again. Really it goes on and on with no end in sight and I’ve pretty much given up hope. Maybe a retreat’s worth of lessons would teach me how to hope and dream again. And maybe it would give me the encouragement to try. Because right now, this day, I don’t know how to do that anymore and maybe I could learn to start living again.

• 141 Kiki Jan 21, 2010

  After seven years, I’m finally about to complete my Ph.D., and have finally begun given myself permission to admit silently to myself that I’m no longer passionate about building a career in what I’ve spent so long studying. Admitting that out loud, however, is something that I’m still shying away from for what it means – angering some, disappointing others, and taking the new step into something completely different that I’ve been considering for five of the last seven years. What I study does not make me happy anymore, and right now I’m at the crossroads between continuing with what I’ve been trained to do and moving into what I would really love to do that actually makes me happy.

  I need to retreat from all the fear and frustration that dominates my life. I am desperate for the chance to dig deep down inside and find my voice, to finally stand up and announce my decision with integrity, conviction, and courage. I’ve taken your advice, tuned out the static, and made some headway, but a real retreat is necessary to find my inner strength and become my authentic self.

• 142 Hanna Jan 21, 2010

  I don’t have a job right now and no income, so because I can’t afford to go on a retreat I don’t rest enough because I feel stressed about looking for jobs all the time. I wish I could get away from my head, or at least retreat to yoga and silence like you say, it sounds like bliss to me.

• 143 Barbara Jan 21, 2010

  Retreat~sounds marvelous, relaxing, unforgettable and flowing with warmth and blessings! So many have written why they need one and would be so much more deserving than I would. Guess that’s the caretaker in me, parents, hubby, children. But we are all there one way or another and stress makes us ill yet we still strive to please everyone. Is it the woman’s life to give and wait to maybe receive? We can dream, desire and pray for the chance to unwind,maybe we can win one! Again~a retreat sounds marvelous!

• 144 The Lady Pastor (Emily) Jan 21, 2010

  My vocation is to journey with people through all the highs and lows of life as their pastor. It is a beautiful job. It is also completely overwhelming at times.

  Life and death and everything inbetween. I find it a true joy to talk about faith and spirituality and all of “life’s biggest questions” on a daily basis. One of the aspects of this vocation that I love the most is empowering people to ask questions and be unafraid to talk to God about anything and everything. But sometimes I find my lack of answers frustrating. It turns out most of life’s biggest questions don’t have clear answers.

  There is a huge “burn-out” rate for new pastors. I truly want to stay spiritually, emotionally and physically healthy. A virtual retreat would be a wonderful way to incorporate “self care” into my chaotic pastoral life. Experiencing this retreat would definitely help me be a better leader and pastor for the congregations 2200 members!

• 145 Josiane Jan 21, 2010

  Oh, Jen! How much do I need a retreat right now? *That* much! [picture my arms wide open, and that still wouldn't be enough!] Clients have been driving me crazy all week long, so I really need a break. Thankfully, the timing is perfect: I’m leaving tomorrow, and will be on retreat on Saturday. Yes, Havi’s retreat!
  Yes, it’s big, expensive, far from home (all the way across the continent!) and everything, but I’ll be there – partly thanks to you. You, and your writer’s retreat last summer in Taos. What a wonderful experience that was!
  I could draw upon that experience when came time to decide if I’d register for Havi’s retreat. Remembering how good that week with you in Taos was, I could quickly switch from “yes I want to go, but (it’s expensive, far, etc.)” to “yes it’s expensive, far, etc., but I want to go” – the same “yes, but” really isn’t the same when you switch things around and put what you truly need and want first.
  (By the way, this little question you taught us in Taos – “what do I want?” – what a wonderful gift! Thank you!)

  So I’m treating myself to that retreat, and also to your virtual retreat, the timing of which is also perfect: just when I’ll be missing being in retreat mode after that intense week with Havi and Selma, I’ll get to enter the container of your retreat. What a delightful way to ease back into my daily life! Beyond that, I’m sure it’ll help consolidate what I’ll get from Havi’s retreat – come to think of it, every retreat should be followed by another one such as the one you’ll lead next month! I’m really looking forward to it.

• 146 Chris Jan 21, 2010

  Leaving your baby after maternity leave comes to a crashing end is just jolting to the system. A heartache that trumps all prior ones. I already miss the days I haven’t lost. I figured it would be easier this time around since I did it 3 years ago with my daughter. But now I have her asking why I have to work “EVERY day” (with a sour look on her face…). And I tell her I do it for her. To pay for our home… to pay for our food. It’s a financial necessity. I’ve been back for only 8 days and already feel depleted. My body aches from the stress… it aches from the fast pace… it aches from the interrupted sleep…it aches from caring my breastpump and laptop on either shoulder… but mainly it aches from the longing to see my little son’s smiles during the day. Everyone says “he’ll be loved, he’ll be fine.” And I know that. But will I?

• 147 Clara Jan 22, 2010

  Hi Jen, I hope I’m not too late. The e-mail said the deadline was January 21, but then I saw at the top of this page it says January 22, so maybe…?

  I would love a retreat. I realized lately I haven’t been making enough room around things. The clues? Easy things to do still waiting to be done a week later (like entering contests!). Guilt and resentment showing up more often. Getting distracted easily.

  When this happens, I know I need to slow down and listen, and get honest about what I’ve been doing and what I haven’t been doing.

  A retreat could only be good! Thank you!

• 148 Maria Jan 22, 2010

  Jen,
  You’ve sent out multiple invitations for the Virtual retreat and multiple opportunities to enter. With the first invitation I got excited about the opportunity, but didn’t follow through immediately- so much else shouting for my attention, so many “to dos”, and “shoulds”.
  So I missed a first opportunity, then another. Then I put it on my calendar to respond to the contest, because I know it is important. Just last year I went back to work full time. Working part time, I was fairly able to balance family and work and having some nurturing, retreat type practices in a part of my day/week. I believe that part of the reason I was hired for my current position was because I was grounded, and full of creativity and enthusiasm.
  Fast forward to now, so why is it the 11th hour (almost literally) that I am trying to meet the contest deadline. Perhaps that unspoken fear, that lizard mind, that doubting that says I can’t afford to take time to retreat, there’s not the money. . . So if apply to the contest late, and don’t win, then that just “confirms “ those voices.
  Actually, I really didn’t want to wait until the 11th hour, I had it on my calendar to do yesterday and today but I think the Universe needed to hit smack in the face with the fact that I do need a retreat. In less than 12 hours I will be working with a team to facilitate a retreat (thank God I’m working with a team)! But I’ve been feeling drained lately- feeling like I’m doing so much “busy work”, still trying to navigate the transition to working fulltime, trying to be supermom, trying to do more, push through the next thing . . .and then I’ll rest, then I’ll retreat. So today, it was a string of events that just began to scream to me YOU NEED a RETREAT!!
  I had a coworker question why I wasn’t at work first thing this AM (even though I’d be working all day tomorrow), the computer repair place called to tell me our family computer was blue screening (and they’d do their best to recover our data), then one of session leaders had a family emergency (and may or may not be able to lead their session). (This all happened before noon). In the afternoon we had a registered retreatant cancel, my cell phone stopped working, and I forgot to call school to have my son come on the bus instead of going to afterschool care. When I arrived home the puppy had torn apart his dog bed, and my husband was calling home asking me why I wasn’t answering my cell phone. Someone during the day told me I looked horrible. Is it any wonder? I guess today was my version of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day.
  I don’t have a video camera, otherwise I suppose my drained face would speak volumes (and I suppose I already have written volumes). So even if you don’t choose my entry, today hit me over the head with the fact that even if I don’t feel “worthy”, there may not be the time or the money to retreat the way I would want as a first choice (i.e- a total getaway); I NEED A RETREAT. Thanks for giving people the opportunity to retreat virtually.
  Sincerely,
  Maria

• 149 Virtual and Mini-Retreat Winners » Comfort Queen Jan 27, 2010

  [...] Wowza – retreats are needed – that’s what I got from your responses to my Big Virtual Retreat Contest. [...]

• 150 Pre-Launch Lessons Learned: Q&A With Jen Louden Feb 4, 2010

  [...] I’m really loving – although it is breaking my heart to read the entries – is a Why I Need a Retreat Contest. People can win a free seat at the retreat or a iPod Nano with this year and last year’s [...]