Yesterday, two creative projects became more real, with partners and deadlines and money. One is a radio show that Martha Stewart’s company offered me months ago- as part of their new 24 hour channel on Sirius satellite radio- the engineer came and installed this little box on my desk that allows me to talk to their studio in New York- and record my show right here in my office (translate in my pj’s!). The other is New World Library and I are partnering to publish the Inner Organizer as a book- finally, I’m going to get this tool into the right format. It’s only taken what, 7 years? Shoot, probably longer than that. Looking back in my files, I see one marked July 1998! That’s how long this idea has been trying to find the right home.
So, am I feeling excited and ready to create? Not really.
I feel morel like I want to take a week off and crawl into bed and read a great intelligent, transformative yet light book (any suggestions?) I’m not afraid of these new projects- wait, let me check that… Yes, I am a little fearful… and that’s okay… I’ve never done a radio show before… And edge of fear reminds me to be aware. I’m not afraid of writing the book although there is a story in the back of my mind that I’ll never be able to do this idea justice… I have that story sometimes- or that story has me- this belief that I’m given great ideas and then I never quite articulate them to their full potential. I also have the same story about opportunities, the most notable one being my infamously icky performance on Oprah in 1997.
Yet as I write this, I realize this isn’t true anymore, for me. Wow. What a great feeling. I just let out a whoop. I just don’t believe this anymore… or I don’t care. I trust in my deepest experiences- to show up, to be emotionally honest, to do my best to provide quality information and insight. And that’s enough.
So why aren’t I more jazzed about these two new projects? Let me sit with this and see what comes up.
2 responses so far ↓
1 Marilyn Oct 29, 2005
Well, first of all, congrats! Second of all…I’m sure you are, but just in case you’re not…you’re familiar with Hay House Radio? Just thinking that you might want to give a listen there to hear some like-minded folks doing radio shows: http://www.hayhouseradio.com
As for something not being true anymore…I just included a quote from Living with Joy in a post yesterday that speaks to that (talking about subpersonalities): “These selves that exist within you can be healed and integrated with your higher vision. Perhaps they were created during times of crisis, or they base their images of reality or their programs of instruction on pictures passed on to you from parents and friends.” Or maybe the images were self-generated based on previously uncomfortable or unfulfilling or embarrassing experiences. Just thought I’d pass that along…so you can create NEW images to go with your NEW projects.
2 m Oct 29, 2005
Anything by Jennifer Weiner.
Oh but the coming together of a big project is deflating … why… perhaps because while waiting for it to come about you’ve squished down so many feelings in the waiting and hoping stage