A dear friend of mine is working toward becoming an end-of-life-counselor or “midwife for the dying.” She is pondering whether to attend a year long program in another city, a program which is quite involved and expensive. At the pre-interview, she was asked to committ to a spiritual discipline between now and when the program begins. My friend’s inner rebel instantly declared “No way.” Later she said to me, “I’ve purposely never followed one path or one teacher. I embrace many paths and my life is all about spiritual practice. It bothers me that he thinks my way isn’t enough.” Yet, as we talked, she agreed with me that sometimes her rebellion blocked her ability to stick with things. She felt stuck, wondering what to do with her life yet unwilling to give anyone the authority to teach her.
Today my friend wrote to say, “I have given myself until the end of October to find a practice. I’m using the word diligence (from the Greek-deep caring) instead of discipline.”
I just love this! Isn’t deep caring what is missing form our political and personal lives so much of the time? Deep caring. Is it possible that as much or more than becoming truth finders, we must first and continually, find ways to touch and embody deep caring?
Diane, a blog reader, sent me this quote from Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron: “Compassionate action starts with seeing yourself when you start to make yourself right and when you start to make yourself wrong. At that point you could just contemplate the fact that there is a larger alternative to either of those, a more tender, shaky kind of place where you could live.”
Where might deep caring + larger alternatives (non-dual thinking) + being a truth finders lead us?
2 responses so far ↓
1 Michelle Ensminger Sep 25, 2005
God bless your friend on her journey. I worked at a hospital as a chaplian for two years. It’s hard, hard work.
And I very much agree…it starts with the self and then spreads. Its surprising how many people neglect themselves. I hear so many people list their priorities and they aren’t on that list, as if to be on the list is selfish. Its so easy to not put yourself on the list, even for those who know better.
2 judy laprade Sep 28, 2005
I can relate to your friend’s dilemma, being raised a socially liberal
American Baptist when such a thing was common in my Appalachian state of West Virginia. Some of my family members still involved in that church baffle and frighten me when they speak ill of others, such as the poor or people in the bi- and homosexual community.
My inner rebel has left me frustrated and VERY leary of any structured religion. Looking around, however, I do see a group I believe is on a great path and that is the Friends, otherwise known as Quakers. They’re peacelovers and active in practicing what they believe. They sit together in silence and use that beautiful power of meditation to help heal the world. Maybe your friend would find solace and safety there. I am feeling a connection with them and think I will go that way myself after years of avoidance and fear of the guru mentality, from Buddists to Baptists.