I took a walk in the damp, yellow and brown and green woods this morning… golden yellow big leaf maple leaves drifting through the fog-tinged cedar air… my dog Luna quivering and darting with wild scent induced ecstasy… me concentrating on letting earth, nature, beauty feed me…
I stopped to coo over a maple leaf polka-dotted with fat black spots like an abstract painting… and then saw more of these fantasy leaves… So I stopped to make a small rock leaf moss shrine by the side of the trail… and then it hit me: THIS IS IT. This creative dance, this flow of moving and expressing, it is life. It is God. It is what all those people mean when they say we are all creative. It is what we all need to be healthy. Marilyn, is this what you meant when you wrote, "I try to listen to my natural rhythms and do it when the mood
strikes. I used to try to force myself to keep a writing routine, but
I’ve found that my writing flows much more freely when I listen to the
urge instead… (see my last entry for more on this).
When I can’t create with words, I can turn to my art table to create something there… and when that doesn’t call, out I go to the garden or to the woods… It is all good! God, this sounds so banal but it is a deeper layer of understanding for me, this knowing… I have never allowed myself this constant moving between art forms… because I’m not good at other forms of creating… But SO WHAT!
The other barrier has been I think whatever I create has to amount to something or earn something or save someone or it isn’t worth my time; so my should self will harp- "You should be walking fast and burning calories not playing with leaves" or "You should be writing your article that is due, not blogging for fun and personal growth." But listening to Karla Mclaren talk about energetic boundaries, she stresses how we can become ill or addicted to different substances when we don’t have expressive, flowing art practices in our lives regularly.
What do you think?
4 responses so far ↓
1 Marilyn Oct 24, 2005
I think those “should” selves oughta be permanently banished from our consciousness…they’re nothing but troublemakers.
It seems that we often think we’re “wasting” time if we’re not ACTIVELY creating. But every mode of our creative expression becomes so much richer as a result of the PASSIVE creating we do by experiencing art created by others (nature, books, films, visual art, etc.) And few can top Gaia for inspiration…what a different world this would be if everyone would just take a walk every day with open eyes… As for being “good” at something…that’s a hard tape to stop looping (at least for me it is). In my best moments I’m able to remember that it doesn’t matter HOW I do things, only that I do them. 
2 Li Wu Oct 24, 2005
Wow. Thank you for that statement by Karla Mclaren. I actually just this past weekend realized that the only creative thing I see my mother do is cooking. I grew up believing creative activities are frivolous and a waste of time/money. Now you got me thinking. What are my creative outlets? Sewing/craft, journaling, cooking (though this feels like a chore sometimes), parenting? What are examples of “expressive, flowing art practices?” I get “expressive” but have trouble with “flowing.” I also just realized my creations are quite private – some are shared with my family, the rest are not shared at all. I’m not sure how this is relevant, but it popped up in my head…
3 cindy Oct 25, 2005
i ditto marilyn’s comments on the “shoulds”. i dont have should in my vocabulary. and i might add i noticed them right away in your bolg. i need some think time b4 responding to the rest so ill pop in later this afternoon and respond. cindy
4 cindy Oct 25, 2005
some more thoughts from me: You said, “because I’m not good at other forms of creating…” i say, who’s grading???? we are not in grade school anymore so who cares?(said gently). who is saying u are not good?
You said:”The other barrier has been I think whatever I create has to amount to something or earn something or save someone or it isn’t worth my time” On this, i wonder if you are aware that u are measuring yourself against a standard. someones standard. either your own or one taken on by osmosis.
who says it has to amount to something or that it has to save someone?
who says it isnt worth your time?
I ask, who’s standard is this? (said gently)