Sharing our fears is not selfish – it’s essential.We can’t paper over the fear, the self-doubt, the anxiety, or it will tear a gaping hole in our creation at the very worst possible moment.
But giving in to our dragons – that is truly selfish.
Listening to them, believing them? There is no time left, dear people, no time.
As one of my stupendous Comfort Cafe members – sheros said about my last blog post (we sometimes discuss my blog posts in more private in-depth ways on the CC forums):
Speaking as just one person whose life has been forever changed as a result of your work, I WANT you to live this desire because I believe it will help me make my OWN difference in the world.
I also know, speaking just for myself, that if I knew that the world needed my work like this – it would motivate me to get my work out there.
I read this and sat up straighter.
What would happen if you knew the world needed your work?
What would you do today?
What would I do?
How can we convince each other we already do know?
And if we can’t convince each other, how can we take action anyway?’
P.S.
Being called to listen to and live a big desire always sounds so very lofty and noble.
Actually doing it?
Doesn’t feel very lofty. Nor noble. It feels more sweaty. This is like building a rock wall, or framing a house or getting into shape. It’s hard. It’s slow. It’s manual.
It’s messy.
How much can I love the mess, keep turning away from the siren song of perfectionism, and into the mess of the unknown?
All the while believing the world needs this work and yet not getting attached to some big lofty oh my aren’t I hot shit!
So glad I can leave my rock wall building right now and go to my accountant now. That gives you an idea of how hard this is – I’m excited to visit my accountant.
Sheesh.
Links: When the Heart Waits, James Hollis;
9 responses so far ↓
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2 Heather Plett Aug 5, 2010
Oh Jen – this is just what I needed to read today!
I just quit my job and am moving into self-employment. I’m waiting for the next big thing to be born, and I’m starting to believe that this dream I have is something the world needs. Being reminded of it in this post helps me to remember that it’s no longer about my ego, but about what the world is waiting to receive from me.
Thanks.
3 Susan Gallacher-Turner Aug 5, 2010
LOL…I love that you are looking forward to a visit with your accountant. It’s like when I look forward to scrubbing the toilet or doing laundry, you get to be productive and procrastinate all at the same time. Now, that said, I do think that cleaning and clearing of any kind is a great way to unblock when I’m blocked, even when I don’t realize I’m blocked.
Ok, the other thing here is a question:
When you are most resistant or fearful, isn’t that a BIG signal that whatever this is…you really care about? That it means a lot to you in your heart and soul, so failure might just break you?
Jennifer, you have a great track record…is that what’s getting in your way?
Sorry if that’s too personal…
4 Jennifer Aug 5, 2010
Susan not too personal at all. It’s a question I am asking myself constantly… what’s getting in my way?
And good point about failure just might break you if you don’t succeed, only wouldn’t it eat us up far more if we never tried at all?
5 Jennifer Aug 6, 2010
Good Heather and yes it does!
6 Susan Gallacher-Turner Aug 9, 2010
Yes…it would eat us up far more for never trying…but it’s a much slower process and one, I think, that we can distract ourselves from, like being just ‘too busy’ with other things, jobs, people, stuff in our life. Right?
7 Jennifer Aug 9, 2010
YES YES YES. You cannot believe the distractions and resistance I am in the midst of. But your question is helping. so thank you thank you!
8 Jane Aug 10, 2010
Letting go of the maybes – the idle daydreams of ‘maybe it’d be nice to do x’ that while away my time, distracting me from from what I really want and perhaps what the world needs from me. Admitting that the thought of the world needing my thing – also scary. Oof.
9 Susan Gallacher-Turner Aug 11, 2010
Oh, yes, I can. I’m in the midst of it, too. But, one of the things I’m resisting is rest, something at a deep level, I have known I needed for a while but fear kept me from it. My head is saying that resting is procrastinating…but my heart is saying the opposite. Can you rest and be productive?