45 responses so far ↓

• 1 Sue | AbundantMama Sep 10, 2009

  Jennifer, and all you wonderful women who read her fantastic words…

  I think the end of patriarchy will take care of this type of marketing. I am hopeful. I too, have been overwhelmed by the male-dominated style of marketing we see. It’s worked for them, I guess (?) but times are changing.

• 2 2Dinternational » Freedom From Self-Improvement: No More Fear-Based Marketing … Sep 10, 2009

  [...] that. My point is, let’s each learn and grow (and … Go here to see the original:  Freedom From Self-Improvement: No More Fear-Based Marketing … Categories: Self Improvement Tags: all-for, and-, and-courses, and-grow, are-always, [...]

• 3 Cisca Sep 10, 2009

  Victoria’s “Have a remarkable life” — how poignant that sounds… I love it (and I live it).

  Jennifer, your thoughts about the IM world and bully sales tactics are right on the money. For a while, I was addicted.

  About 20 months ago I decided to put myself through a crash course on how to start a business online. My timing could not have been worse, as I got sucked into a mega product launch and bought a pricey program that I never completed, not because I am not an action taker, but because it was not what I needed (like buying sandals in winter instead of boots). I rushed into that purchase because it was recommended by someone I trusted… unfortunately in my case he was wrong.

  Yet that was just the start of many months of subscribing to various “guru” product launches, again because I wanted to learn what was going on in IM and to find just the right “course”… but I stopped buying and never found what I needed. I saw the red flags and most of what they had to teach (if you wanted to go their route) you could learn just by watching their selling process.

  After too many months of watching this rather revolting fear-based marketing, shocked and pained by the self-denigrating comments people were leaving on the blogs, I stomped on the brakes and ended the flood of negativity flowing into my life.

  That’s not to say there aren’t many wonderful ezines, yours included. I’m still over-subscribed, but now I receive ezines that either help my business directly or just put a big smile on my face.

  For me the solution is awareness and choice. I don’t beat myself up for the months spent on the “wrong” stuff; that too was a learning experience.

  Thanks, Jennifer, for bringing joy and light into my life with your dancing words.

  Have a brilliant day!

• 4 Kate Sep 10, 2009

  Well said!

  Yes, that feeling of time pressure – it’s just horrible.

  Another icky marketing trick I really, really hate is when you’re offered something, you click ‘no’, and then you’re taken to another page where you’re offered it again at a lower price. Awful! And then if you still say no, the next page offers an even lower price, and a freebie to go with it. And so on.

• 5 Marie Sep 10, 2009

  Recently widowed, I’m grief stricken. I just don’t look or act my best. On one hand people say “Be gentle and kind to yourself.” and on the other they tell me about the lastest and greatest self improvement book, system ect or tell me about the best colorist in town who could give me a visual makeover for a scandalous price or offer me kittens, puppies and a zoo full of animals to fill a void that is unfillable.

  The effort to “fix” me is almost funny. However, grief isn’t fixable with a new tape program, it simply takes time to feel the feelings and rebuild a life, not with a fairy blueprint of how tos but by living and making wise decisions and yes, being gentle with yourself. Yourself being the magic word. You have to be with yourself to learn the answers to the next step and choose the self help wisdom carefully.

  Grief and loss aren’t about creating an improvement, but melting into a new life.

  >^..^<
  Marie

• 6 Deborah Sep 10, 2009

  I HATE the feeling of being snookered! I know that “not knowing how” is one of my things; feeling that I don’t have enough information has grounded more than one terrific project with absolute inaction. So when marketing plays on the information you HAVE to have in order to succeed I have to be really really careful.

• 7 Lea Howell Sep 10, 2009

  I once saved $25.00 a month, for almost a year, to attend a class that would teach me how to get THE job to improve my cashflow! Now, I’m thinking, “how many Jennifer Louden books I could have on my shelf now for those monthly $25.00 savings?” In all honesty, I took the class, it was glorious, loud, exciting, packed with information…..and I left there really pumped up! But, I still didn’t make the business happen….and I felt (feel) like I failed.
  The things that I REALLY needed to make it happen, were not bought with that money……they were fanciliy covered up by it! Now….she’s richer than ever, and I’m not.
  But, every morning this week, I get up and can’t get to my computer fast enough to read these morsels of goodness….something that is not covering up what I need….but sweetening my life where it needs it the most! Thanks Jen!

• 8 rebecca Sep 10, 2009

  I must admit I’m careful about buying stuff online, but then I have limited discretionary funds. I also avoid blogs where the intent is clearly just to sell something and they offer very little real content.

• 9 Alexia Sep 10, 2009

  Thanks for all this – the freedom from self-improvement thing is sinking in.

  Not to mention I also despise the fear-based marketing, even if it’s carefully cloaked – my BS detector goes off pretty quickly. Good to know I’m not the only one sick of it.

• 10 Deb Owen Sep 10, 2009

  There’s the traditional, “if you don’t buy now, you’ll never ever get this opportunity again” thing. (Although, ‘buying now’ if we’re talking about something like a course, which has a timeline involved, doesn’t bother me as much.)

  Here’s the one I’ve been seeing lately that makes me chuckle, mostly from people who are in the spiritual community.

  It goes something like this:
  “I’m not worried about selling you anything. In fact, I’ll let you in on some marketing secrets because I respect you too much to do them. People will tell you things like ‘you have to buy now’ but I don’t want to pressure you because I care.”

  Then they go on to explain how much they usually charge and it’s because they really are the best at what they do, and that they really could be doing ‘better’ things with their time and making more money, but out of the goodness of their heart, they’re offering ‘this-or-that’ at a really great price. “And in fact, while I really care about you, I’ll be raising my prices even more soon because I’m so in demand, and this thing really will change your life, but since I’m so busy, I may never offer it again so ‘buy now’ But I don’t want to pressure you because I care”

  I know marketing is kind of a necessary evil, and I’m almost positive that my own efforts come off in ways they aren’t intended at times, but that one is my favorite, I think.

  All the best!
  deb

• 11 Gayatri Sep 10, 2009

  My first thought reading today’s post was, “what on earth does fear-based marketing have to do with freedom from self-improvement?” Picture the frown in my forehead when I get into deep thinking mode. Hmm. Scratch my head. “What deep profound connection am I missing here?” Still thinking. And, reading the wise, generous comments above, I am flowing. Reflecting. I want to share though that this freedom from self-improvement is tied up the marketing in real tangible ways for me. On Monday, one of the decisions I made was that I wasn’t going to buy anything this month. No new clothes for the kids or myself. No manicures. No educational books or toys for the kids (this is an addiction, btw). And, the time-pressure course on purposeful self-employment that the generous coach offered only until midnight on September 7th. I let the deadline pass. With a smile. All these “no’s” feel like abundance for me. Saying “no” doesn’t deprive me of anything. It makes room for more of what I really desire. Smile.

• 12 Cynthia Morris Sep 10, 2009

  Love this! Thanks for calling BS on this kind of scare tactic. I appreciate your honesty and also love the self-improvement-free week!
  You rock.

• 13 Christine Myers Sep 10, 2009

  The snookering that’s gotten me involves the potential “leverage” offered: Whatever amount of money you invest in the product/service is nothing compared to the amount you will get from your new-found knowledge. They make it sound like an investment with immediate and amazing returns.

  I am in the process of forgiving myself for falling for these gimmicks which have only hurt my finances. It was a hard lesson to learn but I’m now more in tune with my gut in regards to all this snookering.

• 14 Joely Black Sep 10, 2009

  What a brilliant post and what a refreshing thing to read!

  I confess to being tired of the “if you think negative thoughts it’s your fault!” attitude (I have depression, it’s an illness, not a personal failing).

  I’m tired, also, of the gurus who define what is acceptable thinking and what is not, the productivity nutcases who think you’re a failure if you haven’t climbed Kilimanjaro before breakfast, and anybody who thinks if you feel low because something bad happened that you’re having a “pity party” and need to get over it.

  Thank you so much for this week, it’s so refreshing!

  Rant over.

• 15 Anne in Virginia Sep 10, 2009

  A few months ago, a friend in my business networking group recommended an online business startup/marketing course she had purchased. I was interested in what the purveyor, a woman, had to offer until I started reading her story. She spent most of the article describing the fancy house, car, and high-priced lifestyle she’s now enjoying because she adopted the techniques she teaches in her course. It became clear that the “hook” was greed and get-rich-quick, and the marketer implied that you were a fool if you didn’t buy into her values–and buy her expensive course. I was completely turned off and felt sorry for my friend, a good-hearted woman who organizes tours to promote international understanding and peace.

  I am more likely to get “hooked” by the second kind of appeal that Jen mentions: “With this handy product, you can solve that intransigent problem for once and for all.” Thanks for the reminder that I do not need saving from myself. The “problem” may have a message to deliver, and it won’t leave my life until I listen, no matter how many infoproducts I buy.

• 16 Jennifer Sep 10, 2009

  Each of your brilliant comments describes that moment of fear that we are hooked by. I’m practicing forgiving myself for when I’ve gotten hooked as well… and even more forgiveness for thinking I would ever use such techniques myself!

• 17 Christine Martell Sep 10, 2009

  Yes, so frustrating to have to begin a coaching conversation by undoing the fear imposed by those who are trying to get their own passions out in the world, yet are perhaps unintentionally reinforcing what they say they are working against. Such a delicate balance. Thanks for calling out attention to it, and for calling out to a more mindful relationship to how we cast our gifts out into the world.

• 18 Lynn Hess Sep 10, 2009

  Jennifer, I am new to your blog and site…just found it this week and have been absolutely luxuriating in the acceptance — it’s like letting out a big, relaxing sigh every time I read one of your posts. I’m so grateful to have found you!

  I never want to stop growing and learning, and I truly enjoy classes, retreats, blogs, CDs, and everything “self-helpy.” I think the shift for me in reading your posts this week has been in changing the way I think about why I love them. Simply changing my language and calling it “growth” instead of “self-improvement” changes everything. Growth is organic and natural expansion, done with love and self-acceptance. Self-improvement implies that there was something wrong (or less than perfect) with me to begin with.

  Your post today hits close to home. I am a coach with a fairly new practice, and I have to admit that I have been very slow to put myself out there and let people know I’m available and describe what I have to offer because I’m just so darn paranoid about sounding anything like this hype-based marketing style that you mention. I have been doing a lot of thought investigation about my beliefs about sales, marketing, money, and all that entails. It can be tricky to find a balance between being too timid and not believing in myself and my offerings and, on the other hand, getting too caught up in the “experts’” version of how I am “supposed to” market myself if I want to make a living, which makes me doubt my own instincts.

  Wonderful food for thought! Thanks!

• 19 Shawna R. B. Atteberry Sep 10, 2009

  I don’t buy a lot of stuff online because I’m just frugal (and cheap, I’ll admit it). But I always feel bad about it because that class/book/whatever might I have something I really, really need.

  I am no longer going to feel bad about it. This post and comment thread has more than shown me that most of it doesn’t work anyway.

  Thanks for this series Jen. It is incredible.

• 20 Liz Sep 10, 2009

  This post reminds me yet again that the whole thrust of ‘improvement’ whether it’s your waistline, skin tone, inner peace or business that we’re talking about is that it’s not OK the way it is… that’s why it needs improving. Truly feeling free from the need to improve anything allows us to consider whether this or that product/ service/ subscription/ etc.. is really right for us at this moment. Sometimes the answer is yes- sometimes no- but at least we get to hold the question in peace.

• 21 EmilyRoots Sep 10, 2009

  Hoo boy, this one hit home in a big way. Not because I do spend money on these things or get snookered, but because I constantly wonder if I *should* be spending that way.
  I’m not easily taken in, which is lucky for me, but life has been delivering me repeated lessons in self-acceptance lately, and your Freedom from Self-Improvement “vacation” has been very provoking. In a good way. I’m with Lynn above who tends to look at it as “growth.” No need to force. But let’s just turn over the self-stones one at a time and see what else might be here, yes? More like a gentle, deliberate examination of what’s there, and a curiosity to learn more.

• 22 Jen Sep 10, 2009

  Hey Jen! One of your Taos retreaters here…

  Anyway, thanks so much for this post. I have admit I get sucked more into things than self-improvement type stuff, but in the end, it’s all sort of the same. “Once I have THIS laptop or THAT software or THE OTHER notebook & pen (or whatever), I’ll finally get my stuff done.” Silly. A work in progress.

• 23 Sally F Sep 10, 2009

  Hooray, Molly Gordon! Easy tip, great question. “Why would I want to change THAT?” I’m sending a link to my mom right now. Thanks.

• 24 Tweets that mention Freedom From Self-Improvement: No More Fear-Based Marketing » Comfort Queen -- Topsy.com Sep 10, 2009

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• 25 Kat Sep 10, 2009

  Love, love, love reading the wise comments and thoughts shared here.

  I am not prone to buying much online self help and don’t have an internet business, yet I do get a lot of newsletters and still spend too much time reading them and the related offers searching for the elusive secret which will finally grant me happiness and thin thighs – instantly! Jen, I love how you get at the insidious nature of this marketing. I am motivated to rethink my subscriptions and let go of those which do not serve me.

  I do sometimes buy a product that is reasonably priced and easily affordable as an exchange of energy to providers who have indeed shared useful information and “done the leg work” for my benefit. I was considering buying a book and after I read Jen’s blog, reconsidered but now think that it does fall into this category. I have also decided not to buy what might have been a very useful product simply due to icky marketing campaigns.

• 26 Sharon Lippincott Sep 10, 2009

  Thank you, thank you, thank you! A couple of months ago I signed up with close to a dozen lists promoting the latest and greatest “learn from my mistakes” teleseminars, CD sets, you name it. It has been a fascinating experience as I watched, listened, read and analyzed, and yes, yes, yes! I see how easy it would be to get snookered. I did pick up on a lot of fear-based stuff. Heck, it was pretty close to listening to the sermons on being saved I was subjected to for many years.

  Bottom line, a lot of what they are promoting seems to be valid. But not for my product, my market, and especially, my ethics. I’m not going to spam people with invitations and reminders.

  The other thing they don’t tell you that became apparent, is to make all this stuff work (internet marketing), you are going to need to shell out another huge wad of cash, every month, for services, like a store-front, contact management service, etc.

  For that you need an in-demand product or service.

  No thanks. This is not for me. I don’t need or even want to get rich overnight. I’m already rich in all the ways that count.

  Thank you again for shining your light on this scam mentality.

• 27 Hope Sep 10, 2009

  My primary sign is any sort of blanket guarantee paired to an unmeasureable expectation – “if you’re committed enough, the program will absolutely make you rich!” Not only is it guileful, it puts all the blame on the snookered consumer when it doesn’t work.

• 28 Silvia Sep 10, 2009

  Bravo Jennifer,
  that’s what I feel & think, too.
  all that “one-time-offers” that expire at once as soon as we leave the site, leaving us behind without courage, without vision, without trust in our creatorship… and eating us up in means of time and self-confidence and the feeling of having missed the big change…
  I always refused to be part of it and felt disappointed about so much “propaganda” in places I look for support and ideas and oneness.
  thanks a lot

• 29 Vicki Sep 10, 2009

  Thanks for a great kick in the rear about following my own instincts about how to market my coaching. I never thought about how the drive for self-improvement button gets pushed by the marketing for various ‘how to improve your business’ programs. I, too, am just building my coaching business, and because I don’t like selling, I think everyone knows how to do it better than I do. But, like most people here, I HATE the arm twisting, deadlines, etc. Just because that seems to be the dominant form of sales out there, doesn’t make it right. Isn’t it just possible that if you offer something of quality, and let folks know it’s out there, that you can have clients without all the smarmification?

• 30 Jennifer Sep 10, 2009

  Your comments have made my day and got me thinking, “What is the feminine way of marketing? How do we offer our services without being smary?” I know Molly and Mark help and there may be room for more conversations about this!
  Thank you for your mindfulness and authenticity – what a breath of beauty.

• 31 Mahala Mazerov Sep 10, 2009

  What a hot topic! I’m so happy you wrote about it, Jennifer, and I appreciate your unique spin on the issue.

  I think of myself as a generally discerning person, but I too have been “snookered.” I think it goes without saying how many of these marketing techniques feed upon human psychology to gain their responses.

  I finally bought myself a copy of Robert B. Cialdini’s Influence: Science and Practice. A very interesting and useful read.

• 32 Thien-Kim Sep 10, 2009

  I hate that kind of marketing too. Right now I couldn’t afford those even if I felt so included. Sadly it must work for many if some many people use this method.

  Yes, I do get a lot of newsletters that I don’t read.LOL! For my party plan business, there’s always some guru that claims to make you more money, etc.

  Thankfully, my company has gone back to basics. Reminding us that our biz isn’t hard and to just do what has been working for years and years!

• 33 Jacqueline Sep 10, 2009

  The feeling of time pressure is definately the number one thing for me. But really, can I not think about it and decide tomorrow? I get that a lot from home improvement businesses.

  I love the coupons. I got some for me, and I am printing some for my friends too. I am going to start handing them out at random! If someone puts themselves down or expresses that they wish they were different I will reach into my purse and hand them a coupon. Thanks so much.

• 34 Barbara Sep 10, 2009

  Wow, Jen, what a great post. You captured this topic impeccably, in my opinion. The tone of the offers — online intimacy, fish bowls and golden doors — is so enticing, and success is just one spendy course away. Hah! I think like so many of these responders, that the answers are closer to home, and that’s why we find answers when we’re closer to ourselves, like when we take time (and spend our money) on retreats, where we can uncover and listen to the knowing inside. Thanks for your wisdom on this topic and the courage to put it out there.

• 35 Emily-Sarah Sep 10, 2009

  I found you by way of wonderful Sarah Bray (sjoystudios.com). Oh.my.gosh. I’m just glad you weren’t selling anything for real at the end. I think I would have hyperventilated to tick-in to Paypal to buy your-answer-to-everything.

  Seriously, I know the pushy time-sensitive “guru” ploys you’re talking about, and sometimes it can seem (almost) so convincing. ‘Cause we’re worth it, and we believe, and of course we’re committed to our Highest Success, blahblahblah. I recently attended a seminar that was actually a thinly veiled attempt to upgrade participants. (It was about 15% real info and 100% crap {yeah, I know that’s more than 100% total}; the speaker had the audacity to tell the audience we needn’t tell him we were serious about our biz if we didn’t take advantage of the one-time special offer of HIS program that cost several thousand dollars. {good only while he was talking, of course, and they were kind enough to provide financing options.}) No, I did not bite. I did roll my eyes and squelch the desire to yell FIRE! to protect the more susceptible in the crowd.) It’s wrong, the marketing methods some employ in an attempt to get a harvest off someone else’s life-dream tender spot.

  Thanks for the needed reminder that it’s not just OK to say no, sometimes it’s imperative. ‘Cause after all, we’re worth it.

• 36 Laura Sep 10, 2009

  I’ve been convinced for many years that I needed fixing because my ex husband stopped loving me. He didn’t want to be married anymore. He didn’t want to work things out with us, so fundamentally I thought it was my fault, and that the blame was rightfully on my shoulders. We divorced and I left St. Louis and went west and started a new life, but viewed myself as damaged goods. Still do, despite having remarried.. because I still feel like something’s missing in my life, I’m falling short somehow, and so I’m a sucker for all the books and programs that market to people like me that if I only learn to live in the moment, and learn to be my true authentic self, whatever that is at this point, my flaws will disappear, I will be fixed and loveable and complete.. My bookshelves tell me I’m the target audience because I am always drawn to a self help book here and there thinking somehow it will answer my questions.. I’ve yet to find the answer that convinces me I don’t need to be fixed..

• 37 Gail Sep 10, 2009

  Jen -

  Thank you for your thoughtful assessment of the pull upon us all to buy the latest products . . which are always outdated before the credit card’s cleared . . and so in need of replacement by the latest latest products. It never ends, does it? I don’t believe it’s meant to.

  And it’s not about selling. It’s about power. And it sucks us in faster than we can push away, because we want so much to believe in the answers they’re peddling.

  It’s not even that’s they’re bad answers. It’s that they aren’t the answers we’re looking for. Those have to come from inside. Yet for some reason, we want to trust what’s out there more than we trust what’s in ourselves. And that’s what gets us in trouble.

  So we spend money we don’t have for ever more products we don’t need, and end up wondering why none of it seems to bring us success.

  I know. I’ve spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on the wares of the internet marketing gurus. And I did learn from some of them. Most of their marvelous products are still piled up in boxes waiting for some external switch to reignite my fascination, though. I’m fairly sure that’s not going to happen.

  There was a lesson for me to learn from all the buying frenzies. It was a lesson of time and patience with myself – not an easy one. What I know now is that I have to go inside to find and feed the soul of my business, and to discover how to work from the inside-out. The real learning isn’t always what we’re expecting.

  Even knowing what I know now, I realize I’ll probably get sucked in again. I want to trust. And though I’m stronger, I’m still way too easy when it comes to such things. I want to believe in that other person.

  Ahhh, well, I’m poorer now than I was back then – monetarily. But I know I’m wiser. In the end, what’s important is that I know I’m making the right choices for me and for the people I serve. Guess that means giving myself permission to count on others I trust to help when I need it.

  Aren’t lessons great?!

  See you again soon. Thanks for letting me share. – g

• 38 Letty Sep 10, 2009

  This is sooo true!! In me, these types of advertisements create Anxiety. And the release for anxiety is to get the thing. I call it the “fat thighs syndrome”. I’m perfectly fine, then I come across one of these ads for dieting or jeans, or a new program, or whatever, and I feel like my thighs have expanded like a sponge! But they haven’t. It’s my own insecurity that is being triggered by ads.

  Before the internet, I would get stressed with magazine advertisements. So I cancelled all my subscriptions and I also avoid TV. This alone cut down on my anxiety in a big way. I love what you say : There is no golden door!

• 39 Carrie Sep 10, 2009

  It’s always so difficult to know who to believe when you are depserately looking for help. Thank you for the perspective… and good luck to all of us to win a spot in the virtual retreat.

• 40 Renee D. Sep 10, 2009

  Hi Jen! I’m here calling bullshit right alongside you, from another perspective.

  I’ve been a wholistic website designer and consultant for several years now, co-creating sacred space on the web for my clients. Lately I’ve had several new requests for cost estimates from individuals and companies who are wanting me to create a space that feels nothing at all like ‘sacred’. It feels exactly like what you’re describing – a great big marketing schmooze of the sort that makes me want to put a disclaimer at the top of every page: Pack your bags, visitors, you’re going on a guilt trip.

  I have so far turned down each of these types of sites, despite the incredulous looks from my peers. In good conscience I can’t be a part of supporting that way of doing business. My interest is in a more organic, natural, co-creative way of operating, and supporting others in that line as well.

  We create our own realities. We have the ability to change the business sector of our society into a more organic, natural way of being, and doing business. We choose, in every moment. There’s great power in that.

  Not only do we choose as consumers, but also as providers of services and products in the business sector. There is no better satisfaction than know abundance has come through integrity – on all levels.

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• 42 Erica Sep 11, 2009

  I just canceled a subscription to one of these “classes” yesterday. It’s not usually my thing, but I was reading a lot of internet business blogs, I’m in the middle of a mild career path crisis, and in a vulnerable moment I caved. I didn’t find what I wanted, and I was generally turned off by the content, but I couldn’t explain why. Unsubscribing was way more difficult than I’d anticipated, and it was a real moment of clarity to see how easy it is to fall into the fear mindset. Thanks for putting your finger on the things that were disturbing me about this experience; I hadn’t gotten that far yet, and I appreciate the leg up!

• 43 Vicky White Sep 11, 2009

  Thanks Jen for this wonderful post. I know I find marketing really tricky – wanting to find that place of sharing what I have to offer with those who might benefit, and knowing people don’t read everything that arrives in their Inboxes so I can’t just mention it once – always searching for that balance and being kind to myself when I don’t get it right.

  I do feel it’s all about remembering who we really are – who I really am!

  When we remember who we really are, we’re limitless, joyful and abundant too – it’s all there.

  Just need to get out of my own way sometimes! And surround myself with people who remind me when I forget!

• 44 char Sep 11, 2009

  I’ve only skimmed the comments and intend to read them more carefully later. I just wanted to say – before I forget – that the one that gets me the most is those comments from marketing professionals who incidentally mentioned that they just got a (fill in the blank)- something completely luxurious or unnecessary in my mind, like a 3rd nose ring or a new age-y massage that lasted 3 hours – and then go on to say how they love what they do so much.
  They are much more subtle than to say that “you can have this too.” Instead, they may talk about how they’ve made errors with their staff and other humble things on their way to learning.
  It feels (and I know that my feelings may have nothing to do with their intent) manipulative to me – seems there is a recipe there.
  1 part humility
  1 part mistakes
  1 part genuine spirituality
  1/2 part unnecessary luxury
  and the result is-
  an imperfect business that they are running, while making a profit. the inference is follow me and you can practice your genuine humility, mistakes and spirituality and make a profit. you can make the same mistakes, be humble and indulge in your own “unnecessary luxuries”
  there may not be a direct request like “buy my product so you can live this life” – it’s hard to put my finger on what it is that makes me feel urgent, inadequate and that this is the fix that will solve all my problems.
  what i can say is that now that you’ve described the symptoms of this so clearly, i can spot that recipe more easily.
  i have a moratorium on any marketing products other than the ones i own right now.
  since i’m not broken and i have more than enough marketing products, if i need a resource i have plenty of tools available.
  the biggest resource is me – and your freedom from self improvement week has helped me see that i can trust that resource.
  i do these exercise dvd’s and the instructor says “you can’t do this wrong. if you go left and i go right, what’s the difference.” – that’s my attitude about everything in my life.
  i now know i can’t do this wrong.
  i’ll learn things no matter what i do – or don’t do.
  jen – you’re too awesome for words. thanks so much.

• 45 Michael Sep 15, 2009

  Jennifer,

  You’re so right – It’s so easy to fall into the self-help you’re-not-good-enough trap.

  Every single one of us are constantly able to grow and learn, doesn’t mean we have to. Not to mention very little learning happens when we are forced to learn something…