My friend Michael Neill’s new book Feel Happy Now! is out in the U.S. and it’s a must have. I am friends with Michael, true, but he was a coaching client first and then a friend, and he’s a friend because he’s kind, incredibly smart, and dedicated to making good information that really helps people available – and being a great Dad and husband and having fun while doing it.
Here’s an excerpt:
One of my favorite quotes, for which I have never satisfactorily found an author, is: ‘Life isn’t measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments which take your breath away.’
In the past week I have had my breath taken away by:
- my four-year-old daughter’s giggle when I tucked her in for the night
- hearing my nine-year-old daughter singing along to High School Musical
- watching my 12-year-old son dancing when he thought I wasn’t looking
- seeing my wife coming down the stairs dressed to the nines for an evening out
- seeing my dogs cuddled up with one another sound asleep on the sofa
- the view out over the valley on a midnight hike with a friend
- a scene in a movie about a family who lived in a lighthouse
Each time your breath is taken away by the beauty of nature, love or even a sappy, happy movie, you are born again into that moment – and by taking the time to collect those moments you get to relive them whenever you choose.
While I am not advocating getting all your medical advice from Julie Andrews, you could do worse than make a list of a few of your favorite things – you may find that suddenly, you feel glad.
To put this into practice, make a list of all the things you can think of that ‘make’ you happy, from the sound of a cat purring to the taste of your favourite food. Carry the list with you at all times and add to it whenever you can.
Whenever you are feeling a bit down and in need of a pick me up, read through your list until you begin to feel an inner smile. Let that smile flow through your whole body until you are once again feeling good on the inside.”
I know that the ideas in Michael’s book work because I’ve been using them since he sent me the U.K. version so do yourself a favorite and get on the Happiness train!
Related posts:
8 responses so far ↓
1 CirceNona Jan 15, 2008
You’re absolutely right about how this does work, whether it’s a list of the favorite things that take your breath away or what I call a “gladitude” list, the thought or act of consciously choosing to focus on the postive instead of the negative is what makes you appreciate the little things in life you might otherwise miss.
With my husband in Iraq, it gets me through each day! Some days I’m just glad and grateful the day is over and I survived it. I put my gladitudes on my blog or in my Aittude of Gladitude on MySpace, or in one of my journals. It doesn’t matter where, just the act of removing them from my head and heart and getting them out into the universe seems to make them more magical.
2 Chris Em Jan 16, 2008
Ten lifetimes ago I was working 10-hour days doing 13 to 15 massages per day at a large resort hotel. The work was brutal and it took it’s toll, but I loved the clients and I loved the work.
At the end of some days my hands would be red and swollen and bruised. The first thing I would do when I got home was make a cup of tea and use the cup as a warm compress for my hands.
One night, after a particularly long day, my hands were a mess. I came home, went directly to my tea and then sat down with children to watch watching a video. I had no idea who Pee Wee Herman was. I appalled by the opening scenes. ‘Who is this guy and why is he on my television?!’ was all I could think. I suggested another video but the kids voted me down. I was too tired to argue so I sat there, darkly wrapped around my cup of tea watching this inane idiot prance around.
My heart didn’t engage until there was a scene of Pee Wee’s 1950′s black and white and red kitchen. There it was — an eat-your-heart-out Rube Goldberg-style invention covering an entire counter top that could flip pancakes. In the corner there was a humongous dog house with a neon ‘open’ sign across the top for a little, itsy, bitsy dog.
The scene of the bathroom was the one that got me good. He pushed aside the window curtains and was leaning into the glass to yelling ‘Good morning!’ to his various friends when the fish swam by. Tooooooo Coooooool.
I spent the rest of the movie with the thoughts, ‘I pay the rent! I can have anything I want!! Why not something fun and outrageous??’ But I couldn’t come up with anything!
At the end of the video I pulled out two 5/8″ cards. Across the top of one I wrote ‘I Adore It When:’ and across the other I wrote ‘The Lights In My Eyes Shine When:’ After two or three hours of not being able to think of anything more to write on the cards, I left them on the dining room table and went to bed in tears because I was so depressed.
The next morning, my two older daughters were getting breakfast when they saw the cards on the table. “What’s this about?’ they wanted to know.
When I told them they looked at each other and started to laugh.
“Mom! When was the last time you were able to walk by a bead store with out stopping??” demanded one.
“How about rock shops and crystals?” asked the other with a smile.
After that they took turns –
“Mounds Candy Bar!” (Yummmmm. . . )
“Crome!” (Yes, I do have a thing for shiny!!)
“Used book stores on a rainy day!!” (Can anything be so lovely?)
“Red anything!” (Yup.)
They went on and on in raucous hilarity.
They got the pump primed. After that it was easy to fill out both sides of the cards and then some.
When I was finished with the lists I remember sitting there, reading through them and allowing myself to feel their importance to me. Mostly small, insignificant things to be sure. But I knew they’re the things that keep the lights on and the home fires burning.
Unfortunately, sadly, I realized they didn’t exist in my daily life. Even on an occasional basis they didn’t exist. I made some decisions knowing the busyness of my life would eventually change.
I decided to take the time and energy to notice the humor as well as the beauty of what was around me and to acknowledge the gift of it’s presence.
I decided the world would not fall apart if I got lost in a favorite shop or book store for a couple of hours once in a while.
I subscribed to National Geographic and my favorite beading magazine in order to keep the juices flowing.
I decided that maybe the Mounds Bar was an act of sanity.
Since then, once a year or so I run across the cards and read through them. The lists haven’t gotten a lot longer but the decisions have changed and evolved along with my life.
3 claudine hellmuth Jan 17, 2008
so nice to hear your lovely voice on today’s smARTIST telesummit call!!
xxxox
4 Tara Jan 17, 2008
Watching my teething one-year-old son bounce around the room after the Tylenol kicked in tonight took my breath away! I was reading the bedtime story when he wiggled away and proceeded to stuff his toothbrush in every little nook he could find. His giggles were infectious, and my daughter and I gave up on the story to watch his little adventure instead.
When I put up my website I decided to dedicate a whole page to Gratitude. It’s the page that gets updated most regularly, as I consider it more important than client references!
I’ll be looking for the happy book Jen! Thanks for recommending it. I also love “Achieving Real Happiness” by Kenneth Hildebrand. I just pulled it down from my shelf. Haven’t read it in years. Thinking of you and praying for you often.
5 Lisa Johnson Jan 21, 2008
I want to thank you for stopping by my little blog and leaving a comment. I love your book “The Life Organizer” and could’nt believe it, when you left a comment. It feels like we are some what connected, because it feels as if you wrote the book, exactly at a time, when I needed it. Thank you for helping me open my eyes to life, MY LIFE.
6 Bernadette Feb 10, 2008
Hey Jen Strangely enough I have had Michael’s daily emails for some time now and last week in our bookless town, his book practically jumped off the shelf. I am going to buy it tomorrow I love his style! I so resonate with your posting about being happy, when I coach really cheesed off, depressed clients, we look at what could make them happy, what has made them happy and what are they honestly happy about right now…no matter how bad things are, we can always find something to smile – even weakly – about. You’re sounding in a lighter place – much love. Berni Darnell
http://www.acreativewoman.com
7 Julie Jordan Scott Feb 15, 2008
I felt compelled to drop by today to see if you had posted anything lately and just let you know you were floating around in my heart.
8 Anxious Thoughts Apr 16, 2008
The Happy book sounds great. I look forward to reading it.