I’m writing this from the Hartford airport, having just finished crafting the Surfing the Edge of the Known retreat with my brilliant (and cute) teaching buddy Molly Gordon.  I am busting with gratitude- no, that isn’t strong enough- amazement, glee, wonder, happiness: my heart is ten sizes bigger.  Perhaps Sarah the Lion-Hearted said it best: "It isn’t what I’m doing, it is how I’m being with it.  That is where I want to focus." 

A quote I read this weekend sums up the fruit of this weekend’s process: “Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Things are always in transition, if we could only realize that. Nothing ever sums itself up in the way that we like to dream about. The off-center, in-between state is an ideal situation, a situation in which we don’t get caught and we can open our hearts and mind beyond limit. It’s a very tender, nonagressive, open-ended state of affairs…Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic – that is the spiritual path.” Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart

The freedom I broke through to (one of the benefits of co-facilitating is I get to participate too!) is it isn’t about knowing what could I do next or figuring out what is the highest expression for my gifts.  These questions take me out of the holy place Pema has named. Not knowing is actually the gift!  There isn’t anything to know! This is the opportunity for richer, deeper, more vibrant learning and that is all that matters. It is as if I’ve been focusing on my nose and missing the Alps unfolding right in front of me!

In our last visualization, exploring the surfers we are, instead of being alone on my surfboard out in the huge waves, dolpins and an Orca and a grey whale came to hold me steady.  The sea was gently rolling and the animals helped me surf the huge rolling waves, when I was ready.  And I did, with a huge grin on my face.