As you may know already, I’m just back from a fabulous, soul-rejuvenating, mother-daughter connecting spa retreat. Being the natural teacher and learner that I am, I have a few tips for your next mother-daughter trip, or girls’ weekend, or family vacation!

1. Set a Budget and Adjust by Heart

The spa Lillian and I went to offers a lot of adventure excursions and cool health services, which could have quickly added up to a whole lot more money on top of our already not-inexpensive tab. I wanted to be prudent, and yet not let my discomfort with spending money get in our way, so I kept pausing and checking in with my heart to see if I was being fearfully cheap vs. fiscally prudent. I dropped inside myself, breathed and asked, “Is this something we would really benefit from experiencing together?” As a result, I was able to let go of the guilt and striving to have the perfect vacation, and relax into what we were doing.

2. Confer about Expectations

I told Lilly that part of what would make the trip grand for me was if she hiked with me one morning and we unplugged – no email, Facebook or TV during the day. I asked her what she wanted to be sure we did – or didn’t do. It’s so much easier to nurture yourself and enjoy each other if you take time to get clear about what would satisfy you AND discuss that AHEAD of time!  (I can’t wait to share with you some powerful ways to do that in an upcoming little surprise I’m working on)  Sure, it can be awkward to talk about this ahead of time but the benefits are ginormous.

3. Listen to the Soft Animal of Your Body

On vacation (okay, in life) I err on the side of too much, in an attempt to suck the marrow out of each moment, while Lillian likes to do less, relax more. What we both did was listen to our sweet bodies. When we wanted to nap, we napped. When we wanted to bike ride, we rode. When she needed to nap and I didn’t, I went for a bike ride alone (and had a wonderful epiphany that is part of my new project/surprise mentioned above… stay tuned!). We kept letting our bodies speak to us, and letting what they said be perfectly okay.  Let your body come along on your next retreat or vacation.

4. Trust What is Bigger to Do the Nurturing for You

I find God in nature. I find meaning in nature. I find just about everything I truly need in nature. The first day at the spa, I found myself silently fretting that Lillian wouldn’t connect with the beauty of the canyons, that instead she would spend too much time inside, that I should have made her hike more as a kid… and then, we went for an afternoon bike ride. The canyon’s colossal march of eons unfolded on either side of us, the striations of white and red, the frisky spring breeze… And I had to laugh at myself. Nature doesn’t need me to do anything. Sure enough, I looked over at Lillian and she was completely rapt. How could something larger than you – love, fun, putt-putt golf – take over the work for you?

5. Give Over to Fun

In the past, my worry over spending money on fun has tarnished too many lovely moments. Be prudent, be creative, and know it has nothing to do with how much you spend or where you go, but how present you let yourself be.

As I mentioned in this week’s newsletter, let’s remember it’s the connection that matters.

Tell me what you do to help your shared adventures be more fun and more meaningful.

P.S. The spa we went to is Red Mountain Spa in St. George. I recommend it!  Tell them I sent you.