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Darling, the party has moved! After 10+ years and so many breath-taking adventures, I've laid down my crown and picked up...the Savor & Serve Experiment. Come see what it is.

More on Letting Go

Thanks for your divinely kind comments!

I received more help and info yesterday about this whole letting go business. First, from my naturopath-surfer dude-energy-out there-dude. He said that I need a reference point for letting go. To imagine or remember or ask for a reference for what this letting go feels like. Great idea! It really gave me something to stand on and to work with – although what came to mind was this huge letting go out of body experience I had 15 years ago after a sweat lodge (my first) in Canada before an epic canoe trip. This was a very intense experience… my guess it was my ego saying, "No. I don’t think so." I do know I am much, much more whole now. So on reflection, it is the perfect reference point.

Then I meet with Mark Silver and he prayed over me (Arabic flowing like dusky honey into my ears) and through our work it became clear that the part of me that says, "I do not want to build my business, I hate the word, I hate the idea. All I want to do is play" is the part of me that, at three or so,  turned away from that which I felt part of because I was "confused that things didn’t feel the same" something to do with my parents shutting down – not to do with me but them.  The words that came to me and resonated very deeply were, "It would be too hard for them." What would be too hard, I’m not certain.

The upshot was this part of me that wants to play? It’s really, completely afraid. It utterly believes it is not safe -it being showing up in the world? Building a business? Life? Again, not sure.

Also, playing off Cindy’s post, it occurred to me during my appointment with surfer shaman naturopath dude (this was before work with Mark) that I can choose to trust that I can accept more, that I can choose to trust the Divine… that sounds so trite but it felt like such a startling idea. Like trusting your ideas, your paints, your colors, your words, your love…

I will talk about that starting this Saturday at the Writer’s Spa. I’ve been having a blast coming up with some new ideas to play with… reading Writing Open the Mind by Andy Couturier for inspiration. Love this writing book!

July 27th, 2006

3 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Leonie Jul 27, 2006

    thank you sacred soul and delicious woman.

    for being present and real and divine.

  • 2 Michele Jul 28, 2006

    I honor your courage to share this unfolding for you, in essence you are doing your own ‘soul retrieval’ and making yourself Holy. Wow! And wow to those who are your sacred witness for new Holy self to emerge.
    Love,
    Michele

  • 3 Jodie Niles Jul 29, 2006

    Once again, Jennifer…so refreshing to hear you say the very things that I myself am currently thinking and experiencing…and looking at you as a mentor and knowing that the cycle is evident and consisent in us all, is more material and inspiration enough for me to really really be present with myself and my book as I continue to make the journey right along with my character.

    I thought I was the only “green” one out there who didn’t know how really stop and trust and listen and choose and learn and see…..but I see now that it’s universal and cyclic and poignant in each of our processes….and the fact that we keep reaching for that toolbox when we aren’t sure what’s wrong, or even what to fix, is enough to remind us that we ARE, in fact, trusting ourselves…..even if just enough to know how to regain centeredness and openness to Divine so that we can AGAIN trust ourselves and be in full harmony with Divine……it’s so great that as I’m experiencing this in my own life, I can hear you affirm it for me.
    Thanks.