Yesterday I taught a session of the Surfing the Edge of the Known tele-retreat. Molly Gordon and I created this learning experience together and we’ve been having the most heart-expanding, mind- tingling time learning with and from the women who are participating. We think we are, all together, designing a life course for women who have done what they set out to do and are ready to live life on the edge!
This week our subject was "The truth is not a problem." A simple concept that is maddeningly slippery to put into practice, as it has so many layers and also because making the truth a problem can be utterly invisible, transparent. The basic premise is don’t add suffering to whatever is unfolding, don’t add your idea that things should be different. Acknowledge what is happening, acknowledge your feelings, drop the shoulds or I wish or the if only, and start with the fresh canvas of this is so- now what?
For example, in the past two weeks, I’ve blogged about not writing and my shame over having limits over how much I can create in a day- if not writing and if having limits were not a problem, what becomes possible? Calm. The ability to see (yet again) how I equate productivity with safety and goodness. The awareness I actually have enough time to meet all my deadlines and my intuition is directing me to relax now.
Another example: I run a story in my head that the amount of energy I feel in my body is a big problem. I can’t channel it smoothly into work; I either stress my adrenals or wander off in seven different directions. After we ended the tele-retreat yesterday, I thought, "What if having all this energy, this electrical intensity, is not a problem?" I immediately felt this huge shift, like I had downshifted my car. My energy sank into my legs, my jaw loosened, and my focus was greatly enhanced. I felt lighter.
Where is the truth a problem for you? What would happen if you decided weighing _____ is not a problem or not having ______ blank is not a problem or always ______ is not a problem? This is NOT a permission slip for denial! It is the exact opposite- a permission slip to be present without interpretation to what is.
And if you like this subject, consider attending our upcoming Surfing the Edge of the Known retreat where we will play with this and other expansive, life altering ideas.
4 responses so far ↓
1 cindy Nov 10, 2005
well…i will tell u where the truth is a problem for me. the truth is we need each other. god made us that way. and i dont like that. i love my independence, not relying on others, and self sufficiency.
over time i have learned to do my own tune-ups, pull my own carbuerators, change out my own ignition switch, replace the blower motor on my wood stove, fix electrical and on and on the list goes.
but another problem arises closer to home in relational matters of the heart. i like to think i dont “need” people but the truth is i do. but i feel if i admit that, then i am vulnerable and then they have the power to withold what i “need”. which i definitely dont like.
whereas if i dont admit i have a need, they have no power and i live happily or unhappily ever after in denial-land.
so…this leaves me with having to accept i do need people whether i like it or not. now im having to rewire my brain!
any thoughts or input u guys??
2 Lainie Nov 22, 2005
What an enlightening idea! It reminds me of the mantra I repeat to myself… All is well and all manner of things is well. It is from the Bible, but of course I cannot remember chapter nor verse…
3 cindy Nov 25, 2005
quote is from julian of norwich. much love quote!
4 Barb Rees Dec 14, 2005
You put it so well Jennifer when you admitted you don’t allow enough time to do everything.Yes, guilty as charged as I look at the my mile long list of to-do’s today and ask myself why I try to be SuperWoman trying to handle so much.
Dr.Phil put it well when he asked those who are perpetually late(at least I’m not one of those) because they just have to take care of that one last thing “Why do we think we are so important that no one else can handle it or this task can’t wait?”
So as I contemplate my list and realize I am also preparing for my writers group potluck tonight, maybe I should just cross off half of these things and move them to tomorrow.
But the little gremlin inside asks with fiendish glee,”Wouldn’t that make you a procrastinator?” Oh,not that.. my efficient self says!
Yup,I’m sure there are many like me out there who have great dreams of making a difference in the world, changing ourselves, providing a family income etc.etc. who just need to breathe and stop heaping so much on our plates.
I’d love to hear from you.
And now I’ll BREATHE!!!
love,
Barb