Comfort is the foundation for creativity and creativity is the flower
that gives off the fragrance of service.

Dear Beautiful Ones,

You know what I love? My new book. I love using it, talking about it, seeing it in neat piles on the shelf, waiting to be mailed out. I am proud of it, beaming with pride--and that, my friends, is a new feeling for me. It's okay it's not my novel, it's awesome fresh, and I love it.

I'd love you to buy a copy (for the next three weeks, I'm signing each copy with your name and you get this really great free CD!) but more than that, I want you to hear me shout, "I claim this book and I want to spread the word to (gulp) 25 million women about it!" And I want any help you'd like to give--any and all ideas and resources to get the word out!

It makes me incredibly uncomfortable to ask you this. Why? Because in the past (as my dear college roommate Sara reminded me today) I wanted to be famous. Giving up that particular illusion was a huge task and a huger gift, and now it's time to learn to claim my desire to share my gifts with the world without getting snared in the results, and without getting snared in the idea that it makes me any better or different than I am in this moment. In other words, can I live my own advice?

"When we insist that we will only feel desire if that desire will be satisfied exactly as we want it to be, we grow smaller. 'It is possible to be in a state in which desire is valued, not as a prelude to possession, control, or merger but as a mode to appreciation itself,' states Epstein [in his wonderful book Opening to Desire].

To desire a gorgeous garden, a soul mate, deep inner peace, the ability to play Chopin, for your loved ones to live a long, happy life is to feel life rising in you like sap, exhilarating, rushing, impossibly sweet, and unstoppable. The calcifying of the desire into a must-have, an accomplishment--whether it be a custom-built house or a safari or a sculpture you made that brings others to tears--is very different and is the reason desire has gotten a bad rap. That kind of desire becomes fuel for greed and grasping (and illusion and always living in the idealized future, I would add). But when desire and the light of awareness meet, we can experience desire as energy, fuel, and Spirit speaking to us, and then it plays a very different role."*

So here it is: I'm claiming my desire to make a difference in the world AND I'm letting go of the shame and pushing and white knuckles associated with my desire. I may have to let go again and again but hey, that's why it's called a journey!

If you have ideas for promoting or spreading the word--and I know you do!--please send them to jennifer@comfortqueen.com. Other ways you can help: Buy the book. Post a review at Amazon. Call your local bookstore and tell them you love it. Invite me to town to teach a workshop. Or do nothing...because it's all good! Wow!

Love,

Jennifer

*Excerpted from MY BOOK, The Life Organizer: A Woman's Guide to a Mindful Year.

Jen Out and About
February 20, 7-8:30pm, Bainbridge Public Library, Bainbridge Island, WA. Writers' Roundtable. "How do you romance your muse and nurture your creative brilliance?" with writer Jennifer Louden. Fr*e.

February 22, 7-?pm, Third Place Books, Seattle, WA. Author Event. Fr*e. More info.

March 8, 7-8:30pm, New Renaissance Books, Portland, OR. Organize Your Life. $12 Register.

Bless this precious one
with earth kisses,
steaming bowls of hope, and
the first crocuses, all
leavened with tears from
the heart of the father

Bless her:
her cup runneth over
Goodness and mercy embrace her
all the days of her life.

Self-Care Minder
Recently, we went to a new way of talking about self-care, organized by four moods and / or stages. Click here for more info on those moods.

Depleted. I made a last-minute run to a superstore this Valentine's Day eve. At 8:45 PM, the aisles were packed with people, the desperation rising from them like heat waves as they pawed through the already-sparse racks of Valentines cards and tried to find a perfect gift amongst the discarded teddy bears and chocolate rose bouquets.

No wonder Americans are starting to feel a bit cynical about Hallmark holidays! The pressure to conform to societal expectations can leave us feeling raw, prickly and insufficient. What if we don't have a sweetie to shower with romantic love and rose petals? What if the greeting cards don't convey what we want to say? What if we just don't feel like participating in a scripted festival?

Then don't. The only way we can force society to relax its standards and open its arms to different ways of observing and celebrating is to do it ourselves, first. Here are some alternate ways of celebrating love. Pick one (or two!) that feel real to you. That's where the energy is:

*Play. Get out the glitter, paper lace doilies, and construction paper and have at it! Make a valentine for the barista at Starbucks who always remembers your order and one for the librarian at your kids' school. Feel the creative energy rise as you take the time to play.

*Reflect. Retreat for 30 minutes to a quiet spot and think about the role love has played in your life. Where do you feel love now? Where is love missing? How can you increase the amount of love coming in and going out? (Hint: Think beyond romantic love. Love for an animal, the earth, a friend, a cause, are all valid and important).

*Connect. Love in its grandest form can make us giddy with delight and as unselfconscious as a baby. What can you do to rediscover this lightness? Recall a moment when you felt completely accepted and adored.

Tapas/Heat. One good thing about days like Valentine's Day and Mother's Day (and Father's Day and Arbor Day, while we're at it!) is that they bring an in-your-face reminder of the things in our lives we have to be thankful for. One reason we may feel such pressure on days like these is that we haven't made it a practice to show our gratitude the rest of the year, so we feel like we must "get it right" this one day to make up for the other 364.

What if we were to show our thankfulness year-round on a more consistent basis? Is it possible that the pressure would lift on these "special" days? Try this:

*Sign up for an automated reminder service (tons of free ones are available online...do a Google search on "online reminders" to see a list). Fill in the "big" days (birthdays, wedding anniversaries, etc.) and think of some fun ones as well... like the anniversary of you and your best friend's "first date," or your dog's birthday. Celebrate year-round, not only when the almanac tells you to!

*Make a habit of writing thank-you notes. Acknowledgements for presents are always apropos… and what better present have you received than valuable advice, guidance, or mentoring? Make a list of the people who have helped you along your journey... your piano teacher, the neighbor who taught you to knit when you were five, your first boyfriend. Each week, pick a new name and write a short note--and mail it! (Hint: In this day of electronic communications, handwritten, stamped-and-mailed notes are a rarity. Bring back a dying art!

Joyful Desire. "We are not automatic lovers of self, others, world, or God. Love does not just happen. We are not love machines, puppets on the strings of a deity called 'love.' Love is a choice--not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile. Love is a conversion to humanity--a willingness to participate with others in the healing of a broken world and broken lives. Love is the choice to experience life as a member of the human family, a partner in the dance of life, rather than as an alien in the world or as a deity above the world, aloof and apart from human flesh." --Carter Heyward, Passion for Justic

Effortless Service. Love is rarely the Champagne and roses version we see in the movies or between the covers of a Harlequin romance. Love is often ugly, smelly, and all too real. Love is morning breath, dirty socks on the bathroom floor, diapers, and one more late-night phone call listening to a friend's tale of heartache when you'd rather be snoring.

Love is, quite simply, hard work. And it is the hard work that makes what we feel "love" and not just infatuation.

It's love that gets us up in the wee hours of the morning to rock a sick child back to sleep.

It's love that pushes us to walk 60 miles to fight breast cancer, make 20 phone calls to save the rainforest, and sit outside the grocery store in the pouring rain to raise funds for the local library.

It's love that urges us to go over a story or poem one more time to make sure it's just right before sending it off to yet another agent or editor.

Be brave enough to love fiercely, with an all-consuming fire. When you find that kind of passion and desire, don't waste time questioning why... instead, grab on with both hands. After all, it's this kind of love that feeds the hungry, builds communities, paints masterpieces, creates families, and, ultimately, will save the world. Start where you are, today, and love.

Resources You'll Love
Make space for passion and abundance! Vicky White incorporates proven Feng Shui and attraction principles, you'll transform your life inside and out! Get Vicky's free ebook "The 5 Biggest Attraction Mistakes: and how to avoid them" at and you'll be on your way.

Make 2007 your year of "aspirations" instead of "resolutions" -- with help from http://www.SuperViva.com, the online life list community for planning a life you'll want to look back on.

Artella is an online playground for writers, artists, and creative spirits overflowing with tangible passion, an authentic community, and resources for all creative souls to light their fire in ways that they never dared to dream.

Looking for a deep retreat with the inner beloved? Visit Trebbe Johnson's VisionArrow.com and learn more about her April 11-22 vision quest in the springtime hills of Tennessee and her Five-day Tryst with the Inner Beloved at The Crossings in Austin. She's a wonderful, very experienced teacher.

Ex in the City provides resources to empower women to reinvent their lives after a divorce or breakup. It guides them through the stages of EX - EXile, EXpress, EXorcise, EXplore and EXhale and features over 25 EXpert blogs and websites, and upbeat sections like sEXy EX and over 50 intriguing EX Rated City Guides.

My The Life Organizer: A Woman's Guide to a Mindful Year is now shipping! And, I am signing each book personally for the next three weeks only--your name and any message you want, including leaving it up to me. Take advantage of this offer for yourself and gifts!

Until April 1st if you purchase your Life Organizer through ComfortQueen.com, you will receive:

• A signed copy of The Life Organizer at 20 percent off the list price of $19.95;
• An audio CD bursting with additional ideas to help readers make the most of The Life Organizer, including meditations, a guided journey through the five step life organizing process, and other surprises, valued at $29.95;
• An invitation to a free tele-forum with me to discuss ways to make the life organizing process the best ever approach to creating a life that you love. The first opportunity to participate in a Life Organizer tele-forum will be February 15th at 5:30 pm Pacific / 8:30 pm Eastern. Please sign up. Jennifer will be doing additional forums later in the year also.