Musings & resources for being kind to yourself and whatever else comes to mind.

Girlfriend's Retreat Rescheduled Due to World's Largest Kaleidoscope
Read on to find out more.

The World's Largest Kaleidoscope Tries Too Hard--and So Do I

Each time I am fortunate to facilitate a retreat, I am inspired by the spirit-boggling strength, spunk, and true grit of women who are willing to pause and look at their lives, who are willing to put down the cudgel of self-blame and the burden of believing they must be everything to everybody, and to paraphrase poet Galway Kinnell, rediscover their loveliness, "for everything flowers, from within, from self-blessing; though sometimes it is necessary/to reteach a thing its loveliness..."

Kripalu was a particularly phenomenal group of women and so I got to re-remember so many truths as they shared their insights, including:

• Retreats work; taking time away in sacred space with like-minded people is like coming out on top of a mountain to a breathtaking vista and a scented cool breeze after hiking for hours in the humid mosquito infested jungle of your own mind. You can suddenly see you are neither the forest nor the trees.
• You have most of the answers you seek inside you and they really can't be heard if you never stop to listen.
• Stopping to listen is easier when you have tools--it can be hard to simply stop and listen without having some guidelines. It also requires determination. Yet if you have these and you are beating yourself up for not stopping to listen and rest sooner, you might as well skip the retreat and stay home and manage everybody else's lives.
• One of the best tools we have to listen is our bodies; to soften our bellies, to sigh and caterwaul, to dance and sway, is to come into the present in all it's ever evolving beloved wonder and that's the only place we ever hear anything.
• We make up most of the reasons why we can't regroup, rest, reflect--most of which are crapola.
• We lose ourselves by overlooking and downplaying our natural strengths and desires, and instead making everything we can more difficult, twisting ourselves into complicated knots of virtuous trying. We then feel trapped and exhausted by our industrious efforts--most of which are also crapola and would, mostly, disappear if we would follow what we love, moment by moment, and be as honest with ourselves and others as we can bear.

This last insight came crashing down on me post retreat as it's my top bugaboo right now--the insight that keeps surfacing in so many situations and kicking me in the ego until I'm nothing but chagrined: how I sap my energy and complicate my life by trying a gazillion times harder than I need. The definition of trying is to make an attempt or effort to do something. Which means I try but I don't do. I try too hard to connect with my daughter Lillian and end up missing out on connecting; I try too hard when facilitating a retreat and miss out on soaking in the magic that is created; I've tried to hard to figure out what I do and wasted years not expressing myself; I try too hard when writing and miss out on saying what I really want to say; in fact, I'm trying too hard writing this so I'm going to stop and go out on my back porch and sit in the rocking chair and ask, "What happens when I stop trying?"

Next issue, I'll talk about trying too hard and the world's largest kaleidoscope--and in the meantime, if it fits, why not ask yourself:

• Where or when do I try too hard?
• What does trying stop me from enjoying?
• What happens when I stop trying and start paying attention to what is happening naturally?

Or maybe these questions feel too trying; if so, then pour a cold one and kick back in a hammock and I'll join you.

Jen

RESCHEDULING GIRLFRIEND'S RETREAT

Due to my encounter with the world's largest kaleidoscope (details to be revealed in the next issue), I've had to reschedule the Girlfriend Tele-Retreat to TWO different dates--maybe now you can join us? We're going to:

• Enjoy a meditation to discover what you most want from a retreat – which you can share with your girlfriends who can't be on the call
• Creating sacred safe space
• Types of girlfriend retreats
• Who to retreat with--ncluding finding the right women if you don't already know them
• What to do
• How to support each other
• Getting organized and handling details
• Handling interpersonal issues
• And more!

New Dates:

July 16th, 5:00 PM Pacific, 8:00 PM Eastern
AND
July 23rd, 5:00 PM Pacific, 8:00 PM Eastern

Come to one or both! Details here.

COMFORT RESOURCES

For me, part of not trying too hard means letting my freak flag fly higher or accepting myself as is in the moment. So I was thrilled to learn Christina Frei (who I've had the pleasure of meeting at three retreats, including Kripalu) has created Dork-Central.com, this super geeky resource where dorks of all ages get to be Dork Secret Agents. Look out world! The Dork Revolution is live!

COACHING

I'm going to open my coaching practice to five clients beginning August 18th. Are you ready to explore what's next in a mood of lightness, self-kindness, and curiosity? If coaching with me appeals, then tell me a little bit about where you are in your life and what kind of support you are looking for and we can talk costs and dates. Email me at Jen@jenniferlouden.com