Comfort is the foundation for creativity and creativity is the flower
that gives off the fragrance of service.

Dear Women of the Heart,

How is your heart these days? Mine is full of humble blue tinged love--love for my Daddy who I keep dreaming has come back; for my Mom, who is taking this transition with pluck and determination with a dollop of grace; for all of your kind emails and even gifts!; for my daughter's off beat sense of humor; for the rain pouring down on my roof while I snuggle with my dog and enjoy winter's cocoon; for art making; for my decision to take off the entire month of December because I realized it's been years since I took off any extended period of time without somewhere to be or something to do. I'm not sure I'll be able to clear my life entirely--lunch duty and perhaps some work for Real Arcade will still happen. I will miss my clients and writing to you--and I may still blog.

Time off to replenish, to dream, to paint, to dive into my inner life, to read poetry, to leave behind the creeping tyranny of shoulds, to walk in the woods without a little voice nagging me to get back to work. It is time to find my rhythm again--as it will be again in the future.

One thing I've learned with age (I'm turning 44 this month) is how cyclic life is.

With hope you will take some time off soon too,

Comfort Wishes

My neighbors Japanese maple leaves scatter, red trails that leave
ghost prints on my driveway;
Leaf nectar squeezing out one more creation
before crumbling to hummus, food
for next year's bonanza.

Wishing you the wisdom and energy to discern when to squeeze and when to crumble, knowing there is always next time, next month, next year.

We want to HELP you be THANKFUL for the Holidays!

I ordered far too many books for an event I spoke at and now have boxes and boxes. My mistake is your gain. All my in-stock books are now 30% off and for every 2 in-stock books you buy we will throw in a journal FR*EE (our choice). Plus, to help you get your holiday shopping done with a flourish of specialness, until November 29th only, I'll personalize books on request (just remember to give us three extra days because I drive out to my Mom's to sign) and be sure to tell me to whom and what you wish me to say. Finally, we are offering colorful gift wrapping for FR*EE.

Stock up on the titles you've been wanting to read or buy gifts for all the women in your life who nurture others--teachers, mothers, baby-sitters, co-workers, your sister, your grandmother, your aunt... Just think how many names you could cross off your list.

Sale ends December 15th after which books are inscribed with a message and signed but I will not be available to personalize books! So get in your orders now if that's important to you!

And thanks for your support!!!

Order now at ComfortQueen.com

Self-Care Minder

Recently, we went to a new way of talking about self-care, organized by four moods and / or stages. Click here for more info on those moods.

Depleted
With the onset of autumn and then winter, 10 percent to 20 percent of the U.S. population is likely to suffer from SAD symptoms, according to the American Psychiatric Association. I certainly do! The symptoms for me aren't depression but instead, I feel like I never quite wake up.

Even though it is a little dense, a study from 2001 really gives some great insight into what can help women avoid SAD. Here is an excerpt related to vitamins--the other key components are increasing exposure to natural and full spectrum light, and moderate, yet regular exercise:

"Certain vitamins have proven effective to enhance mood in women. In 1990, a group of female and male volunteers in a double blind cross-over trial were treated with 100 mcg of selenium and showed a significant improvement on the Profile of Mood States (POMS) in 2.5 weeks (Benton and Cook 1990). In a placebo-controlled, double-blind study, women, but not men, who took 50 milligrams of thiamine for 2 months became more clear-headed, composed and energetic (Benton, Griffiths, and Haller 1997). Vitamin D supplements have shown a rapid antidepressant effect during the winter months when sun exposure, and therefore body stores of vitamin D, are most likely to be low (Lansdowne and Provost 1998). Other vitamins with demonstrated potential for mood-enhancing effects in women are folic acid (Alpert and Fava 1997), pyridoxine and riboflavin (Benton, Fordy, and Haller 1995)."

Of course, please consult your health care provider and your own body before altering your health regimen!

Resources:
Full length discussion of study along with helpful hints and self-assessment tools: http://www.thebodyblues.com/study.html

For further info on full spectrum light and it's use for SAD, visit The Circadian Lighting Association website at http://www.claorg.org or the National Association for Seasonal Affective Disorder (NOSAD) at http://www.nosad.org.

Tapas/Heat
Do you desire more ______ during the upcoming holidays? Peace, health, connection, spirituality or...? What do you want more of? Is there anything you complain about year after year? If there is something you want more of or less of, perhaps this is the year to make your yearning concrete, to take action, not with the expectation that you will get exactly what you want--don't do that to yourself – but rather with the knowledge that the action you take is where the self-care happens, not in the outcome. What sometimes keeps us stuck in this mood of needing more heat and discipline is resignation--the mood that says, "Everyone else can have a more _______ holiday season but I can't because ________" and then we trot out our list of past disappointments and blame. The past doesn't exist except through the story you keep alive. Resignation is a mood not a reality.

So for example, look at your finances. If the holidays tend to leave you drained monetarily, gear up now with a new game plan. Decide exactly how much you want to spend--not how much you "should" to keep everybody "happy." Declare the number in writing, take the money from your checking account in cash (if possible!) and spend only that. Now that's self-care!

Resources:
A helpful article on financial stumbling blocks and ideas for how to insert some fresh perspective during the holiday season.
http://www.entrepreneur.com/worklife/personalfinance/article170088.html

Joyful Desire
In the midst of "Joy to the World," savor joy in your own backyard, too; perhaps a local holiday show or a gallery night. Visit a restaurant you've never tried, take in a special rhythm exhibit, attend a fund raiser for a worthwhile charity, ask a neighbor to join you on a walk. Feed your contagious energy by being open to new possibilities. Plus, it gives you more to talk about at holiday parties!

Resources:
Imagine using your holiday cards or email to highlight a great nonprofit program in your community, doing so with a personal story versus a typical "feel guilty, give money" approach...for example, "During this holiday season, one of the things for which I am most thankful in my life is the presence of my Little Sister. We were matched when I volunteered at Big Brothers Big Sisters in 1996 and she was 12 years old. She's now 22 and I am amazed at how our friendship has evolved through the last decade."

Effortless Service
Do you long for more rituals? When our children were little, my friend Kris and I created a Winter Solstice ritual with candles and story telling and soup. It was magical and became my favorite moment of the holidays. You could have a Purification Ritual to shed negative ideas, a Storytelling Ritual where each person comes with a story about a certain person or experience that has impacted their life, or a Tree Decorating Ritual…or take an existing ritual and inject more meaning, more mindfulness, more love into it. Be a giver and a receiver this year. Rituals allow us to play both roles with equal grace.

Resources:
My favorite author on rituals is Meg Cox. She’s does a great free ezine in addition to her great books:
Archived newsletters
The Book of New Family Traditions: How to Create Great Rituals for Holidays & Everydays

Here is some background on Navajo beliefs related to ritual: http://www.navaching.com/hawkeen/ritual.html

Create a Life That Makes You Go "Wow!"

What if you don't need to do things someone else's way in order to live a happy, successful life?

I adore Michael Neill and I love his new book -- You Can Have What You Want: Proven Strategies for Inner and Outer Success – a UK best-seller! He's super smart, ethical and has much of great worth to impart in these pages. I have read and reread his book and continue to learn from it. I love how the second half of the book is arranged as a sort of "dictionary" of techniques you can apply to the nine nine major obstacles to success.

And you'll receive some cool bonus gifts (not your usual fluffy icky giveaways) if you order today at http://promos.hayhouse.com/promos/neill/1115email/

Life Organizing

This new section will focus on life organizing, the subject of my new book, The Life Organizer, previously the Inner Organizer. The book's release has been pushed back to January but why wait? Use the process now!

Make a list of everything you plan to do around the holidays, including everything you want to do and think you should to do be a good mom or aunt or employer or whatever. Take a few days or a week to keep adding to the list. Then, when it feels done, and you have a few moments of peace, do this:

Connect -- take a bath, go for a run or a walk, or simply stretch your arms overhead while you inhale and bring all the energy of the heavens into your heart.
Feel -- Put your hand on your heart and recall a time during a holiday in which you feel wonderful, blessed, alive, loved. Bathe your heart in that memory.
Inquire -- what do I most want to give during these days? What do I most want to receive?
Allow -- spend a minute or as long as you like letting these questions bloom in you; not needing an answer but letting the questions stir and spin and work their magic.
Apply -- look at your list when you feel ready and without thinking or debating, cross off everything that doesn't feel true to your heart. Do not consider whether you should or must do it--you may still do it--for now, just listen to your heart. Underline or circle every item that does speak to your heart and add anything that might need be there, even things like "spread love and cheer."

Tell me what happens! jen@jenniferlouden.com

Pre-order The Life Organizer now!

Queens from Comfort
Birthing Your Own Sovereignty

Our Yahoo community is simmering with dreams, journal suggestions and more.

Weigh in on Rose's question:

Hi Dear Queens of Comfort.......lol

I would like to know if any of you have turned your passions, interests or hobbies, etc. into a business for income and if so, did it worked out for you.

I'm not new to the business world, I have owned several. But I sure know how much time and effort it takes. So I wonder if it is a good idea to take what you love most in life and start a business where you will usually become overworked and often burnt out.

Or is it better to try to make a good living working at something you can enjoy but isn't necessarily your passion and keep your real loves for your own time just to enjoy or savor.

Rose

To join go to the Comfort Community's Home Page.