Felt like Harold liberating Maude a few moments ago when I commandeered a wheel chair to set Dad free and make the 8:10 ferry.
The sunset is amazing.
His bones are cancer free and his head is on it’s way back to normal.
I didn’t feel nearly so noble or loving today – as I wrote to one reader Lauren, "Today I want to throttle my mother and get the hell out of this stuffy hospital room and take a swim somewhere beautiful and then be LEFT THE FUCK ALONE.
Did I mention also wanting to throttle the woman across the hall that keeps moaning "I’m scared. Don’t leave me" in what might be the most annoying voice ever heard on the face of the planet?
How’s that for compassion and spiritual growth?"
Of course now, watching the sunset, Dad and Mom below in the car, I just feel great.
The ride!
Looking forward to some rest and creative coaching tomorrow.
!!!
Related posts:
3 responses so far ↓
1 Inger Nilsen Aug 22, 2006
Oh, Jen!! You make me laugh, smile and get a lil tear drop in my eye! I love it when I see spiritually aware souls taking a lil slip down cos it is so reassuring that you are human just like me! I also get the huge to throttle my Mom, sh!t all over my boyf and just run away to field of sugar cane and watch the clouds flurry by!
Thank you for drawing me back in from the isolation and loneliness.
2 Suzie Massey Aug 22, 2006
I’m with Inger! Whew! And I thought you were going all exalted on us! Thanks to the God/dess for daily reminders of our own humanity…and for the possibility of transcending all above that from time to time. Your spirit moves me! And blessings to your Papa…
3 Tara Aug 23, 2006
Reading about your experience with your dad reminds me that there are so many people going through a yucky stage in life that once consumed me. While my mother was in and out of hospital battling leukemia a few years ago I kept a journal of so many moments and feelings where I wanted to throttle my father. Feeling lost in the stuffy hospital while life went on without me was one of the hardest parts. I couldn’t have gotten through it without writing. I wish I’d known self-care existed back then. I’ve looked into trying to publish my journal and have put it in good order for submission, but I just don’t know where to start. I hear a constant whisper that this is something I’m supposed to do, but I’m still unsure. Your blog inspires…I’ll be praying for your family, especially your daddy. God bless.