I’m working on discerning the difference.

Patience is

• accepting I can do only one thing at a time
• acknowledging I have limited energy and bandwidth and no matter how much I want to be a machine, the robotization of Jen has yet to happen
• remembering launching a new project takes 3x’s longer than I think it should and what I think should happen and reality are not intimately related
• acceptance that shit happens and when it doesn’t, that’s called a miracle
• staying focused with my heart’s deepest desire by using conditions of enoughness
• testing my upper limits for creativity and happiness – how much happiness, creative juice, and love can I stand?
• not checking email or Twitter willy nilly
• reminding myself that wanting to pursue everything I find interesting is not living by my heart’s deepest desire, it is being yanked around by my adolescent stinky desire to not have to grown up and choose
• leaving my work for the day because Lilly needs me or my back hurts or because the well is dry dry dry

Stalling is

• telling myself I don’t know something when I do
• flitting flitting flitting
• waiting waiting waiting for it it it to start start start start
• writing 36,000 words of a new novel for NaNoWriMo
• not meditating first thing
• saying yes to requests for tele-summits and book endorsements, et. al. – flit flit flitter anyone?
• drinking wine or eating sugar and thinking it won’t affect my brain the next day (ha)
• thinking that there is a magic time when IT starts (had to say this one twice)

Being a self-employed creative since 1986 or something like that, this patience / stalling place is fairly familiar.

What’s different now than 1986 or 1996 and even 2006 is this relentless DO IT NOW NOW NOW thrum that feels like it could pulverize me into tiny fragmented bits if I’m not careful.

Do it now now now is not speaking the truth – its thrum stalls me in fear, it does not spur me to create or to serve.

What do you do to tell the difference between patience and stalling? When do you need to be patient and when do you need to get your mojo rising?

Please do tell, I could use the help!

P.S. Tomorrow I’ll be talking about this stuff and more in a free-wheeling conversation that is also free! Sign up above or below. Love to hear your voice and connect.

What is calling to you, what is yours to do in the world, is calling to you clearly.

Clearly!

What is calling to you to do is not one inch to the left or right, it’s not over there behind the potato chips – it’s exactly in front of you.

Yes, that flash, that gut pow, that “oh my god” you felt before you started to second guess… before a “better” idea called to you…. before you found yourself checking Twitter or organizing your FoxFire bookmarks –

that is IT.

What is calling to you is that which is so alive, so urgent, so blissful, you must shield your eyes from it.

It is that which you may think you do not deserve and certainly are not capable of giving birth to.

God is calling to you through THAT idea, that joy, that urgency.

Do whatever you want with the God word.

It’s so very tempting to get distracted, to hold yourself back, to apply the brakes and believe the thoughts that say, “It’s really complicated.You don’t understand. There are things to do first.”

Oh yes, darling, I do so understand those ever heavier temptations.

Think of Jesus in the desert, I’ll bet you the Devil said stuff like,

Look, the savior thing, cool, great idea, but you’re not quite ready yet. Another course, another year, another degree, then sure. Why not start a sandal company in the meantime?”

Do not start a sandal company.

And no, I’m not suggesting you need to be a savior of anything.

Jesus had a calling.

You have a calling.

And we all get tempted away from our callings.

Sometimes for days, sometimes for months, sometimes for our entire lives.

So here’s an idea, just for today:

Do not listen to your ego/lizard brain/ghost of your father who interrupts you with anything from a “better” idea to a mean voice to the importance of learning all about geckos. (I know, your son/daughter/neighbor just got one and it will die if you don’t research ideal gecko care right now and it’s all on your shoulders… really, I’ve heard this one before.)

Instead, breath, right here, right now.

Yes, now, not later.

A real soft belly breath.

In and out of your precious right here right now belly.

It’s okay to want what you want.

It’s how the Divine speaks to you – not through wanting the buttery leather boots or the second bowl of chocolate chip mint ice cream, but through wanting the “holy shit you can’t mean me” longings, ideas, and projects.

Breath and pick up your sword and cut through everything else that does not give voice and action to that longing.

Just for today, do not start a sandal company.

I am in the midst of changing my mission from helping women live full, healthy lives to helping women savor and save the world.

I’m letting go of my long time nickname (and URL) Comfort Queen and stepping into a whole new look and mission in the next few weeks. You’ll want to be sure and subscribe to the blog to know about the change over.

Today is a chance to preview my new mission as part of The Girl Effect Blog Campaign, created by the wonderful Tara Sophia Mohr.

What a perfect preview it is.

Picture me sitting down about 2:30 this afternoon to write this post.

I’m hep to the Girl Effect mission, familiar with the plight of girls in the developing world, huge Nick Kristof fan…

I look around the Girl Effect website, start reading the facts like “Approximately one-quarter of girls in developing countries are not in school” and “One girl in seven in developing countries marries before age 15.”

I get overwhelmed.

Within ten minutes of reading, I’m ready to crawl under my bed.

I try to force myself to write, to think of something smart to say.

Then I remembered the savor part of my mission – which, in a nutshell, simply means resting in the goodness of your heart and this moment no matter what.

I laced up my purple walking shoes and took a long walk by the water in a big ass windy storm.

The clouds scudded across a navy blue sky, the cattails sung, the scent of pine and fir and ocean and, step by step, I breathed into my heart.

I stopped trying to fix anything or write something smart.

I stopped dodging the hope and the hurt of stories like Addis’.

I stopped and breathed and savored the beauty of the day and made room for how much gratitude I have for the incredible choices my daughter has, for the safety of her life and I made room for my sorrow, my rage, and my hope to do something to help the world.

I’m not saying opening our hearts is enough – not at all! We must take direct action to save the world. Yet without beauty and nature and open hearts, we’ll crumple. We’ll hide under the bed. We’ll give up.

So breath into your heart, relax your jaw, watch the video, and visit the Girl Effect website and learn more. And take your open heart with you.

I’m taking one.

Want to join me?

Beginning December 16th, if you email me, you’ll receive this:

Thanks for your email. I am taking time to be with my family, walk in the woods, and play lots of Crazy Eights – oh and nap! -  from December 16th to January 2nd. I will not be checking email. To keep from freaking out when I return, all my email is being automatically deleted.

I value our connection and a break of quiet is so necessary for that connection to stay true.

If you need to reach me urgently, you can call me. Gasp!  (my number).

Love,

Jen

Why am I taking a digital sabbatical again?

Well, last time I found an entirely new direction for my work, so I guess I’m a believer. (Cue Monkeys song.)

This time, the obvious answer is time for my family and friends, and rest.

That’s true.

And that’s not all.

During the holidays,  I have been known to hide out in my work.

To have a big project conveniently under way.

Deadlines!

Self-importance stoking urgency!

I’m not saying that hiding in my work is bad or wrong.

It has been, and can be, a very good survival move for me. Creating grounds me, helps me remember who I am. It makes me happy.

Only I don’t want to hide through creating.

I want to connect through creating.

Connecting takes space.

Connecting is helped by Conditions of Enoughness.

What connecting is not helped by time monsters.  Time monsters are the things we do instead of what we really want, what would truly bring us alive, I write about them in my books Comfort Secrets and The Life Organizer) When I want to hide, I can waste hours on email.

For lots of other people, surfing the Internet for hours is their Time Monster. Or playing on-line games or reading forums or chatting on Twitter.

Either way, what happens is less space, less intention, less connection.

I doing it just a bit differently this season.

I say a bit because this is not about big plans or self-improvement or making something happen.

It’s about creating space. Connecting space. Napping space. Lower your standards space.

Anyway, here’s my intention:

Have Conditions of Enoughness in place that support me in loving, honestly taking care of myself, creating space to connect with my people, and to get rested for the new venture.

How exactly will I do that?

• No email from December 16th to January 2nd. I actually delete my email box so I can’t check it at all.

I’m not sure what else! If I get feeling really insane and lost and disconnected, I might want some Twitter love and to hang out with my Brain Trust on our private forums and, of course, I’ll want to connect at the Comfort Cafe.

It’s not just about digital self-care and being mindful with technology.  I also how to consider one or two COE’s around food (gluten, sugar, and eggs make me break out in hives – how much do I want to itch?), meditation, and ??

By having a few clear agreements with myself, instead of a bunch of fuzzy ones or inflated ones (I go to yoga every day, I’ll avoid all sugar, etc.) sends me into mean voices mode sooner than oh, anything.

On the other hand, giving myself some simple guidelines helps me to stay grounded and stay in my body where the mean voices have no sovereignty.

So here is my proposal:

Let’s get together and talk conditions of enoughness and other ways to keep our hearts open during the holidays.

Okay?

Join me

December 2nd

1 pm Pacific / 4 pm Eastern

I’m hosting a free call for heart opening practices and experiencing enoughness and who knows what else!

It’s free (totally!!) to listen live and get help,  discuss, share, and creatie conditions of enoughness for the holidays.

And if you want a recording, simply purchase the fab and entirely wonderful Satisfaction Finder and you’ll get it and also a chance to get coaching with me at a big reduced rate.

If you already have a copy of the SF, do nothing. I’ll remind you of the live call and post the call (edited and leveled out so you can actually listen to it with pleasure) in the private area. You can download and listen at your leisure. Or listen live. Or both!

Not sure the call or the Satisfaction Finder is for you? Sign up below, get the phone number and reminders, I won’t bug you in that annoying diamond encrusted way, and that way, you’ll come if you want.

Yeah! So delighted to talk holiday goodness and flow and showing up and digital sabbaticals with you!