It is okay. Your feelings are your feelings, and there is nothing inherently wrong with feelings.
You need to heal, and your family needs to heal. You’ve all been through a terrible ordeal in watching your father’s health fail. Of course there’s relief.
I’m sorry you’re going through what you’re going through, and my thoughts are with you.
dearest, darling Jen, I will not offer trite words of comfort, remember these basic facts:
* You are beautiful, kind, amazing, brillant and sooo very special to me!
a very close StepDad to a dear friend of mine died and this is a quote of his – I hope you can draw strength from it!
“People will ply you with all sorts of platitudes… but it hurts and the hurt never really goes away… it changes shape, though, for the better. It slowly is replaced with nostalgia, which filters out all the less pleasant parts and eventually you are left pretty much with only good memories and time has a way of even putting a nostalgic slant on the unpleasant ones. I found grief difficult to handle until I learned to simply go with it, immerse myself in it, wrap it around me and soon it became a comfort rather than a hurt.” John Moll, 1943 – Oct 2006
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, Jen. I’ve been away in Ontario at my brother’s wedding. My husband and daughter just went out into the cold wind to buy pumpkins, and I thought I’d use the time to cozy up on the couch and get caught up on reading your blogs. I completely understand that strange sense of relief, though I wasn’t strong enough to use that word to describe the early feelings I had when my own very ill mother died. Those feelings have changed so many times in the last few years, including last week when I took my newborn and family (including my mom’s parents and sister who made the trip East for the wedding) to my mom’s grave on the morning of my brother’s wedding. First we couldn’t find the right cemetary and then we couldn’t find the grave. My Grandpa finally stumbled upon it just when we were about to give up, and then my two year old marched on it and said that Grandma wasn’t there she was in heaven. We couldn’t help but shed a few giggles before the tears finally came pouring out hours later at the reception when it became obvious who was missing from the very important day. I’ll be praying for you as you grieve and begin to accept the new shape of your family. Your faith and your writing life will help you through each and every stage. God bless.
4 responses so far ↓
1 Dawn Goldberg Oct 23, 2006
It is okay. Your feelings are your feelings, and there is nothing inherently wrong with feelings.
You need to heal, and your family needs to heal. You’ve all been through a terrible ordeal in watching your father’s health fail. Of course there’s relief.
I’m sorry you’re going through what you’re going through, and my thoughts are with you.
Dawn Goldberg
2 Ing Bing Oct 24, 2006
dearest, darling Jen, I will not offer trite words of comfort, remember these basic facts:
* You are beautiful, kind, amazing, brillant and sooo very special to me!
a very close StepDad to a dear friend of mine died and this is a quote of his – I hope you can draw strength from it!
“People will ply you with all sorts of platitudes… but it hurts and the hurt never really goes away… it changes shape, though, for the better. It slowly is replaced with nostalgia, which filters out all the less pleasant parts and eventually you are left pretty much with only good memories and time has a way of even putting a nostalgic slant on the unpleasant ones. I found grief difficult to handle until I learned to simply go with it, immerse myself in it, wrap it around me and soon it became a comfort rather than a hurt.” John Moll, 1943 – Oct 2006
3 mysteria Oct 24, 2006
it is ok.
cindy
4 Tara Oct 29, 2006
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, Jen. I’ve been away in Ontario at my brother’s wedding. My husband and daughter just went out into the cold wind to buy pumpkins, and I thought I’d use the time to cozy up on the couch and get caught up on reading your blogs. I completely understand that strange sense of relief, though I wasn’t strong enough to use that word to describe the early feelings I had when my own very ill mother died. Those feelings have changed so many times in the last few years, including last week when I took my newborn and family (including my mom’s parents and sister who made the trip East for the wedding) to my mom’s grave on the morning of my brother’s wedding. First we couldn’t find the right cemetary and then we couldn’t find the grave. My Grandpa finally stumbled upon it just when we were about to give up, and then my two year old marched on it and said that Grandma wasn’t there she was in heaven. We couldn’t help but shed a few giggles before the tears finally came pouring out hours later at the reception when it became obvious who was missing from the very important day. I’ll be praying for you as you grieve and begin to accept the new shape of your family. Your faith and your writing life will help you through each and every stage. God bless.