We’ve been resting this month at Comfort Cafe.
Exploring how to rest.
How to be… boneless wonder
tension drained away
nowhere to go, nothing to do
open to receiving without having to make anything happen or manage anything
easy with ourselves
content with what is
restful creativity
restfully engaged with something
resting from the quest
resting in imperfection
See, everybody has a different way of defining rest for themselves – of experiencing rest.
Once again, there ain’t no right way.
What We’ve Learned about How to Rest
- You have to be willing to. How do you get willing? It’s helped me this month because hundreds of other women at the Cafe are exploring it at the same time. \
Who can support you in resting?
- You might wistfully say, “What a great idea, rest, that sounds soooo good,” while you are dashing off your 1000th holiday card or spinning around the house, picking other up people’s crap. If you aren’t willing to rest, then be not willing.
There is so much freedom in the declaring what is true for you and giving up second guessing and “trying.”
- You may need to say hi to any fears about resting, of not “keeping up,” of getting sucked into depression or procrastination, or whatever demons may be waiting at the gate of rest. Don’t push them away! Say hi to them, they are here, it’s kinda of rude not to.
And your fears do not get to determine if you get to rest.
- Ask yourself , “What is restful to me?” Forget what should be – be curious about what is. Perhaps you want to rest in the midst of life rather than thinking it’s something that you must earn or that comes after everything else is done.
Perhaps you rest in the chaos of the holidays?
- Rest often has a quality of receiving – of resting in or on something that is not you. That may be a couch or it may be God. It may be the love of your beloved or the soul of the Earth.
Just knowing there is something bigger than you and you aren’t in charge, that’s very restful.
- Do something that quiets your mind. Jump on the treadmill, take the dogs to the woods, put on a yoga DVD, dance to trance inducing music, knit, paint in your art journal, count your breaths – most of us need a transition activity to get to a restful state.
Give your mind and body a bone.
And…
Three pieces of Comfort Cafe wisdom this month captured rest for me (there is tons more wisdom I could share but I’ve got to hit publish!)
Donna’s beautiful phrase Rest from the Quest:
I’m tired of searching. I’m tired of striving. This December my intention is to take a rest from my “quest”. I plan to stop worrying about what is next in my life and focus on what is now. To quote I want to learn to “rest in the divine” as Jen said in her video this month. “
Diedra crying foul on our culture’s anti-rest message:
Here’s something interesting I just realized. Well, I KNEW this but really had it driven home! Through the media, and probably a million other nagging little voices we are condittioned to NOT rest, even when we’re sick.
Example, I just saw a TheraFlu commercial that goes something like this. Women sick with the flu, shivering under a blanket. Husband gives her TheraFlu, she drinks TherFlu, and Bam! they’re bouncing out the front door!
Seriously??? Could they not even show one little clip of her getting a bit of rest in bed after drinking the stuff before bouncing her out the door??
No wonder we’re all rest deprived and running on empty!
And our Wise Person Guest Carla Blazek (last minute shopping folks, check out Carla’s amazing candles – beloved by Oprah!) beautiful phrase, “Rest in Imperfection” in which she talked about resting in being who you are rather than “pounding yourself down” with what she isn’t doing.
So what is rest for you? How can you rest today? Or maybe you don’t want to? And if you don’t want to, embrace that!
I’d love to hear what rest is for you!
P.S.
Mini-love note to my Comfort Cafe:
I love love love that you have been willing to consider and play and open your heart to rest during what, for some people, is the busiest time of the year.
It feel so sly. So counter culture. And you know, I love anything that breaks the rules.
10 responses so far ↓
1 Lydia, Clueless Crafter Dec 17, 2009
The TheraFlu marketing campaign resonated with me. I suddenly realized how not encouraged we are to heal, to foster self love.
These adverts are dangerous. Thanks for including Diedra’s post!
2 Tweets that mention Resting in Imperfection » Comfort Queen -- Topsy.com Dec 17, 2009
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jennifer Louden and Jennifer Louden, Jennifer Louden. Jennifer Louden said: Rest in boneless wonder, rest from the quest, rest in imperfection http://www.comfortqueen.com/resting-in-imperfection [...]
3 Jennifer Dec 17, 2009
I agree! Have to watch out for the water we swim in!
4 Kat Dec 17, 2009
We have a lot of snow forecast for the weekend, previously I would have been upset at not having that time to get stuff done. We get very little snow all winter, rarely any before January so this is very unusual and unanticipated for this time of year.
Now with the support of the Comfort Cafe, I am looking forward to a retreat and planning to yield to the season and relax into the cocoon of snow and darkness as the weekend holds the shortest days of the year for us as well.
If the forecast does not play out, my intent is to go ahead with my plans anyway – the dark will certainly happen!
5 amy Dec 17, 2009
Isn’t it crazy that this feels counter-culture? If we as Moms don’t rest, how the bleep can we keep on keepin’ on with the Superhuman existence we lead? And yet when we contemplate taking a rest, we are conditioned to immediately feel the onslaught of guilt for even imagining that rest is an okay option.
Thank you Jen, for the invitation. I accept.
For me, rest is about stretching out toward my beloveds, bringing them in and sharing Love with them. Allowing ourselves to luxuriate in being together without doing, in leaning in and leaning on each other.
And of course, in freeing myself of the seasonal shoulds so that I can open myself to the experience of light and love that this season is all about!
6 uberVU - social comments Dec 17, 2009
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by jenlouden: Rest in boneless wonder, rest from the quest, rest in imperfection http://www.comfortqueen.com/resting-in-imperfection...
7 Erika Dec 18, 2009
Thanks for the idea which is very timely for me. I think my body decided to force me to rest. I had all sorts of plans for yesterday, today and this weekend but I came down with something yesterday. It hit me all of a sudden in the middle of my viola lesson. I had to sit down, feeling dizzy, nauseous and weak. I didn’t know how I was going to get myself home but somehow I did.
So now I am home, mostly in bed and I am feeling OK but still exhausted.
I am taking this as an opportunity to stop and take a pause in my busy life. I am asking for help from my husband and friends with my kids. I am going to mostly nurture myself with (I just made myself hot chocolate with marshmallows, don’t know when the last time I had that was!) and maybe watch a holiday movie.
It seems, now that I think of it, that I needed this time out to reflect on this last year, all the amazing things that happened and prepare a space for the new year. It just feels right. Thanks for the reminder.
And yes, at first, today, as I was trying to sleep, my mind did try to go to that place of, I should be doing this, why did I do that, worry and anxiety, but I just replaced it with affirmations and love, while welcoming in those worries as well.
8 Lea Howell Dec 18, 2009
As a nurse, and in healthcare for over 20 years…..this is only my second Christmas season that I have had Christmas Eve AND Christmas Day off in all those years. The first was 2 years ago, when I sat at my Mother’s bedside Christmas week, as we said goodbye to her peacefully at the Hospice House.
This year, with 4 days off (new job, new state!) we will spend the holidays traveling back home, to see family in 4 different cities. Although I am looking forward to the visits, I know that it will be hectic.
My rest comes in the AWARENESS that it will be fast and furious! RESTING in that ahead of time, I feel like I will be ready physically and mentally for the long drives and short visits!
I have also decided that next year….we will stay HOME at Christmas, and visit some other time during the holidays! The peace that this has brought me already…..well, next year will be surreal!!!!
Merry Christmas everyone!
9 Quilt Architect Dec 20, 2009
This month I have been making peppermint tea in the evening for me and my daughter.
I don’t try to “make” Christmas happen. I don’t get caught in creating a stage. I believe in living everyday alike. So although we may have some specialness for the day…it is mostly about laughing a lot and being together and creating memories…and also remembering.
Being Thankful is a great way to change my focus and become at rest.
10 Cindy L Dec 20, 2009
I find that if I don’t take time to rest, rest will come find me in the guise of the flu or cold — forcing me to take to my bed with a book and a cup of sage tea. That happened this weekend. I’d been caring for my elderly mom (who was sick with an infection) and running around like crazy with my holiday to-do list.
After a late night on Friday night — helping a friend celebrate her December birthday — I came down with flu symptoms and a temperature this weekend. I don’t want to be sick for Christmas — so much more to do! — so I am staying in bed today, watching corny holiday movies with a box of tissues at my side. I feel better already, more at peace.