I never cease to shiver with gratitude during a retreat. When women come together in liminal sacred space, the miracle is so consistent- faces soften as disappointments and exhaustion drops away; shoulders lower and neck lengthen; l life juice trickles forth, then gushes; eyes widen; remembrances of heart’s desires and the soul’s face peek out; practices are recommitted to or discovered for the first time; Yet most of all, each woman sees all the other women around the circle as beautiful, whole, and capable of just about anything she would put her mind to- and then, at some point during the retreat, the woman seeing this in others realizes the exact same is true of her. Now that is a miracle to behold.
I witness this miracle again and again, and count myself extraordinarily lucky to be trusted to create the container for these transformations, and still I struggle. Is it enough? Will it bring lasting change to our lives? I know I help create an altered betwixt-between state for women to enter, that you cannot and should not maintain that state, but learn from it and build on, via practices, in your ordinary life. I believe strongly in the power of retreats, have seen the archetype work for myself and hundreds of others first hand. I do not promise a life changing event but a time to reflect and remember, to tap back into "For the sake of what do I do ______ (parent, write, run the company, pray, live)?" So why do I question? Perhaps it is just my nature, that’s what my friend Anna Bunting says.
Maybe it is just that I struggled to facilitate this retreat to my usual standard. I felt sluggish and many of the directions I gave to the group were confusing. I wasn’t ill nor did I fee self-critical- the material Molly and I have developed feels extraordinary to me and I have long ago given up on creating the perfect experience or reaching each woman in the same way. I’m not sure why it didn’t feel like my best work.
So I’m tender and grateful and would love to hear" what do you think about the need or power of retreats? When is the next time you will retreat? What works for you?
6 responses so far ↓
1 Maureen Dec 14, 2005
Ah, Jennifer,
Thanks for sharing
yourself so openly
about forging ahead
even when you do not
feel your best.
Having been to one
of your retreats (2004
in Santa Barbara, right?) I feel confident they are marvelous even when you don’t feel totally on top of your game. I have signed up for the 2006 Santa Barbara retreat and cannot wait. Between the holidays, which I don’t like under the best of circumstances,
and having lost two dear friends my age this year-one to cancer and another to an autoimmune problem that came out of nowhere, I am feeling alone in the world. Retreats – especially yours-connect me to myself and the larger world in such a gentle loving way.
You know, your retreat was my first. I went to others that year also and, after attending about 3, I stopped psychotherapy, w/ my therapist’s blessing.
She said there was nothing fundamentally wrong with me – what I needed was love and direction–’coaching’ iif you will. I still need those things. Maybe some day I’ll even be in a position to give them to others.
Love and peace to you all!
Maureen
2 Toni Dec 14, 2005
I created my own retreat about 3 years ago. I went to a cabin in the woods with no electricity, running water or indoor toilet. It was marvelous. It took me a full day to lose the trappings of my other life but I had two lovely days of relaxing, napping thinking, writing and exploring the woods. I spoke to no one for two days. I took care of only me for two days. I came away from my retreat with a renewed sense of me. It was marvelous. I hope to attend a retreat with you in the next couple of years.
3 cindy Dec 14, 2005
i think there is definitely a need to retreat. the way life is today, warp speed, i dont think god meant for our bodies and minds to live at that threshold. is there power in retreats? yes i believe so, but there is even more power when, once we get back home, we implement our newfound discoveries into the run of the mill of our lives. it is our intention followed by action that is full of power.
i have partcipated in 2-3 day silent retreats with about 12-15 other women and have found those incredibly renewing.
not sure when i will get the next chance to retreat. i would like to do one a year, but finances do come into play.
4 Lauren Dec 14, 2005
I have a deep craving for retreats and also recognize that they can be difficult for me. The process of coming down from my busy life and getting to the place where I am soft enough to unfurl myself and breathe into that limnal space is often soooo gradual and hard. Also, I have trouble finding a balance between community (which I do need) and solitary space. For instance, I prefer solitude and quiet after the deep processes of the day, to just write, meditate, and sleep. But the communal space in retreats often doesn’t allow for this, as the rooms are usually close together and there are many who want to get together and talk into the wee hours. The disengagement from my life and the journey to the retreat feels like sacred time to me, and I find I am always longing for more quiet than others seem to need.
5 Poppy Dec 14, 2005
I haven’t been on enough retreats to know yet what I need from them. I planned one this last fall, but could only take a couple of days, and spent a lot of that time dealing with “outside world” considerations – mostly keeping track of time to make sure I didn’t miss check-out time at the place I was staying. I’d like to plan more, but I’m not very good at planning them yet, and like Cindy said, finances do come into play as well.
6 Marilyn Dec 14, 2005
Those who know me well today would be surprised by this admission…but I don’t think I’ve ever been on/to a retreat. I’ve spent LOADS of alone time that for a few hours felt retreat-esque…but a whole day or DAYS? Nope. Reading your post and the comments, it started sounding really desirable. Although I think I would most enjoy a solo one.