Photo by Benimoto
First, a Finding the Good Wish
Wishing you
strength to love the curl of the question mark
around your heart
patience to wait for the stirring of your confusion to reveal
your next leap and
most of all,
the humility to listen to what wants to be heard.
And Now a Thought about Question Marks
We waited two decades for it. Clarrisa Pinkolas Estes, the esteemed author of the ground-breaking “Women Who Run with the Wolves,” is releasing her new work through a series of live classes offered by the amazing Sounds True.
Yes, it took almost twenty years for her next great work. And here is what she said about the gestation period:
What you’ve heard over the years about my having disappeared and gone underground to work and write is true,” says Dr. Estés. “When people ask where the heck I’ve been and why I so seldom come out when called by the “clattering world,” I often respond by saying that one can’t fulfill one’s calling by being called away. Rather one fulfills one’s calling by filling up… by studying, thinking, listening, looking at, living in the layers of life beyond the collective ones. Then . . . one can pour outwardly again.”
When I read Dr. Estes’ words, I started to wonder:
How do you discern between what Seth Godin calls “shipping” – getting the work out the door – and priceless diving-underground-time, away from the clattering world?
The need to fill up is built into the creative life, yet filling up time can so easily slip into not creating because you aren’t “ready.”
On the other hand, not taking time to fill up can leave you creatively bankrupt.
But how can you take time off? People around you are “shipping” everyday. They are creating so many cool partnerships and products and making millions.
And anyway, you need to post on your blog, on Twitter, and on Facebook.
So where would the time and space to fill up come from? You’ll be left behind!
So, is it time to ship or time to fill up? And how do you know?
What I do: If there is question mark curled around my heart, I ask it if it wants to ship or go underground.
I turn to a community of honest peeps to help me see if I am hiding rather than filling up underground.
What about you? How do you know whether it’s time to retreat and rest, or if it’s time to ship? Please comment as this is dear to my question marked heart and I would really like your input, questions, and ideas.
17 responses so far ↓
1 Josie (@safetycomfort) Mar 18, 2010
Thanks so much for this. The poem at the start fits perfectly with where I’m at right now. I came across Estes’ “Women Who Run…” fifteen years ago and love it dearly, and hope to read it again soon. I love the idea of letting the question mark curl around my heart. I’m not sure I’ve asked it whether it wants to retreat, or get moving, so will try that. I very much understand the whole feel / ethos of what’s said here (and I’ve been reading your Comfort Book for ten years now).
Love & blessings, Josie
2 Hiro Boga Mar 18, 2010
Jen, I find it essential to attune to this rhythm of inward turning and outward flowing. To honor what is being called for in the moment.
My own soul, and the soul of my creative project, tell me clearly about the timing of each of these modes of being.
Daily practices of alignment and attunement to Source, of self-enquiry, keeping my energy clear and staying connected to my wonderfully intelligent and articulate body, help me hear and trust the voice of my soul.
I’ve learned to act on the wisdom of this inner GPS system. It knows about right relationship and right timing.
3 uberVU - social comments Mar 18, 2010
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by jenlouden: New at my blog: Godin vs. Estes: Is it Time to Ship or Time to Fill up?: Photo by Benimoto First, a Finding the … http://bit.ly/9HCIAC...
4 Vivienne Grainger Mar 18, 2010
Seth Godin’s blogs? Why? Ick.
5 ErinRichardson Mar 19, 2010
For years, I always assumed I was going underground during creative pauses. I tended to judge myself harshly, criticizing and often beating myself up.
I now know whenever I’m pausing from creating, I’m filling up on some level. ALWAYS. Even if (especially if), I cannot see it or understand it until later.
I still question the pauses, why am I not painting? why am I not posting? why am I not driven with ideas (my normal state). Shouldn’t I be doing something? Have I lost my artistic drive? etc, I then put the question aside, and wait…
I’ve just come through a 2 week pause – I was healing from a relationship split, and looking at the work I’m painting now, my work was evolving.
I’m feeling more me, more centred, more earthed after my last pause. Very excited with the painting I’m producing!
I’d say the answer is to trust your inner drive, even if your small self can’t understand it at the time.
Vivienne – Seth Godin’s blog is a pinnacle for bloggers, the man is a master of his craft!
6 Tara Mohr Mar 19, 2010
Jen,
I love that you are highlighting this question. I think its really important, and I do think these two can get confused.
I see so many bright, brilliant creative women convincing themselves they aren’t ready to ship/speak/lead/start the business/write the book etc., when that is really the voice of fear or perfectionism standing in their way.
I think we all need to be on alert for a little voice that says, “you are still getting ready…you are learning more…” etc. when what’s really underneath is a bunch of fears.
On the other hand I’ve had times in my life (recently) when I’ve said to myself: “Go! Be bold! Ship! Don’t let anything get in your way!” and that is exactly what has gotten in my way.
I got off track from my intuition and my own timing, and I misjudged the still small voice saying, “not yet” for some kind of self-sabotaging instinct.
Like many who commented here, I can hear the difference between the call to fill up and the desire to avoid shipping…IF I slow down enough to be able to listen internally. The call to fill up is calm and certain in itself, and its a contented voice. The voice that is making up stories because it’s afraid of shipping is anxious, rushed – its the chatter in the head. It has all sorts of judgments and proclamations to share with me.
Thanks for all that you do Jen!
Love,
Tara
7 Jennifer Mar 19, 2010
What thoughtful and spot on comments. Thank you all for taking the time to respond so thoughtfully. It is first and foremost about pausing and calming so you can listen. It is very comforting to have this conversation with you all!
8 Willie Hewes Mar 19, 2010
I think your question “What would I love to do?” is really useful here. Certainly much more useful than my usual “Why am I not doing anything?” “Where are all my cool ideas gone?” “What’s wrong with me?!” because you can really only answer those questions with a hug.
I also try to listen to my thoughts and ask: Who is speaking? Is it a wise version of me, who has been here before and knows what she needs, or is it a fearful version, who worries about who will take notice and what they will say and twists her hair until it comes out?
It’s an important question. Thanks for highlighting it.
9 nancy Mar 19, 2010
so many lovely comments. i just went through a 5 month creative pause, the longest ever. but because i’d been in shorter ones before i trusted that the creative juice would indeed flow one day….and tho it always feels uncomfortable to not be DOING, i would come back to remembering to trust. like someone commenting about the GPS….i felt like i was in the right place even though it did feel odd. so i think diving deep where the answers lie is imperative….and the answers are there all along. i found a Rumi poem recently that helped a lot…it puts a wonderful spin on what shows up in our lives:
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning is a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture.
Still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
10 Photopoppy Mar 19, 2010
I still haven’t figured out the appeal to “Women Who Run…”. I’m too much a scholar of mythology – in as close to the original as I can get – and couldn’t make it all the way through the book without wanting to throw it against the wall. I hope her new work is better.
One merely has to determine what is “success” for themselves – if success to them IS shipping, well, then the answer is that they spend time on that and less time filling up. And that’s a perfectly ok way to be.
Someone who feels that shipping-based success is meaningless without having time to fill up, or for whom filling up is a crucial part of success needs to set aside time to do it, and spend less time “shipping” – even if the rest of the world clatters for attention. Inner fulfilment, not outer approval.
It’s about listening to your body and listening to your soul. If you’ve stopped doing that, chances are good you’re hiding instead of filling and it’s time to ask yourself why.
11 Christine Myers Mar 19, 2010
I have a very recent experience with this. I knew I needed a break; I even had one planned–a mini retreat to work on my ittybiz bookended by mental health days.
Apparently my body wasn’t willing to wait, as it gave me the worst migraine I’ve ever had yesterday. I was forced to sleep for almost 24 hours straight. No reading, no t.v., no websurfing, no THINKING.
I’m usually so good at listening to my body but perhaps my answer needs to change from
“I hear you, I’ll take care of you soon.”
to
“I hear you, how can I take care of you now?”
12 Vicki Mar 19, 2010
I wonder if part of the difference here is in large part the simple difference of the masculine and feminine approaches. Masculine is to get out there in the world and create somethng. Feminine is to quietly gestate until the creation is ready to enter the world.
I admire the immense courage and conviction it must take for Clarissa Pinkola Estes to let her work gestate and develop in its own time, rather than succumbing to market and cultural pressure to produce! produce! produce!
I think honoring one’s own wisdom and process are crucial here. Or perhaps deciding to honor one’s process, if, like me sometimes, you don’t yet clearly see what your process is. By this I mean not buying into what someone else tells or sells you on how it ‘should be done.’
Thanks for sharing, Jen. Very thought provoking.
13 Sarah Mar 20, 2010
Jen, what a beautiful question! For me, this points towards the core of why I have a spiritual practice: so that I can have a loving, trusting, reliable relationship with my deepest, wisest, most connected self. When I cultivate that relationship, then I have access to that part of myself when it’s time to answer important questions, like “how do I balance filling up with shipping?” or even “which do I do right now?” Having spent years cultivating that relationship, I now find that if I make space for them, the answers I need usually emerge, and I’m tremendously grateful for that,
14 anita Mar 22, 2010
fascinating question and intriguing comments. I just finished reading “Linchpin” last night, so I will be thinking about this today.
15 Viveca from FatigueBeGone Mar 22, 2010
My adventure with fatigue taught me several important lessons on this topic.
1. Physical checkbooks get as obviously depleted as our tangible bank checkbooks.
I spent 2 days in WDC last week protesting health”care.” The old me would have jumped into today and charged. That’s how I regularly ended up with bronchitis, pneumonia and then, adrenal fatigue.
The new and improved me acknowledges obvious outputs of energy and intakes of other people’s energy and makes time to rebalance.
Today I slept until 11:00 a.m. – without guilt. I am slowly pattering through today so that I can charge tomorrow – maybe!
2. If physical accounts are low, so are financial accounts. I’ll be making time this week to replenish both and that process starts with my thinking not my doing.
Happy Monday everyone! Wishing you peace, prosperity and an abundance of all the good stuff in life.
Viveca
16 Susan Gallacher-Turner Mar 22, 2010
As a long time ‘doer’ and busy bee, I’ve always been uncomfortable with the whole idea of ‘being’. Shipping comes way more easily to me than taking the time to fill up. But many of you point out, there is a payment for too much ‘shipping’ both in body and soul.
My cards this month started with ‘Exhaustion’ (from fueling the productivity machine), yes, I was exhausted from just that and in denial out of fear. The second card was ‘Understanding’ and pictured a bird flying out of a cage. I definitely wanted to be free, but was too afraid. The next card was ‘Consciousness’ pointing out the need be a master of my mind, where all that fear was chattering away. All good, but how to do that? Today’s card held the answer, ‘Totality’, being totally in each and every moment. One step at a time.
I realize that one moment may be about filling up and another about shipping. The balance is a dynamic shifting rather than a static place. But the most important thing is having the support from others who are also trying to find their way, too.
Great post and comments and really helpful!!
Thanks to you all!
17 Molly Gordon, Self-Employment Coach Mar 30, 2010
Hi Jen,
What a great post.
It is no easy matter to discern the Soul’s call to turn inward from the Ego’s fear of showing up (shipping). When we work for ourselves, making the distinction is fraught with both spiritual and economic consequences.
In order to honor the Soul’s call, we need to have met certain minimum requirements for survival. This may mean cutting expenses or tapping into savings or investments during times of turning inward. It can mean having a day job (or treating self-employment like a day job) so that you can afford to engage the inner life.
My point is that it is our responsibility both to answer the call and to care for day-to-day necessities. This isn’t always easy, especially when your calling and your income are closely entwined.
Molly