At the Comfort Cafe, we use the concept of Simple Action all time. It’s one of our basic principles.
I even came up with a formula for it, which is really kind of funny, considering how math-phobic I am.
simple action + desire + pausing to see what you know now + speaking to yourself kindly = moving forward with your life with a lot less struggle and a whole lot more joy
Simple action = Something you can do all at once (no multiple steps) and you feel no more than a bit of anxiety or friction about doing it. So if writing a chapter freaks you out, then make your simple action writing a page. If that is too much, make it a paragraph. Some anxiety is good– you’re pushing yourself — but too much can shut you down.
Desire = What you would love do right now. Which is different than what you are in the mood to do. My friend Michael Neill taught me this valuable distinction. When you navigate by mood, you ask, “Do I feel like doing it?” But because your mood is influenced by so many things, from how well you slept last night to what your bank balance is, mood isn’t a reliable navigator.
But when you ask, “What would I love to do right now?” you tap into desire, the living river of your life, the life force speaking to you. Desire gets you moving. Desire inspires; mood often does not.
Pausing to know what you know now = As in, taking action based on what you want and then pausing and seeing what you now know. Wait, did I just repeat myself? YES because that’s all there is to it. Pause and notice. Use your awareness to determine your next step. We usually think we already know what to do next, which means we often end up doing what doesn’t need to be done or doesn’t further our goals because we weren’t paying attention.
Speaking to Yourself Kindly = Remembering that beating yourself up only gives you bruises, uses up valuable brain resources, and makes you life a living hell. (But if that sounds good to you, hey, amp up the private nastiness! If not, consider treating yourself with the same respect you would someone you love.)
Try it and tell me what you think or how you tinker with this process to make it your own
It works.
10 responses so far ↓
1 Thekla Richter Mar 5, 2010
I love the distinction you make between mood and desire. I think a lot of deferred dreams stem from giving in too often to our moods, at the cost of hour by hour giving up on manifesting our desires.
2 Josiane Mar 5, 2010
This is a good complement to what I wrote in my journal this morning. At the end of my writing session, I was left with a few questions, and I’ve found some clues as to possible answers in your post. Thank you, Jen!
3 Suzanne McDermott Mar 5, 2010
I like the formula! I received the Michael Stanier book and am enjoying it. Thanks again.
4 Joy Mar 5, 2010
BEAUTIFUL! I love this. I’ve never thought about it like an equation, but I’ve seen these things come together to create so many great things in my world over the past year. In fact, my word-of-the-year is “ease” so I am all about struggling less and shining out my name! Thank you!
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6 SusanJ Mar 5, 2010
What a delightful formula! And it’s SO very true that mood is not a good navigational tool.
The part I forget sometimes is remembering to pause and check in with what I know.
Thanks Jen!
7 Jennifer Mar 6, 2010
What a lovely post and formula. I am in the midst of a large project now, and I think the part about checking with my “knowing” is something that I fumble around with. I am going to put this on my bulletin board and remember the next step! Yes! Moods are fleeting and such powerful de-motivators. Thank you, this was a gift!
8 Laila Mar 6, 2010
Very helpful, Jennifer.
Can you elaborate a little on “Pausing to Know.” I don’t get it.
I love what you said: “We usually think we already know what to do next, which means we often end up doing what doesn’t need to be done or doesn’t further our goals because we weren’t paying attention.”
Are you meaning that we pause to focus on: What we know on a deeper level, that needs to be done next, that will really make a difference and get us where we want to go?
Thanks,
Laila
9 Jennifer Mar 8, 2010
Thanks everybody for your insights – I get so much out of reading your comments. They skitter about in my heart for days and days, helping me think and, most of all, feel less alone.
Laila, Pausing to know simply means taking a moment to check in and see, now that you have taken action, what you have learned. So if I write for ten minutes about a story idea, I pause and ask, “What do I know now?” and I might see I know that I have a story I want to write, or a thread I want to expand on. Or today, I took action on enrolling my daughter for an alternative history class next year. After I talked to the counselor, and saw the other kids on the list, and met the teacher, I now have new information. And now I know I need to do more research before I’m positive this is the best choice for her. If I didn’t stop to check in, I would just stay with our decision and check that off my list. Does that make more sense?
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