’m writing this on a blustery winter day in which the rain threatens to turn into snow any moment. I just got off the phone with a coaching client who has spent the last two months working on a massive, all-consuming project: helping her company lay 600 people off.

I’ve helped structure two other lay-offs in my time,” she said, “But before, there was someplace for people to go. But the other companies in my field are laying people off, too.”

As my client spoke, I felt fear trying to invade me, to take me over.

Fear’s maniacal (and terribly unoriginal) whispers tried to ensnare me in their usual blah blah blah of you’ll never work or create or earn money again and you’ll have to move in with your mother and your life will be meaningless…

I am sure you have your own version of this all-too-common refrain.

It’s very, very easy these days to feel that fear is in the very water you are drinking

and that you don’t have much of a choice whether you are affected or not.

But you have more power over your happiness than you think.

That’s why I love the study results released in mid-December from Harvard social scientist Dr. Nicholas Christakis and UC San Diego political scientist James Fowler, popularly dubbed “The Happiness Effect.”

They took data compiled from 4,700 people over 20 years and found that people who are happy have an clear effect on those they know. In fact, by being happy, you increase the chances that someone you know will be happy. And this “traveling happiness,” as I’m calling it, can reach and affect the mood of your partner, brother, sister, friend or next-door neighbor.

Your happiness is not just about your own choices and actions and behaviors and thoughts,” said Christakis. “It’s like there are emotional stampedes that ripple across this infinite fabric of humanity.”
Of course, unhappiness can also spread from person to person but the “infectiousness” of being unhappy appears to be far weaker. Yeah!

Another measurable indication of how interconnected we all are! What this study illustrates too is how we are each direct agents of change. Each of us can reverse the trend of unhappiness – of fear, anxiety, and worry — by increasing our own happiness.

Happiness is more important to us than money – as if that’s news!

In the Washington Post, Fowler said,

…our work shows that whether a friend’s friend is happy has more influence than a $5,000 raise. So at a time when we’re facing such economic difficulties, the message could be, ‘Hang in there. You still have your friends and family, and these are the people to rely on to be happy.’ “

What if you threw a “Traveling Happiness” party with people in your “range of influence” (don’t I sound scientific)? Get together (you could have happiness snacks:everybody brings a food that makes them happy) and each person writes a list of fifty of their “happiness makers.” Then take turns reading a few out loud, weaving a sparkling happiness net while visualizing people in your network – neighbors, co-workers, bosses, your kid’s coaches, the person who delivers your mail – being touched by this net.
Or if throwing a party sounds like way too much work, do this instead:

Get an eye bag from the health food store, about 12 bucks or fill a (clean) sock with buckwheat or flax and some lavender. Place your legs up a wall with your bottom snuggled up against the wall (you can wrap your legs in a blanket for extra comfort and warmth and you can put a blanket under your hips if you that feels good). Now put your eye bag over your eyes, and listen to this soothing worry-busting audio meditation.

Audio: Getting Calm (if you want)

And while you’re at it, download the audio onto your computer (just right-click and save) so you can listen to it any time you need a boost.

Whether you throw a Happiness party every week or dedicate your yoga or meditation practice to someone you love (or would like to feel more loving towards) or spread compliments wherever you go, what you choose does have an effect on those around you.

May we all be blessed – and bless others — with the happiness effect.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post: Calm, Confidence and Contentment: These are Not Just C Words

Related posts:

1. Comfort and Calm with Michael Neill
2. New Podcast Up: Can Art Save the World?
3. More Art Can Save the World
4. Me Over the Bar and Can Art Save the World?
5. Altruistic Artistry: You Can Design a Better World by Karen Jones