I believe we can get to a place where we can let go of anger, fear and other negative emotions, where we are more like the Tibetan monk Matthieu Ricard writes about in Happiness then say, OJ. Simpson. The monk spent twenty-five years in Chinese labor camps where he was brought to the brink of death many times. Now free, he visited the Dalai Lama who was deeply moved by his serenity. He asked if the monk had ever been afraid during his long imprisonment and the monk answered, “I was often afraid of hating my torturer, for in doing so I would have destroyed myself.”
Gulp.
When I think about where I am far too often and where that monk is, I feel pretty friggin humble. What I do is whine too much. “Why is this happening to me?” flits through my mind far too often. I think it’s only me who has gas before her first improv class, a mouse who apparently climbed inside her fridge motor and did not live to tell the tale (oh the puns are coming now) and who wonders five times an hour what she’s doing with her life. This trait of mine is getting some love and relief by using this phrase from Radiant Mind by Peter Fenner: “I suffer, yes, but this doesn’t mean that anything is fundamentally wrong.”
When we think we are the only ones or that we are being picked on or why me, oh my gosh, we make it so much worse.
I’ll fart my way through improv tonight and maybe make a joke out of it.
More self-love resources I love:
This post from Havi from which I’m going to devise an exercise for my upcoming class in
Portland that is going to be really freeing and moving and useful, too.
For self-employed gals and guys I love Molly’s work.
And David’s is for everybody everywhere forever.
My sweetheart Bob who is so good at smiling at me when I rant and saying nothing.
Smart man.
Related posts:
5 responses so far ↓
1 chris zydel Sep 10, 2008
Yes, yes, yes….
I was up all last night with sleeplessness and anxiety because of menopause and because I’m teaching a big workshop in 3 days and just because….
And I fought it and railed against it for longer than I wish I had until I finally remembered that that NEVER works , and I finally said to myself “You are just the sweetest, most adorable anxiety queen.” And it worked. I still never slept, but I calmed down considerably cause I just accepted it and then I got up and checked my email and here was this post!
Thank you, Jen, as always! It’s so, so helpful to get those reminders that we really don’t need to suffer about the suffering. And to also remember that we are not alone…
2 Sandy Sep 11, 2008
Great topic! My 11 year old Corgi is in renal failure and my Vet spoke to me recently about euthanasia… I don’t want her or me to suffer but I am going to miss my Molly terribly! We have her home for now and I want to focus on each day as the blessing it is, enjoying the little time we have left together. But it is difficult to think of her passing and I want it to be easier!
Jen, thanks for your honesty and caring!
3 rebecca Sep 12, 2008
I do seem to find the perfect whatever that I need to hear lately. This week we learned that my husband will need a heart transplant in the not that distant future – and it was a shock. My life has already been changing as I retired to find what it is that I want to do next just this summer. Thank you so much for the Havi post – I sooo needed to hear that. And I really really love the quote. Thank you , its good to have you posting again.
4 Jennifer Sep 12, 2008
oh Chris I know how you feel!! That terrible hormone dread!
Sandy, so sorry to hear about beloved sweet doggie – looking forward to coaching again next week.
And Rebecca, that is huge, the heart transplant. I’m thankful for him that he can get one and thankful that you are getting what you need to take care of yourself, at least sometimes.. that’s huge!!!
love love love
5 Hope Sep 17, 2008
What a well timed post, for me
I was just beginning to feel a bit sorry for myself, and happend on this in my RSS aggregator. Thank for for the reminder to feel sad without making the world a sad place, too.