If you are here unfaithfully with us, you’re causing terrible damage.”

Dear Rumi, he knows how to get to the heart of the matter, doesn’t he?

If you are here unfaithfully with us, you’re causing terrible damage.

What is Rumi talking about?

Near as I can tell, he’s talking about cheating on your calling. Denying it.

Near as I can tell, Rumi knew, that minx, that at some point, your calling was going to come calling to you.

Darling, that time is now.

It’s calling and calling loud.

Woo-hoo! I’m over here. C’mon over and let’s get it on.

It’s calling you, and me, and all of us, like never before.

Please, don’t cover your ears.  I need your company on this adventure. We all need your company.

And if you do cover your ears, turn away, get busy elsewhere, know that it will keep calling you, keep following you, keep throwing hints – sometimes pointy jabby hints. It wants you that badly. It won’t quit.

It wants you to see that all the self-care and soul searching and creative voice finding you’ve done, all the fear-busting, course-taking, yoga-bending, tribe-building, and general spiffying, is so beautiful and it’s all been preparation.

Holy preparation.

Preparing you to live faithfully and boldly in care of authentic selfhood.

Let me call upon Parker Palmer to help explain:

What we see is simple but often ignored: the movements that transform us, our relations, and our world, emerge from the lives of people who decide to care for their authentic selfhood… the people who plant the seeds of movements make a critical decision: they decide to live “divided no more.”

They decide no longer to act on the outside in a way that contradicts some truth about themselves that they hold deeply on the inside. They decide to clam authentic selfhood and act it out – and their decisions ripple out to transform the society in which they live, serving the selfhood of millions of others.”

Some of us educated spiritual types may have gotten stuck thinking that claiming our authentic self was only about us, about our passions, our creative fulfillment, our bank accounts.

Oh darling, how adorable. I’m here to tell you: that was just step one!

Now comes step two and beyond. (To infinity and beyond…)

You are ready. As ready as you need to be. Promise.

(And if you think you don’t have the energy or the time here’s the secret: you get more than you give, in all ways, when you work faithfully for the true and undivided life.

You are called:

To see that which is untrue, unfair, false, restrictive, abhorrent, unjust, and otherwise un, that which your authentic self can no longer pretend is not there.

You are called to liberate, to hold, to love a very small  part of that un, the part that most divides you from yourself, so that the places in you, and me, and all of us, that are also divided and shamed and shoved into corners because of that wrong, can be united.

Can be free.

This authentic self stuff is a deeply political and radically act.

Who knew?

Oh and least you think you are being called to be different than you are – say more good or noble or selfish – nope.

It’s the undivided and authentic writ large, expanded, which means being more you and doing the knitting together of savoring and saving in utter youness.

Good, right?

I can feel the hundreds of people gathering their hearts

I can feel the shimmer of intention.

I can feel the settling.

I can even feel the clutter clearing, flower arranging and possibly the candle lighting.

Ahhh…

I’m not a very airy fairy person

I study yoga and subtle energy and all that body and soul stuff but honestly, I’ve always got one eyebrow cocked.

So it is absolutely fascinating to me to palpably feel this huge growing thrumming something.

It’s behind me and around me and carrying me forward like a gentle wave.

As I read participants intentions like”

take this ‘treat ‘ seriously”

to experience a few moments of “me-ness,”

to take that deep soul releasing breath and just BE with this! Accept the comfort and love of the words”

I want to recharge and find new ways to love and serve”

and

looking forward to reaching out to myself some”

The wave just gets bigger.

I am in awe of the power of the retreat container, the intention,we are creating together to stretch literally around the globe, to support us in our desire for strength, for peace, for renewal.

As I center myself in gratitude and take the rest of the morning and early afternoon to prepare myself to be a good steward of all this love, I ask all of you out there who are not joining us, to send a molecule of care and love toward all the participants this weekend, and to send twice as many molecules to yourself.

Tonight’s mini-retreats are me, Patti Digh, Hiro Boga and Fabeku. Be still my beating heart!

P.S. If you are new to my blog, I’m talking about the 2nd annual Big Virtual Retreat: Refresh, Reawaken, and Rediscover Who Your Are in Ways that Truly Work that starts Friday Feb. 12th You can still join us. Just be sure and read the How To Retreat e-book before tonight!

As a child, I remember many a summer evening, lounging on the floor of my uncle Walter’s house in Bedford, Indiana, listening to my dad and Walter and Uncle Pryce talk business.

No. Not talk, pontificate. Extol. Preach.

The theme was always the same: be in business for yourself. Business was god. With a small g.

But still, god. (Yes, we went to church, too.)

When I got my first job out of film school, as an assistant to a literary agent in LA, my dad said, “Why did you get a job? I thought you wanted to be a writer?“

Oh no, Dad was not a patron of the arts. He believed that I would make more money working for myself than working for the Man.

My Dad did not have in his possession the statistics that most writers earn poop.

This week I feel like I returned to my family roots by writing about being self-employed.

It may be a new direction for me, working with self-employed women (and maybe men, I like men, I live with two of them and they are very lovely) around the inner work of being self-employed.

I’m feeling such a nice tickling about this idea.

In the meantime, in case you missed them, here are some great things to know about – not just for the self-employed.

Swooning

I’ve only been reading Danielle LaPorte for a few months. Oh the grief over all the juicy good I have missed. She’s sexy, truthful and loving. Good stuff.

Swigging Tequila

I sometimes paint myself into a corner with my writing, feeling I have to be serious or comforting or… Why do I tell myself that? That’s a topic for another post.

I love reading the very naughty Naomi Dunford’s very very very popular blog.

(I wrote a guest post this week. I don’t really swig tequila. It’s a metaphor. Or a joke. Or both. )

Admitting Mistakes

I’m putting on the Big Virtual Retreat next week. I made some marketing mistakes promoting it. I feel bad about them. Here is where I talk with the uber smart and very grounded Dave Navarro about what I learned doing this project.

Do I really make these faces?

You know Molly Gordon’s brilliance, right? If not, you are missing out big time.  I made a video blog post for her and you have to got to see the very odd expression the video froze on.  I laughed out loud when I clicked over.

Everybody loves Christine!

Christine Kane and I met when we did an event together a few years back. I fell in love with her immediately, everybody does. But what has made me sit up and take notice is how she has gone from struggling artist to paying off her mortgage!  Read my post about depletion, and learn more about the amazing Ms. Kane!

Hungry Ghosts, Part 2

Where the sexy sharp ass Jennifer Howard tells you how everything is really going to be alright. This woman has a brain and half. Plus she’s intuitive! Plus she’s really really cool.

I hope all these goodies help you remember that life is a wondrous game for playing and failure is just another label.

The surprising part is that even though you know you need to, you don’t do it. And if you do, you might be missing a key distinction that can make all the difference in your ability to actually hear your “you.”

Oh, do allow me to explain.

The first part of tuning into your essence – that “I” that you can then express and share with the world – is to become intimate with your own desires, opinions, and feelings.

To do that, make a habit of asking yourself what you really want.

As in, when faced with a choice, ask yourself, “What do I want?”

You make think you do this now — but are you really listening to the answer?

You may not be able to have it, but wouldn’t it be wonderful to know what was on your wish list before you told yourself “No?”

Getting familiar with your desires is a huge (and delightful!) way to get to know who you are.*

However, there is another distinction.

The big key to inhabiting and sharing the authentic magic you recognize in others, and so want to experience – and express – for yourself is…

Go Into the Mystery – With No Agenda

This is the crucial part of asking yourself who you are and what you wish to express.

Of course, most of us skip it, usually without knowing it. Does this sound familiar?

You either don’t make time to listen to these tender signals, or sometimes you listen, but you immediately insist that those signals provide a road map for action, preferably one that will “attract abundance” and love and make us very unique and special and forever loved and safe, Amen.

When you put this kind of pressure on your longings, even though you do it from a place of great sincerity and true need, you squelch the signals of authenticity.

You change them before they can even be heard. What is yours to express gets turned into something else – what you think you need it to be to get you the love and attention crave out there.

Let’s stop this – right now – together.

Make a commitment to tend your yearning, the mysterious desire to express your truth that has been given to you.

What in the hell do I mean by that?

Go someplace safe and distraction free – if that means the back of your closet with earplugs, so be it.

Acknowledge that you have a deep, universal need for appreciation, for love, for self-expression.

Spend a few moments letting yourself have these basic human yearnings – this may bring tears, waves of joy, or simply a head nodding.

If it feels right, ask whatever you name as Larger than You (some might call this the Divine, God, Goddess, nature, Big Mind) and let your heart, your being, ask for these human needs to be filled. Accept what you need.

Now, lean into the part of you that yearns to express something. Instead of looking for this with your head, scan your body.

Where does the yearning to express what is yours live?

Get as curious and attentive to what you sense as you would to a new lover.

You know how it is when you are falling in love – you can’t get enough of the other person. Nothing gets in your way of spending time with him or her. You certainly do not try to turn them into someone different (that comes later, when they forget to feed the dogs or put gas in the car!).

Listen and revel in every bit of sensory input sent your way. Nothing can drag your attention away. There is a lightness too, a feeling of joyful “How amazing!”

See if there is a weight or temperature or color or shape or a sound associated with this spot. If ideas come, record those but keep putting your attention on tending the yearning without trying to turn it into something or forcing it to take shape.

Here’s how I stated my “yearning tending” in my journal:

There is a yearning inside me. It’s brightly colored – purple and pink and it has a psychedelic flower shape. I don’t know what form it wants to express itself as yet. I make a whole-hearted fierce commitment to be with it daily as it is.”

I ask it each night before I go to bed, “What tending do you need tomorrow?”

What tending does your yearning want and need?

I’d love to know and be able to help you tend that yearning by holding the space for you.

Part three in this series: The Signal Raising Power of Permission

Missed part one of this series? Get your Static Free Authenticity here.

*If the idea of asking and listening appeals to you, you might like delving into the subject in more depth. I wrote The Life Organizer and my upcoming Virtual Retreat (Feb. 12th-14th) is going to be a lot about doing just this!

I’m bored.

I had this fantasy that recovering from surgery would be all easy and delightful. Like a cozy vacation.

English period movies and catnaps and books, books, books.

Only I forget that, um, it would be impatient little me who was doing the recovering.

I want to do yoga!

I want to walk in the woods!

I want to be able to sit at my desk for more than fifteen minutes.

I want to be able to pick up something that weighs more than 5 friggin pounds!

I want people to stop clucking at me and telling me to take it easy. (Sorry Mom.)

I want to get the hell out of this house.

Okay, breathing now. Thanks for listening to me whine.

I am feeling pretty darn normal. Just tired.

And then there is the painful CQG (Comfort Queen Gas.) Thanks Michael for that cute little tag. (You have ordered Michael’s new book, right? There are actually two, Find Your Great Work and Get Unstuck and Get Going.)

The Life Organizer Questions for

Week 44

Have to: Rest as much as I am sick of it! Have to look at moving Virtual Retreat forward and general moving 2010 forward. Have to get oil changed in car!

Could do: Art! Time with a friend. Getting out of the house.

Let go of: Exercise – I hate not moving. I can walk but not far. Sigh.

What would I do differently this week if I was willing to hang out in the gap between what I want and where I am?

Learning to tolerate and stay present in this gap is a huge part of learning to create a life you love. Mostly, we want to get out of this place because it feels so uncomfortable but if instead of freaking out, you can soothe yourself (What is your favorite way to calm anxiety?) and then notice where you want to be (say writing your novel) and where you are (say cleaning the cat box or reading the paper). Simply tolerating the anxiety of life and noticing what you want vs. what you are doing will work wonders to move you into simple action.

For me: Soothe myself with simply being, watching my impatience about not knowing which projects to commit to right now. I will sit, stay, heal as Pema says in her new book (Thanks Char for the gfit!) with my impatience, let it be there, keep letting it be there while letting go of my story about what this means for me future.

What self-nurturing activities might increase my courage to be in the gap?

For me: Meditation! Alternate nostril breathing. Writing out my frustrations without the story attached to them.

What do I find myself complaining about lately? What do I say I don’t have time or energy for?

In an excessively Law of Attraction world, you may think complaining is bad ju-ju. I prefer to agree with Bob Kegan and Lisa Lahey that our complaints hold clues to what we most care about and also, to what needs our attention. I’m not suggesting you fester over your complaints like Glenn Beck or blame others for your circumstances but rather, that you acknowledge them and hold them as vital clues.

For me: Oh my complaints are so charmingly constant: wanting to do too many things at once, not having enough systems in place so I spend too much time on details, and not have enough real live local community. I am doing things differently, week after week. But, of course, it is too slow for me. Which is a call for more self-mercy.

If I decided to forgive myself for something this week, I would choose:

For me: After 37 days of wheat free, dairy free, sugar free, and very low carb diet (not that I was counting), I ate sugar, dairy and lots o’ carbs.

Want to play along?

Write down the questions and muse upon them in your journal.

Join the Comfort Cafe and do it in community.

Pick one question and respond in the comments.

Or…?

Love to hear how you choose your life this week.