As a child, I remember many a summer evening, lounging on the floor of my uncle Walter’s house in Bedford, Indiana, listening to my dad and Walter and Uncle Pryce talk business.

No. Not talk, pontificate. Extol. Preach.

The theme was always the same: be in business for yourself. Business was god. With a small g.

But still, god. (Yes, we went to church, too.)

When I got my first job out of film school, as an assistant to a literary agent in LA, my dad said, “Why did you get a job? I thought you wanted to be a writer?“

Oh no, Dad was not a patron of the arts. He believed that I would make more money working for myself than working for the Man.

My Dad did not have in his possession the statistics that most writers earn poop.

This week I feel like I returned to my family roots by writing about being self-employed.

It may be a new direction for me, working with self-employed women (and maybe men, I like men, I live with two of them and they are very lovely) around the inner work of being self-employed.

I’m feeling such a nice tickling about this idea.

In the meantime, in case you missed them, here are some great things to know about – not just for the self-employed.

Swooning

I’ve only been reading Danielle LaPorte for a few months. Oh the grief over all the juicy good I have missed. She’s sexy, truthful and loving. Good stuff.

Swigging Tequila

I sometimes paint myself into a corner with my writing, feeling I have to be serious or comforting or… Why do I tell myself that? That’s a topic for another post.

I love reading the very naughty Naomi Dunford’s very very very popular blog.

(I wrote a guest post this week. I don’t really swig tequila. It’s a metaphor. Or a joke. Or both. )

Admitting Mistakes

I’m putting on the Big Virtual Retreat next week. I made some marketing mistakes promoting it. I feel bad about them. Here is where I talk with the uber smart and very grounded Dave Navarro about what I learned doing this project.

Do I really make these faces?

You know Molly Gordon’s brilliance, right? If not, you are missing out big time.  I made a video blog post for her and you have to got to see the very odd expression the video froze on.  I laughed out loud when I clicked over.

Everybody loves Christine!

Christine Kane and I met when we did an event together a few years back. I fell in love with her immediately, everybody does. But what has made me sit up and take notice is how she has gone from struggling artist to paying off her mortgage!  Read my post about depletion, and learn more about the amazing Ms. Kane!

Hungry Ghosts, Part 2

Where the sexy sharp ass Jennifer Howard tells you how everything is really going to be alright. This woman has a brain and half. Plus she’s intuitive! Plus she’s really really cool.

I hope all these goodies help you remember that life is a wondrous game for playing and failure is just another label.

It is a holy need.

Sometimes in a “holy crap! I need a break” or in a “I’m full of holes, I’m ready for mending” or in a celebration of wholeness kind of way. All holy.

Here are a couple of excerpts from your entries:

Gail said:

You know, when I first watched the video all I could think was, “Oh my gosh, Jen can see what a total stressed out mess my life / business / life has become, and she’s here to rescue me. Has she been sitting in the corner watching me? Where are you hiding, Jen?”

Retreat. Wow! The word even feels delightful just rolling it around on my tongue. I can’t imagine giving myself permission for such a thing. But I would surely like to try. I’m exhausted, and accomplishing very little as a result – which exhausts me even more. I know better, but knowing doesn’t necessarily change anything.”

I promise I’m have no such video camera, sweetie. We all get trapped in the cycle of depletion, it’s so utterly convincing and feels so real – this is just the way it has to be, we mutter – that we’re like the proverbial frog in the pot with the water s-l-o-w-l-y heating up.

It. Does. Not. Have. To. Be. This. Way.

Fernanda said:

I have never been on a retreat before – it is scary how much I could learn about myself if indeed I had a chance. I am at a major crossroads in my life – do I pursue the career I had before staying home with my son? Or do I just get a job that will provide the hours that would make it possible for me to spend more time with him? Time vs money but also so much more…

I have felt like people’s cash cow since I was 14 years old. I started working full time then and my parents took my pay checks. I got married and the same happened with my husband. “For our future” I was told.

Now at the age of 37 I have absolutely nothing to my name.

This is not a time vs money thing – it is so much deeper than that!!!

Fernanda, it is! When we value ourselves, we refuse to be anybody’s cash cow or 24/7 doormat.  Self-care = self-dignity and the right to choose our lives.

Ellen wrote a hysterical entry that ended with the plaintive question many of us ask ourselves:

So what does retreat mean to me? A chance to quiet the voices in my head running my to-do lists, the opportunity to see who it is I want to be, to look in the mirror and see who I actually am. A chance to be REAL. This is a gift to give oneself but finding the time and finances can be a burden. The question is: am I really worth it?

I don’t think I’ll ever do a contest again because this was so hard.

Yet maybe it helped some of you see your needs and consider you can get them meet, even if you can’t retreat with me.  YES?  Maybe?

I had to choose the winner using a random number generator.

AND

I’m giving away a ticket to one of my live retreats so one more person gets to retreat.

And an extra seat at the Virtual Retreat, too.

The Nano with last year and this year’s virtual retreat sessions pre-loaded goes to Lisa comment #49

The free seat to this year Big Virtual Retreat with 13 heart expanding teachers, live support, and e-book goes to Marcy comment #21 and Barbara #101

A free ticket to one of my one day live retreats – your choice of Wisconsin, Texas, Ohio or Maryland – goes to Carrie comment #53

Please contact me by putting your email in comments or here to claim your prize.

Together, may we slay the dragons that hiss, “”YOU CANNOT PAUSE. YOU CANNOT GO WITHIN. YOU CANNOT REST.”