How do you discern the difference between incubation (listening for what wants to come next) and paralyzation (over thinking anyone)?

Step one: don’t think there is ONE answer to this question or that you can know FOR SURE what the best perfect thing to do is.

Wanting that is a sure sign of being paralyzed. So remind yourself there isn’t ONE answer but it’s so adorable of you to want one. I do, too.

But waiting or hoping for one is victimhood in designer clothing. Not a good use of your energy.

Looking for the answer for whether you do something means forgetting that good questions are an invitation to grace. You want grace, right? (yes, you do)

Here’s a couple more inquiries - inquires, not questions to find the right answers to.

Are you proceeding at the pace of guidance, as my mentor Christina Baldwin says or are you hiding in the basement of your heart, hoping against hope the call to do your thing doesn’t get any louder? (Quick, put your fingers in your ears and starting humming really loud.)

Proceeding at the pace of guidance feels giddy, edgy, luminous and tenuous. Hiding feels hunched, oppressed, leaden and lonely. Pace of guidance rings the bell of your heart, hiding feeds the growl of your fears.

Are you researching, researching, researching because you have yet to get your mind around your tender new idea – you are calling on and expanding your lineage - or are you constructing a cacophony of factoids so you won’t have to hear yourself?

Good research feds your thing, bring clarity and excitement, gives you shoulders to stand on. Too much research drains the color of your thing, makes you feel bloated and defeated and “who do I think I am?”

Are you fussing over logos and tag lines and website design because you need a beautiful home that can hold the riches you are about to pour forth or are you rearranging the furniture because it feels easier (and safer) then moving in and proclaiming, “I live here!”?

Having a beautiful container is a beautiful thing and it’s never necessary to getting the work started.

Are you listening for the answer to Wayne Muller’s question from his new book, “Am I truly able to say that I really love this?” or are you waiting to be in the mood to take action?

Discerning what you love, what beckons to you, is the crucial act of navigating your life and very different than being in the mood. What you love is the undercurrent of truth you want to swim in, mood is mostly surface turbulence.

What inquiries do you engage in when you’re discerning between feeding your muse and burying her under more, more, more?

I’d love to hear!

P.S.

It’s an uncertain business, this bringing your ideas into the world. It’s uncertain and so what? Really – what’s so wrong with failure? It hurts but you won’t die. You will still be, at your core, the same miracle of goodness, the same innate, natural perfection. That can’t be hurt, maimed, or changed.

And if this didn’t help read this by @wildheartqueen and this by @rockyourday – you’ll balance the feminine and the masculine and then have a cup of tea, take a nap and then you will really really know what to do which is to ask, “Am I truly able to say that I love this?”

As a child, I remember many a summer evening, lounging on the floor of my uncle Walter’s house in Bedford, Indiana, listening to my dad and Walter and Uncle Pryce talk business.

No. Not talk, pontificate. Extol. Preach.

The theme was always the same: be in business for yourself. Business was god. With a small g.

But still, god. (Yes, we went to church, too.)

When I got my first job out of film school, as an assistant to a literary agent in LA, my dad said, “Why did you get a job? I thought you wanted to be a writer?“

Oh no, Dad was not a patron of the arts. He believed that I would make more money working for myself than working for the Man.

My Dad did not have in his possession the statistics that most writers earn poop.

This week I feel like I returned to my family roots by writing about being self-employed.

It may be a new direction for me, working with self-employed women (and maybe men, I like men, I live with two of them and they are very lovely) around the inner work of being self-employed.

I’m feeling such a nice tickling about this idea.

In the meantime, in case you missed them, here are some great things to know about – not just for the self-employed.

Swooning

I’ve only been reading Danielle LaPorte for a few months. Oh the grief over all the juicy good I have missed. She’s sexy, truthful and loving. Good stuff.

Swigging Tequila

I sometimes paint myself into a corner with my writing, feeling I have to be serious or comforting or… Why do I tell myself that? That’s a topic for another post.

I love reading the very naughty Naomi Dunford’s very very very popular blog.

(I wrote a guest post this week. I don’t really swig tequila. It’s a metaphor. Or a joke. Or both. )

Admitting Mistakes

I’m putting on the Big Virtual Retreat next week. I made some marketing mistakes promoting it. I feel bad about them. Here is where I talk with the uber smart and very grounded Dave Navarro about what I learned doing this project.

Do I really make these faces?

You know Molly Gordon’s brilliance, right? If not, you are missing out big time.  I made a video blog post for her and you have to got to see the very odd expression the video froze on.  I laughed out loud when I clicked over.

Everybody loves Christine!

Christine Kane and I met when we did an event together a few years back. I fell in love with her immediately, everybody does. But what has made me sit up and take notice is how she has gone from struggling artist to paying off her mortgage!  Read my post about depletion, and learn more about the amazing Ms. Kane!

Hungry Ghosts, Part 2

Where the sexy sharp ass Jennifer Howard tells you how everything is really going to be alright. This woman has a brain and half. Plus she’s intuitive! Plus she’s really really cool.

I hope all these goodies help you remember that life is a wondrous game for playing and failure is just another label.