I’ve been doing Choose Your Life Monday posts for awhile now. I’ve blogged about being aware of various patterns, I’ve shared Life Organizer questions, and now I’m doing this post a bit differently.

Over the years, I’ve had a rocky relationship with holidays.

Celebrating the solstice by lighting candles in all the windows then going for a walk in the dark and talking about what had brought us light during the year, then coming back to our house blazing with light and reading solstice stories aloud and drinking warm beverages – yum!

I adored making magic for Lilly when she was little – putting out cookies and milk for Santa and then taking a bite of the cookies after she was in bed thrilled me more than her.

But death (Dad) and teenagers and divorce and new families make everything so different.

I am good at stating the obvious, aren’t I?

In the face of all this change, I find wanting to collapse and not do anything.

I find myself wanting to whine that things aren’t the same.

I find myself being drawn into blech land.

Hiding behind work and being a crappy shopper and various other stories so I hide.

I don’t engage.

Whoa!

I don’t think so, sweetie.

That is such an old, dead response.

Let’s try something better.

Instead, I gently ground my energy and turn toward my feelings of sadness and disappointment and grief… hello feelings.  No, I’m not interested in what-ifs and wishes- I’m staying with my feelings… ah, such tenderness, such sadness, such longing, such gratitude… breathe…. stay here with the feelings…

Big big breath, so big I feel my ribs creak…. energy spills up and out my head….

Descending, grounding… being…

Resting…

A deep still spaciousness fills me…

I remember, “Oh right, I can choose how I want to do the holidays.”

I see how much of my suffering lives in me.

Which means I get to choose what experience I want to have this year!

Oh holy mistletoe, Batman! Now that is good news.

And what has also been helpful to me is…

Comfort Cafe Holiday Helpful Suggestions

We’ve been sharing ways to make the holidays more meaningful and saner at the Simpler Holiday forum. I thought you might enjoy reading some of the treasure trove of ideas to help you see new possibilities for your holidays, too!

A few of the intriguing suggestions:

Our idea for simplifying was having a pajama day Christmas day …new jammies of course!
–Pauline

….One of my main simplify themes these past years has been to do “recycled giving”… finding items that I cherish but am ready to let go to someone else. I love how recycled giving brings out my creativity at the same time it helps me work on non-attachment to “things” …the gift has to really be a match, so it also tunes me into the whole reason for giving. What would this person most love to receive, and do I have something to give that would bring delight? The best gifts are usually those that tug at my heartstrings because a part of me is not “quite ready” to give them away.
–Sora

Starting on Thanksgiving I am going to do the 29-Day Giving Challenge. It was started by a woman who had MS, and she says it cured it. My sister is the marketing director of a mall, and last year they did a Senior Angel tree. She said the seniors asked for so little, mostly toiletries like nice soap or after shave. So almost everyone also gave extra stuff like cookies, candy, warm slippers, etc. The seniors were thrilled. I would like to do something like that. I find helping other people gives me a lift. This year it will probably be more important than ever to help other people.
–Gayle O

The nicest thing we do is drape a purple silk cloth over the windowsill and stick a “path” of 24 golden stars (like teachers use) leading up to the stable/ manger. Each evening we light a candle, move Mary and the Donkey (from Nativity Scene) one step (or star) closer to the stable and sing the carol “Little Donkey.” Now that is truly magical.
–Betty

What do you do to make the holidays more light filled? I’d love to hear. And if you are a member of the Comfort Cafe, come on by the Simpler Holiday forum and add your ideas.