One thing I hear almost daily from clients and writers who come to Taos is “Everything I want to say has been said.”
Yes, it probably has.
What if that doesn’t matter?
What if it isn’t about being unique but about being of service?
“I’m all about service!” you may say. “Service is me!” We nod our heads together vigorously.
But what if the call to service is asking you, nudging you, even demanding, that you give up your idea of how you contribute and contribute in some less unique way?
What if it’s asking you to give up your singularity to be of even greater service?
What if it is asking you to join somebody else’s thing?
What say you to that?
What say me to that?
Gulp is what I say.
P.S. I know that we are all unique just by being alive and being authentic, and many of us are of service now to somebody else’s thing i.e. not all self-employed, and yet, there is something important here in how we are being called, some of us, to grow… I’d love to hear how this lands.
11 responses so far ↓
1 Rachelle Mee-Chapman Jun 24, 2010
I feel this on a daily basis Jen. One the one hand, I truly believe that every person’s story is important and should be sung from the rooftops. On the other, I realize there is nothing new under the sun.
In our consumerized culture, the first person to trademark, brand, and create a clever marketing campaign for a product “wins.” This makes us feel like if we aren’t “first” we’re pointless…if we don’t find and make our “one big chance” we’re doomed. That doesn’t ring true to me — and yet, in pracitcal terms I struggle to create a buisness model that stands in opposition to that.
It feels like there is so much overlap between courses, services, sites…and we are all having to individually learn the tech, the mistakes, the do-overs.
I want to get curious about this process. I want to poke, and prode and experiement and find a healthier, more *sane* way of be-ing.
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3 Jennifer Jun 24, 2010
Rachelle, me too, get curious about the process. Seth has written a couple of posts about teaming up that niggle at me. I just know there is an easier way for people to do their thing. I also wonder about the question from a soul level: is my soul calling me to go work for a non-profit helping women in the Middle East, for example? There is a growing up that is happening for me (at 47!) and a growing up that could happen on line in general… fragmented thoughts hope they make sense.
4 Alison Gresik Jun 24, 2010
I hear you. I’m a creativity coach, and I have probably spent way too much time thinking about my Unique Selling Proposition. What makes me different from every other creativity coach in the world? What program can I offer that no one has thought of before? I get discouraged when it seems that every niche I think of has already been taken.
So I hear you saying, maybe it’s not so much about a niche or an angle, but just being a regular old creativity coach and knowing I’ll be unique by virtue of being the only Alison Gresik on the planet. And focusing more on how I can serve than how I can be different. I like that.
5 marsha shenk Jun 24, 2010
30 years ago I began showing people that their best work is powered by a pattern of fascination – which provides a natural way of serving. I have yet to find two people with the same pattern, tho many are similar.
By focusing on those you most want to serve, and honoring what you most want for them, this problem is solved.
Then the challenge is to make compelling offers to them. Sticking to the paragraph above, being vulnerable that the prospective exchange is important to both of you,
is the work of a lifetime. But that’s what you’re looking for, no?
6 crescent Jun 24, 2010
I too hear “Everything I want to say has been said.” — one of the standard writerly resistances.
But it’s all in how one says it. The difference between Shakespeare and soap opera is not plot but the telling; not content but wisdom & POV & language.
No one has said anything let alone everything when it comes to the one-of-a-kind way any individual can say it.
Martha Graham:
“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open…”
As for service: I find that seems to happen most when I am merely (?) being transparent in doing my work. It turns out, inadvertently, to serve others, without my trying to do anything abt it. (That said, I also don’t “try” to be successful, famous, etc… just to do the work, suss out what my True North is moment to moment and follow it.)
Sometimes it seems to work, sometimes not. But “seems” is just a feeling – not how it is. Feelings change all the time. True work, true North, doesn’t.
At least, that’s what the cat told me this morning!
xxoo
cd
7 Susan Gallacher-Turner Jun 24, 2010
Such good questions …as I have been writing away with the 21 5 800 challenge, my work has changed. I’m writing these weird essays that I have no idea what to do with, yet, I have a feeling that they’re not that unique in the grand scheme of written word.
Yet, they feel so true and right and helpful…now whether or not to get up the courage to put one of them on my blog or anywhere for that matter.
8 Jenna Avery Jun 24, 2010
Interesting dialogue. Thanks for starting it.
I’m a believer in us each having our own unique audience and our own unique way of saying what’s already been said.
At the same time, one of the questions I’m asking right now is about what Rachelle mentioned — the Overlap.
So many of us are saying and doing such similar things, and saying that we’re different while we’re saying it, that it gets downright confusing trying to sort out what IS actually different.
Maybe what you’re saying, Jen, is that it’s not different. And my bit about the unique audience is more about finding the teachers, etc. that we resonate with.
Still, there’s something bugging me about all this…
Jenna
9 Jennifer Jun 24, 2010
Jenna, I agree! There is something bugging me too…
Oriah commented over on Facebook about inflation, so I believe there is a current of narcissism in the conversation on line about being unique that can get covered over.
I also think there is real Overlap and that we need to pay attention to this without being called “scarcity thinkers.”
And what if sometimes it’s not about doing our own thing but about joining someone else’s thing – cause, company, etc. I live with someone who has worked for non-profits his whole life.
I wonder when some of us can’t make a go of coaching, let’s say, and we say we want to be of service, is it time to change gears?
Maybe I need to found a big non profit and get a big fat endowment and hire all the coaches and artists who don’t want to market to do go their service and get a decent paycheck!
10 Kerry Rowett Jun 26, 2010
This is really interesting Jen, and something I’ve been thinking about lately.
I thought that when I started doing Kinesiology that would be it – I would work solo. I couldn’t actually see a different way to work.
Just recently I’ve started working with someone else (a yoga teacher) to plan a joint workshop (we’re in Australia btw). We’ve been really fascinated by the way this work that we’re doing together is generating so much more excitement and interest than our individual work ever has. The first (which is still two weeks away) sold out straight away and when we put on a second date, it sold out even quicker than the first.
We hadn’t set out to become business partners – just to do one workshop! It has definitely – and completely unexpectedly – got us thinking about how we might work together moving forwards.
So I agree, there seems to something about partnering with others that feels a lot more powerful, not to mention supportive!
I like your business idea too
11 Carol Jun 26, 2010
“pattern of fascination”–ahh, a lot of space in that.
Effort/flow=service, undue strain/self focus=not-service (just the way it feels)? Often, that’s the case here.
Love these comments. For this “enneagram flaming 4″ who balked at group projects in grade school, it’s a biggie. One of the reasons I stay connected to day job so far. Lots of collaboration/humbling feedback that rescues me from self and paradoxically releases joy, (after I’ve finished the internal “I’m different” spiel). The situation may change with time, but for now, it feels like a *good* thing.