17 responses so far ↓

• 1 Lisa Jun 16, 2010

  “Take what hunts you at 3am out for a convertible ride, discover its treasures as the road unwinds.”

  It’s 4:30am as I write this post to you and I’m riding in my Alfa Romeo Spider. I’ve got a wide, wild grin on my face and my hair is flying furiously behind me. It is an early morning ride of creativity that has compelled me to leave the dreaming world behind and do what I know is true. It would have been nice to have had more sleep, but the thought of what might flow from my heart through my fingertips onto the screen in the next few hours has me aware and awake. Chirp, chirp. That’s me. Or is that the first birdsongs of the morning?

  I know…there’s only one me that can do the things I do. I know…there is always enough despite what my head tries to convince me otherwise. Like you, I know…moving my body makes me feel better and play is the way I express the best of me. I know…a cluttered desk makes for a cluttered mind and…I need to clean my desk. I know…laughter is the best medicine and one of my best friends. I know…life is short and excuses are lies disguised. I know…I am here on this planet right now for a reason, for several reasons actually. I know…that not knowing is half of the fun of living and is the reason I’m listening to birdsongs right now.

  dear jen…how you continue to inspire me!

• 2 Christina Colombo Jun 16, 2010

  The Edge… there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
  Hunter S. Thompson

  Step One – Check my panic level. The funny free fall feeling of the lost places never appeals to my sense of humor right off. Reality check panic level and exert discipline if failure budget is inadequate. If budget is adequate, splash around for awhile more, since randomizing sometimes helps. Generally get deeper in and then get serious.

  Step Two: Take the gloves off. One nice thing about the lost places, once I learned them, pivots on knowing that I’m not just invited to actually required to shake off the limits and stretch. Thank God! Drop all nonessential social rules and reorient. Postpone social apologies for another day.

  Step Three: Get INTERESTED. It’s a whole new world here. Learn how it’s different than I expected. Inventory expectations with a mind for future purging.

  Step Four: Notice what works. At this point I usually read Molly Gordon of Authentic Promotion and Annette Simmons of Group Process Consulting because the way they write about what they think gets my ducks marching in line. Try some stuff, scatter the ducks, readjust.

  Remember that Connie Rehberg says that “Change is logarithmic.” and that once you make the first big change with intention all the rest are easier and fall into place. My experience is that error is fractile and that stuff that “seemed like a good idea at the time” drop me WAY off the map if I hold to them. Notice how it’s going, work toward logarithmic change and be willign to dump My Cunning Plan because odds are, it’s wrong. Reread Prelutsky “In the next 11 seconds, I have got to learn to fly.” Compare/contrast falling with flying and relax.

  From there I find what’s real and see what sticks. That makes a platform, at least for the moment, for the next step. Stay loose. Grow. Notice. Practice Gratitude.

  Eventually I find a new reality around me. See who else is here and what they know. Learn the rules. Build some structures. Rest up for the next adventure.

• 3 Kyeli Jun 16, 2010

  Oh, Jen, you have no idea how badly I need this. I’m so lost right now, on the edge of surgery, impending major life change, on the brink of I don’t know what – and I’ve been flipping out because exactly that – I don’t know. I don’t know.

  And now I know that it’s *okay* to not know. Wow. I needed to hear that so much.

  Thank you!

• 4 Jennifer Jun 16, 2010

  Christina and Lisa, did you just write my next book for me? Brilliant! I feel so inspired now – and so much better about the lost place. Thank you for watching and commenting, and Lisa, I love the image of you up with sun, birds a jawing, hair a flying, teeth a gleaming.. I will miss you at Kripalu this summer!

• 5 Jennifer Jun 16, 2010

  Kyeli, first, ouch on surgery! i have had a few in my time so sending healing ease… and happy to have your company while we nest in the not knowing. We are not alone!

• 6 Ellen Jun 16, 2010

  Ahh, Jen — I so wish I could go to Taos with y’all, but not right now, it seems…

  Thank you, thank you, thank you for this wonderful reminder about that awkward place of “I don’t know!” Seems we always want to know!

  It applies to an affair of the heart for me, right now. I’m struggling with writing a “Dear John” letter to an email buddy whom I have come to care for so much. And, I feel it’s not as much fun as it was and he may be losing interest, so I am wanting to cut it off before it hurts me too much. And, yet part of me does NOT want to do that…

  So, I am stuck here in the “I don’t know what to do” place and wanting to do something — anything — to relieve my place of limbo-ness!

  But, thanks to you, I realize that I don’t need to do anything! I can just “not know” and save myself from doing something rash! I can breathe, walk, re-focus on myself and revisit all that I have that is full of joy.

  And allow this to just “be” wherever it happens to be, right now…

  Hugs & blessings – Ellen

• 7 Shirley Ann Jun 16, 2010

  Thank you so much for this Jennifer, for making us aware that ‘I don’t know’ could be an answer for certain periods in our lives. I’ve been beating myself up about not being ‘productive’ and I’m trying to do so many things to make me feel like I am, but I end up going round in circles and feeling more frustrated because nothing is working, and I know nothing is working because I’m not being ‘true’. I want to be productive for the sake of being productive!

  So, thank you, for, in a way, giving me permission to just say, ‘I don’t know’.

• 8 annie Jun 16, 2010

  The lost place is my home for now. This year my life, all of it, has broken down, broken open and I am just reeling. My 23 year marriage is ending, I have no car, I just had surgery, I am working 4 part time jobs and homeschooling my 15 year old son. I don’t know anything. Anything. And yet, I am still here. I have discovered you, Jennifer, and your writings have been such a comfort. Thanks so much. I am ending and beginning and discovering how to not know. I came to my library today to go online hoping I would find an email from you and here was this video on the lost place. My home. Thank you for coming to me where I am.

• 9 Julene Jun 16, 2010

  You spoke to my heart.

• 10 Tweets that mention The Lost Place » Comfort Queen -- Topsy.com Jun 16, 2010

  [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jennifer Louden and Fabeku Fatunmise, robynsart. robynsart said: RT @jenlouden: Grateful! @kyeli: I learned an invaluable lesson from @JenLouden: how to be in the Lost Place. http://bit.ly/djnhSB I ne … [...]

• 11 Karen Jun 16, 2010

  Well how timely… I have no idea what to do with my life next. I have many skills and most of what I have done in the past has revolved around helping other people in some way. I don’t know if I want to do that any more. And I have been stuck and in this, I don’t know place, for two and a half years, well probably more if I’m honest.

  I could give you all the reasons why I’m in this place right now and list all my skills but that would be my way of asking some-one else to make the decision for me and the fear comes out of not having enough in the future. So I keep reminding myself that I have enough now.

  Yesterday I was stuck and a little down. The last thing I felt like doing was going for a walk but I knew that, if I did, I would feel better. So I just focussed on one thing at a time. Once the boys were off to school and I had had a good breakfast I cleaned, cleared and tidied the kitchen. I didn’t want to cook lunch but it had to be done so I put my heart into each part of the preparation and left the curry to bake in the oven. I put on my trainers then picked up my small rucksac…just one thing at a time… In the rucksac (I never usually bother to take a rucksac) I put a bottle of water, a good book, a writing pad & pens, an apple and some nuts in it. As I left I didn’t think I would be gone for very long as my legs felt so heavy but the more I walked the more I wanted to walk. I am lucky to live near a wood and I just meandered taking a slightly longer, slightly different route to normal. When I got to the top I stopped and had a drink, took out my pen and wrote. I have no idea what I wrote but it got stuff out of my head. I saw butterflies and bees…. sunshine on leaves… wild flowers.. and no people…. a little retreat..

  Two hours later, as I walked back to our house I felt light and happy and free. The warm spicey smell of the curry caressed my nostrils as I entered the house. I sat happily with my husband as we both enjoyed the eating of it. After clearing away the dishes I meditated for 1 hour before driving to school to pick up my son and take him to the hospital to have the cast off his arm. About 1 1/2 hours driving. I still felt calm, peaceful and happy. Satisfied even.

  When we arrived home we went straight to the garden to check on our new chickens. Ollie checked for eggs and I was honoured to see the glee in his face as he found our very first egg!

  Nothing special. All very simple. Just an ordinary woman with an ordinary family having an ordinary day. My wifely/motherly kingdom.

  It is enough. I am enough. For now.

  And yes I want to achieve more, learn more, contribute more, have independent earnings but I still don’t know what I want to do… yet…

  Oh, Jen… I wish you were in the UK. I cannot possibly get to you. Is there anyone like you here?

  Thank you for reminding me again… I am already enough…. I don’t have to know…

• 12 Joanna Jun 16, 2010

  This video and email newsletter hit me smack between the eyes. What did I tell a friend not 3 hours ago? “I’m lost. I’m in a forest, and I don’t know where to turn. It feels dark. It is uncomfortable.” (I know there are other ways to see it, but that is not how it *feels* at the moment.)

  I also told her there are three things I’m holding on to:
  1. Meditation and prayer time
  2. Family and friends who give unconditional love and support (not all family and friends can give unconditionally)
  3. The thing I can’t help but do: helping people understand their bodies and love living in them.
  I also know I have to “go deeper.” How? I don’t know…

  What I really came to know today is that these three things are enough. I have made myself crazy the past two months trying to do/be more. So, I’m going to sit with what’s enough for me, be unknowing about going deeper, and listen.

  Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone and I’m not crazy or living below my potential.

• 13 Karly Randolph Pitman Jun 18, 2010

  Dearest Jen,

  Thank you for sharing your truth with me. This spoke to me on so many levels.

  For so long, I thought I had to know how everything would unfold. This kept my life very small, and me in a constant drive to control my uncontrollable humanity – a lesson in fear, futility and exhaustion. I am learning to be okay in groundlessness – in not knowing. And the first place I am learning to be groundless is with myself – to throw away all the labels and preconcieved ideas. To drop my stories and just be. And to sit and wait instead of always driving things forward.

  My natural response is wisdom and kindness – I *do* know what to do – when I turn off the chatter in my head. But turning off the chatter means letting go of all the preconceived notions, trusting, letting go, and being willing to risk, fail, look foolish, ask for help, be honest, be real, and rely on others.

  Yes, who needs God when *I* am in control. Smile. And how much safer to stay in control.

  I suppose I got tired of control. I wanted to live with more juiciness. And I wanted to do so, even if it meant detours, risk, and growth.

  I think about what my yoga teacher says in class – “Sometimes you get lost. That’s okay. You always find your way back.”

  Thank you for sharing your heart.

  XO, Karly

• 14 Detta Jun 21, 2010

  ….Ah gentle Jen ~ how soft you have become, how mindful, thoughtful and open to the whatever. Over the years I have followed you, sometimes alot often leaving swathes of time before I reconnect with your books, site or newsletters. What I am noticing most now is how you have become like a soft cloak of embracing love and I love the lost place ~ love knowing it’s ok to be in the lost place instead of the land of must and have to. I like the sound of myself unfolding ~ the excitement of discovering who the next part of my previously unknown part is ~ thank you Jen for that video it was indeed just want I needed to see and hear x Detta

• 15 Jennifer Jun 21, 2010

  Thank you all for your presence here. We are in our hearts together.

  Karen, maybe i should come to the UK!

• 16 Becca Jun 22, 2010

  Thank you Jen for always speaking from your heart to my heart. My business is expanding beautifully and now I really don’t know! Redesigning the web site, adding new features and products, learning new rules about e-commerce – yikes! Willing to reach out to new people in new ways with love. My daily meditations, journaling, exercise and precious yoga retreats sustain me and keep me from hiding under the bed. Many blessings to you with your Kripalu and Taos retreats. xo Becca

• 17 Mckinley Gapinski Sep 28, 2011

  “Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.” ~ George Bernard Shaw