I was in the Vancouver Art Gallery recently. A piece of art by Brian Jungen captivated me because it utterly encapsulated the sense of artist agency (not sure what you mean by “agency.” Freedom? Right of ownership? Creative expression?)
The sculpture, a life-sized model of a Northern Right whale, hung from the ceiling, just like you’d see in a natural history museum.
No big deal, right?
Then I saw the whale was made of white plastic lawn chairs.
The kind of cheap white plastic chair you see everywhere for $5, or abandoned at the side of the highway after they’ve blown out of the back of someone’s pickup truck.
Pow! I was off on an imaginative journey, the lines between the natural world and an object that screamed “mass-produced throw-away culture” blurring and the affect tickling my brain and body.
“How did he think of that?” I asked myself. And, even more exciting, “How did he give himself permission to make it after he thought of it?”
We Interrupt this Blog Post to Interject the Following:
Do Not Tune out if You Are Not an Official Artist. This Applies to You, Too!
Artistic agency is a terribly dry term but unpack its juicy meaning with me because it points to the doorway you must venture through to know and then express your “you.”
Another word for artistic agency is PERMISSION:
- Permission to have space, and time to have thoughts, no matter how odd they may seem.
- Permission to give them room to grow rather than pulling them out by the roots because they aren’t pretty or because someone else has already said it or because you don’t know how what you’re thinking will be received.
- Permission to have an inner life that doesn’t look like Martha Stewart’s craft room with everything in a tidy, labeled cupboard.
But “permission” can be a linguistically dangerous word – because it suggests that it must come from outside you.
- “My mom gave me permission to sleep over.”
- “My boss said I had permission to attend the conference.”
- “My boyfriend/girlfriend/partner said it was alright.” (I threw that last one in to piss you off.)
Blech!
When you wait for permission from outside to know and express your “you,” you’ll be waiting forever. Permission has to come from within. Yes, that’s a cliché – and so frustrating! How DO you give yourself permission?
I want to be clear that giving yourself permission is NOT the same as:
- having to make something big or profitable or beautiful out of your “you”
- setting unattainable conditions of satisfaction that are just another way to punish yourself
- or even having to share what “you” you discover.
It’s only about giving self-permission to know yourself – warts, shadows, obsessions, fantasies, dreams, desires and glories, and more.
It’s about being curious about yourself and honoring what you find inside, trusting – even for a moment – it is worth exploring and expressing.
It might not be of interest to anyone else but until you explore and express it, you will never know.
And you may not care if it ever is (another topic for discussion).
Liking this series? Don’t miss
Part One: Static Free Authenticity
Part Two: Tuning into Your Essence
11 responses so far ↓
1 lynn @ human, being Jan 6, 2010
Self-permission is such a tough idea for me because it means doing things because they make me happy, not because they make other people like me, and taking the risk that doing what makes me happy will cause people to not like me.
Ugh.
2 Hiro Boga Jan 6, 2010
Permission is one of those P words that seems so innocuous, and yet has such power. Like Play. And Pleasure. And Puh-puh-pa-ri-dit-peep!
These P words bring me home to my self. They let me explore my world–inner and outer–without judgment, itineraries or plans. Free-wheeling words, improvisational words. Where the boundary of my being and the boundary of the world meet, dance, and create something entirely new together.
Thanks so much for your wisdom, Jen, and for permission in all its forms!
3 Tweets that mention The Signal-Magnifying Power of Permission » Comfort Queen -- Topsy.com Jan 6, 2010
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jennifer Louden, HiroBoga. HiroBoga said: Brilliant post–and permission to play, create, explore–from @JenLouden: The Signal-Magnifying Power of Permission http://bit.ly/8uBJG2 [...]
4 chris zydel Jan 6, 2010
I love this! It’s such a great reminder that the permission we are most hungry for is that which comes from within us.
To remember that those wacky ideas and wild impulses come from the deepest part of who we are.
And that spirit is always saying “Yes, honey, it really IS OK to do exactly whatever you want. ”
Thanks again, Jen, for all the space you create and the permission you embody for us to be ourselves!!
5 marsha shenk Jan 6, 2010
I would greatly prefer another word – a word that does not imply external power. How about enjoying curiosity?
6 Liz Jan 6, 2010
You’re so right that the word, “permission” has collected a lot of interesting connotations. For me, it conjures up the piece of paper that a parent had to sign before we were allowed on a school field trip. As a coach, I’ve had fun making permission slips for my clients to do various things… I’ve even made one for myself signed by ‘the Universe.’
7 sherri Jan 6, 2010
These are the words that hit me upside the head (in a good way) today:
“It (what I find inside and want to express) might not be of interest to anyone else but until I explore and express it, I will never know.”
The assumption i make that causes me to spin endlessly is that i can’t express it UNTIL I believe it’s worthy of other’s interest. Others rarely get a shot at having an opinion on my creative stuff –I’ve been pulling it back before they get to vote. Enough of that happy crap!
Thanks for serving this up in a way I could grasp it: )
8 uberVU - social comments Jan 6, 2010
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9 Shawna R. B. Atteberry Jan 6, 2010
Giving myself permission is a huge power for me when I choose to do it. I’ll never forget the first time a couple of years ago when I wanted to leave ordained ministry and my former denomination. I was waiting for something to happen to give me an excuse to pack it in and walk away. I was making the bed on a Sunday morning wishing I didn’t have to go along with this charade, when it hit me: why did I have to wait for a reason to leave? I wanted to leave; I knew I wasn’t where I was supposed to be. I could make the choice. And I did. It was one of the most freeing and empowering things I have ever done. Looking back I now realize it was the first time I claimed my sovereignty.
Now I need to do the same thing for my writing. I know what I’m supposed to be writing and creating, and I need to do that, and give myself permission to do it, instead of waiting for someone else to give me permission and or wait until I think someone else wants to read it. It’s time to make the choice to write what I want to write and not worry about if anyone is ever going to read it.
10 Shawna R. B. Atteberry Jan 6, 2010
Today I am giving myself permission to work in the bedroom, just because I want to work in bed, damnit!
11 Tuning into Your Essence » Comfort Queen Jan 8, 2010
[...] Part three in this series: The Signal Raising Power of Permission [...]