If you have followed my newsletter or blog for any length of time, you know I suffer from the Bright Shiny Object syndrome – otherwise known as “love of the new.”
As with most personality / soul things in life, this is both a gift – I love change! I love new ideas! – and an area to grow.
For me, that means learning to go deeper, focusing, staying with one thing even when my ego whines, “But I don’t want to anymore. I want to do something new.”
Also learning to be present and find the newness in on-going projects – while also learning to stop hiding behind busyness or familiar ways of creating that are safe but no longer serve me.
At the Comfort Cafe yesterday, our Wisdomcast guest was the wonderful Cheryl Richardson and I asked her about bright shiny objects.
Listen in on her answer (the volume is low -oh technology!)
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Here is what I learned
I may have some unmet needs.
I did not know this.
This feels very intriguing to me.
What could these needs be?
Maybe the need for more play and lightness and new experiences.
Maybe the need for a business plan so I can rest in that knowledge I’m being a good steward of my work.
Maybe the need to value my own contributions and ideas and experience more? (ding, ding, ding!)
Maybe the need for unplugged time away from home to create – like creating a Writer’s Retreat for myself?
Maybe the need for more collaboration in real time with wonderful soulful creative people?
I think there are more, even deeper need. I’ll be reflecting on this in meditation!
Thank you Cheryl for this insight.
How about you? What unmet needs might be fueling your bright shiny object syndrome?
Or perhaps, for you, it’s more about saying yes to things and people when you want to shout no?
What, if anything, tugs at your heart when you think “unmet needs?”
Love to all our fragile hearts!
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16 responses so far ↓
1 Ms. Smart Nov 19, 2009
I think you might be part crow. you know all that diving for the shiny. Relating here.
I heard, someone said, it was posted on her blog… that you wanted retreat stories. Here ya go:
Retreat, hmmm?!?!
I think I just go to sleep, ambient brain wave music on or meditation CD, black velvet eye pillow, too many covers and drift off. My way to unload, escape, clear the slate.
When I lived in Michigan, I would drive downtown and park real close to the edge of the Detroit River. I had a spot at the base of the Ambassador Bridge. I would sit in my car, heat on, and draw and write. The water was hypnotic, especially in winter, big greenish floating chunks of ice gently crashing into each others as the river moved through the city and ran thoughts through my head. Love it! It was so big city and natural at the same time, the perfect combo for me.
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3 Ingrid Nov 19, 2009
Oh my goodness, Dear Jennifer, all of your unmet needs echoed and rang and sang in my own heart. These are all beautiful and useful things to pay attention to. Joy to you, Ingrid
4 Alexia Nov 19, 2009
We must be related. Because I’m also drawn by teh shiny.
And after reading your post I realize that my unmet need is challenge.
My main state up ’till recently has been boredom – mainly because of un-changing, un-interesting and most definitely un-challenging work.
I’ve been attempting to change this & as a result seeing I’m less (although not completely immune) drawn to shiny.
Thanks
5 uberVU - social comments Nov 19, 2009
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6 Hiro Boga Nov 19, 2009
Once I moved to the home I live in now, my need for shiny objects diminished until it’s almost disappeared.
It surprised me–the deep inner settledness that I’ve felt ever since I found my “right place”.
Being highly sensitive, what I needed was seclusion, beauty, the sea, close connection to nature. Now that I have these, my craving for shiny objects emerges rarely. When it does, it’s generally because I need connection with others, or a fresh engagement with ideas.
A walk with a good friend, or a visit to my neighborhood bookstore will fill the need.
Sometimes there’s an inner urging from my soul to go to a particular retreat…maybe your writers’ retreat will be next year’s bright shiny…!
7 Fabeku Nov 19, 2009
I love these questions, and the space they open into.
I need to spend less time on email, and more time drumming.
Less time on the computer, and more time sitting outside on the porch, listening to the rain or in the studio recording.
Less pushing myself to do moremoremore, and more permission to do less.
And a trip to the ocean…. a definite must-do-soon!
8 Sarah Nov 19, 2009
I know I sometimes say yes when I want to say no because I want approval or because I feel like my sources of emotional support are at risk if I don’t do what other people want or expect. Yikes! What would it take for me to feel like I could meet my own needs in that way?
9 Sarah Bush Nov 19, 2009
Wow.
Okay, so that was huge. I am constantly seeking the new–and your words about wanting to start “learning to be present and find the newness in on-going projects”
were a big a-ha for me.
I’m so intrigued by the idea that the seeking newness is wanting to meet an unmet need–it rings true, even though I’m still not sure what those are, but when that pull to the new happens to me next, I’ll be aware in a much different way–and curious to find out what information is there for me. Thanks for a great post!
10 Briana Nov 19, 2009
I love this, because I sometimes approach my own Bright Shiny Object Syndrome from a “you should just be happy with what you have” place. And even just typing that opens up space because it’s the opposite of any advice I would ever give to someone else, blech. So thanks for the new question to ask myself, I’ll definitely be mulling it over. I know one of my needs is to relish the changes I do make, make them more boldly and even impulsively. Which is weird, because I can see how the “you should just be grateful now” thing is causing all of the hesitation.
I want to keep choosing things that feel like settling in, never things that feel like settling.
11 Nicole Nov 19, 2009
Ok, I’m going to play devil’s advocate for a moment. What if there is no “syndrome” at all. What if your love of “the new” is just you–wonderful you. I’m reading Barbara Sher’s newest book called Refuse to Choose where she explains that some people are “scanners” rather than “divers”. Read a complete description of a scanner here: http://www.getmotivation.com/articlelib/articles/barbara_sher_scanner.html. I wrote a more extensive explanation in my last blog post, if you want to read more there too. But basically, the idea is that some people are literally designed to be interested in and experience many different things in life–not necessarily become an expert in one or two things. And that’s ok. These people used to be lovingly refered to as “Renaissance People” but are now regarded by many in our culture as “flakey.” Just thought I’d throw it out there for stimulation!
12 Lydia, Clueless Crafter Nov 20, 2009
I’m addicted to my bright shiny new object called my marriage. The funny thing about having something shiny is that it makes you think that you don’t need to care for it, polish it up, move it to new places so it opens up new ways of being looked at and related to.
I think my marriage is bright and shiny, but needs lots of tlc to keep it so.
That takes a lot of work!
13 Laney Nov 21, 2009
I understand the unmet needs part of it for sure. What I don’t get is the shiny, new aspect. Maybe because I haven’t experienced anything like this in a while or I’m just missing the point. Will give this more thought… any suggestions would be great.
14 Andrew Lightheart @alightheart Nov 22, 2009
@Nicole – WOW – I’m not flaky, I’m *renaissance*! Nice…
I’ve been thinking about this just today (well, not just today).
2 needs:
One – lightness and accepting that this is a part of my character (at the moment).
Two – a deep-seated longing for peace and happiness. Huh. Bit more to see there.
Thanks for the thought-food.
15 Eight Women Dream Nov 23, 2009
I hope your need is to also be mentioned around the web because I named you one of The Top 48 Most Inspirational and Motivational Websites on the Internet on our dream blog.
We love what you do -
Catherine
16 Cindy L Nov 25, 2009
This hit home with me this week, on so many levels. I just spent the day shopping at the mall with my son yesterday. I hadn’t been to a mall in a while, and was amazed at how quickly I was instantly drawn to new things I didn’t need and never knew I wanted. I was right back in that place where, when I was I a child, my mom would buy new clothes for me, and indulge me. Not that she was over the top about it, but I definitely got the “shopping as reward” thing. And there I was yesterday with my own grown son, tempted to do the same. I realized how dangerous it is to shop sometimes.