Welcome if this is day two of your retreat or day one or you are simply passing by, gathering ideas for your next retreat or wondering if you might still jump in to this one (the answer is yes!)
Part of the power of retreat is in doing things differently. This comment from Suzane after the first session yesterday – Getting Centered and Finding the Flow of the Retreat with Me – captures so well how simple shifting our awareness is — and how illuminating.
What really resonated with me with in the first session is finding the way my body moves in retreat space. I was so struck by throwing my arms and legs out and using my space in confidence and how I don’t do that in ordinary time. I seem to apologize for the space that I take in this world. Wow! Big insight and runs very deep for me. So, I had to journal some and have lots of questions for myself — live with the questions, right? Hard for me. I want answers and I want them yesterday!”
Of course you want answers now, Suzane, who doesn’t? What I have found, much to my ever-loving chagrin, is wanting answers is fine, it is insisting I get them that can keep me stuck.
Answers can feel like a safe place to rest yet so easily turn into a cul de sac of fear and pleasing others.
The retreat container (I always wish I could come up a better word because it sounds like friggin’ Tupperware) creates a safe, comfortable place for us to be with our yearning and itch to know. We don’t have to push away the need to know nor collapse into the false security of future projections.
Retreating gives us a place to become more familiar and comfortable with uncertainty.
Today at the Virtual Retreat
We will be supporting you to explore purpose, breaking free from emotional eating, and relaxation… because, for so many of us, finding calm, confidence and contentment are linked to knowing we are living with purpose, dissolving shadow comforts that block our energy and knowing how to calm our body and mind.
Our first Mini-Retreat of the Day
How To Create Your Life Purpose
Saturday, 1/17 at 8am – 9 am Pacific / 11 am – 12 pm Eastern
with my dear friend and my wise excellent amazing coach Laura Berman Fortgang 
Stop worrying about the expectations of others and decide what your true life’s purpose should be by taking an active role in its creation. Bestselling author Laura Berman Fortgang will walk you through how to connect with the “real you” and develop the confidence and courage to live a life that fulfills and exhilarates you.
So join us and if you cannot, the recording will be up within an hour or so in the members area. Check back here for more updates as the day unfolds!
======================== 1 PM (PST) UPDATE =======================
I am eating up your comments and how you are supporting each other! Join the conversation in the comment section.
Laura’s audio is up and chock full of powerful questions to ask yourself on retreat to help you discover – or rediscover – your purpose.
Geneen’s call is up and available for download, too!
“Are there ways I am willing to cherish myself other than food? “Do I feel I am worth cherishing? Am I willing to take the time to do it?”
One of the many gems I will take from Geneen’s very wide and nourishing mini-retreat.
There are a number of common themes emerging from all the speakers– as you listen, notice what the themes are for you — perhaps share your insights in the comment section!
We are getting a master class in being comfortable in the deepest richest sense of the word.
Do visit the membership area to send your questions to the speakers!
======================== 6:30 PM (PST) UPDATE =======================
The right-on galvanizing get-your-feet- under you conversation with Barbara Sher will be posted to the members area – holy smokes, what a wonderful day!
Thank you all!
22 responses so far ↓
1 Sarah Jan 17, 2009
Morning Jen and everyone! I’m SO enjoying the retreat! I used Jen’s centering exercise to ground myself and refresh twice yesterday.
And, I loved what Steve Chandler had to say. But, I do have a question about that. When you’re doing such wonderful creating and such wonderful service for people, how does the charging of money fit in. Is there a way to make that feel comfortable and good? One fear I find myself is that it will be hard to get paid, especially by people I know, like friends or acquaintances, where you don’t have a contract and you’re providing a service (I’m a writer). I recognize that I’m resorting to those pleasing behaviors, but I’m stuck on trying to figure out how to handle that piece, and feel like I’m offering a service.
Haven’t had the opportunity to listen to Havi yet (I treated myself to a genuine Friday night last night! Now I have toes that remind me of lush tropical flowers … they’re this lovely shimmery sunset apricot, with little flashes of flamingo feathers. Felt SO good!
This weekend, I’m letting go of the pattern of overwork with no breaks. I’m still doing little jobs. But, I’m playing with how to mix retreat with life. This is interesting to open the door to comfort in such a straightforward way.
I do have a few things that require my attention this weekend, or that I’m choosing to work on. But, I’m going to gift myself with a SATURDAY!!! Sharpen the saw, so to speak.
Thanks! I look forward to more inspiration and comfort … and if anyone had any thoughts on the Steve question, would love to hear them.
Best, Sarah
2 Sarah Jan 17, 2009
Just occurred (as I read your post) that my how to feel comfortable with the money part of this part of my business could be something to noodle and journal on. Why do I assume it will be hard to get paid? Or that someone wouldn’t pay once I provided the service. What method of handling this piece is comfortable for me? Are there other people I can look to for examples? And, it is a service to deal with someone who makes it easy.
I do know that there are people in my family who struggle with money, and they will ask a favor, and then not reimburse you, etc. My solution has been to either not do them favors that involve me spending money on their behalf, or to be okay with them not paying me back. Which doesn’t feel okay in this case.
I don’t think the answer is to cut myself off from providing service to family and friends … I simply need to consider the benefits and gifts and my own clarity on this. And, perhaps look to the root of this … clearly a trust issue, and a bit of pleasing …
Hmmmm …
3 Carol M Jan 17, 2009
I’m putting the grocery trip, laundry, cleaning and “shoulds” on the back burner for a bit and will give myself permission to *be* and listen…
Out beyond the ideas of right-doing or wrong-doing there is a field- I’ll meet you there
- Rumi
4 Jenn Givler Jan 17, 2009
I just listened to the call with Havi – and I loved that exercise she did with the finger points.
For me, fear feels like a chemical that exists in the very fibers of my being – and it paralyzes me.
When I did that exercise, and we pulled our fingers away, I got a visual of that chemical being pulled out of my body – and I actually feel lighter. That was amazing.
I cannot wait for today!!
Jenn Givler’s last blog post..Rearranging your business… the right way.
5 Jennifer Jan 17, 2009
Sarah – I adore that you are going to work with the question about money as part of your retreat. I will also forward your question and email to Steve.
Jenn, yes on getting fear removed – wow!
Carol M – out beyond right and wrong doing, I think there is a learning field, like a play field, that’s where i am today!
6 Sharon K. Moritz Jan 17, 2009
I too loved holding the finger pressure points with Havi. I felt so relaxed and calm during and even as I pulled my fingers away and yes, they did feel almost magnetized.
I also liked having the destinction made between shadow comforts and actually sifting through your ideas to gain insights .
It is so nice to give myself permission to be on retreat. I took a long hot bubble bath last night and it was very enjoyable.
This morning my husband has prepared me home made waffles with real maple syrup ( my friend makes it from her own trees) and sausages and O.J for breakfast . It was delicious.
It won’t be long now and I will be able to listen to Laura and find out how to create my life’s purpose.
Sharon
7 Anne Kaplan Jan 17, 2009
Deeply struck by LBF’s point that (paraphrasing) life purpose may not become clear, until after you’ve been thru the very (healing) process it’s your purpose to share/teach.
Relieves a whole layer of shame/failure for not having yet come forward with my work.
It is only now that I am ready to do so.
8 Diedra Jan 17, 2009
Eveything Laura said resonated so clearly within me this morning!
It makes me sigh with relief to realize that my purpose doesn’t have to be huge. That simple statement, it doesn’t have to be huge, is like having boulders lifted off my heart and soul.
This is the key to what was missing in where/how to proceed with my life. It instantly showed me that I already have it within me. I am living my purpose already.
I’ve just been downplaying what I give to the world because it wasn’t big, or fancy, or something that would make me a millionare.
Diedra’s last blog post..Sacred Sunday ~Memorial Day~
9 Sally Jan 17, 2009
This morning, I woke up sneezing. My body said, stay home, stay in bed, and RETREAT.
So, I listened. I canceled all my “I should really do X” plans for the day. It’s now 11:06 a.m., and I am still in my jammies, with the cat purring at my side, having just gotten off the call with Laura and Jen.
That call alone was more than worth the cost of the entire retreat. Thank you so much!
And Jen, this virtual retreat was a BRILLIANT idea, and I hope you have many, many more of them.
Sally
10 Jennifer Jan 17, 2009
Oh good Sally, stay home and retreat!!! Yes, we will do lots omore including one day Virtual Retreats which will be open to everybody and free as part of the Comfort Cafe and Life Spa http://www.comfortretreats.com/cafe.html – you can still get the first month for a 1$
Anne and Deidra, so so with you and the sense of relief and comfort~!
11 Rachel Jan 17, 2009
OMG, this is awesome, Jennifer. My “mini-retreating” began tonight, with Laura’s call, and what a start! Huge insights gained. Something I had to share that I got out of this call with Laura was a renewed retrospective perspective (can I say that?) on an icky, uncomfortable writing project I almost got myself into.
I was sworn to secrecy over it, but what I can say is that a small publisher called me up and offered me, essentially, a part-time job writing novels. I have not yet published a novel, only short stories and tons of non-fiction, and so, as an aspiring fiction writer, my eyes lit up at the offer! Here was someone I know from another writing sphere who had enough trust and belief in me to offer me such a job. And just like that, I’d be a published novelist! Several novels per year, money for it of course, and so on.
There were, though, these “little details” about the work that rubbed me the wrong way, but in the beginning, I kept pushing them aside, making excuses. I even introduced the idea to a friend by saying, “I know you are going to say I’m crazy, but hear me out on this awesome project I was offered.” Then I explained the project, along with all these explanations and excuses for why it was ok to do something I said I would never do. Forget about the fact that I had said over and over I would never write for this particular publisher, forget about the fact that I said I would never write censored religious fiction, nor ever read it. Forget about the fact that I would have to write it under a penname, because if people who read these stories knew about my “real” writing, they would have thrown a crazy fit. Forget about the fact that I would have to write the stories they asked me to write, their plots, all ignoring the things that *I* try to get through with my fiction and regular writing. Forget about the fact that my signing the contract, I was agreeing to be highly censored, being pushed into a place where I would have to write almost-perfect characters, etc. All these things I hate and things all my personal writing goes against.
A week or two went by, and slowly, I started to feel all those things I was ignoring in the pit of my heart, like this HUGE weight. But why? Here was my dream, being HANDED over to me on a platter, right? What was I so upset about?
I turned that project down, before signing the contract (and pissed off my connection at this publisher really bad…) But I never really understood UNTIL after this phone call WHY I had said yes, and then WHY it hurt so bad later what I had to say no thanks.
I had said yes, because I was only thinking of the goal, the “what”. I would have been a real, published novelist. I would be making good income by writing fiction! How many people can get to do that? But the “what” *is not* what my purpose is about!
My writing has always been about the hard things, the topics no one likes to think about, the types of stories that make you think or inspire people. I had just had a short story published that actually went totally contrary to the novels I would have been writing! The project, while it would have given me the title I wanted, was not my life purpose at all, and would have take precious time away from writing what I *am* born to write.
Anyway, sorry for going on and on… but I had to share that. Thank you, Laura, and THANK YOU, Jennifer! (Oh, and you made me cry at the end of the call. I have a feeling I will be crying a lot this weekend. My therapist will love you for that!)
12 Susan H. Jan 17, 2009
Wow, Wow, Wow. Laura and Jen, thank you so much. My goal was to find out who I am…and knowing my purpose is the key. Through your sharing and discussion this morning I absolutely know, without a shadow of a doubt, what my purpose is.
Preparation for this started in childhood and has lasted my whole adult life. Now I am going to live it out in its fullest. No time to waste.
Thank you so much for helping me see what is in store for me and I am so excited.
13 Karen G. Jan 17, 2009
Thank you so much Jen and Geneen.
My eyes are filled with tears my heart soft.
Yesterday, I decided to release myself from compulsive eating during the retreat.
Asking myself-”What to I really want” has been very helpful. I did however,note resistance,at times,to even asking myself The Question!!
This talk hit the nail on the head!
I know I will be re- visiting it again & again.
Thank you for keeping it Big!
T his is an area where for far too long there has been a tendency to go for quick pat answers…5 Proven Ways to Lose 10 lbs, by ….
Trivial.
Geneen& you Jen, showed the answers are as big as our lives, our hearts, our souls.
14 Jenn Givler Jan 17, 2009
Rachel – thank you so much for sharing your story… I didn’t mind you going on at all
In fact – you sharing your story was a reminder that I need to relax into my life and my purpose like Laura said.
I am just speechless after the call with Laura. I resonated with everything she said.
I’m in a place where I’m pretty sure what my purpose is, but it’s a matter of being able to articulate it. And because of the call, I’m just in this place of reflecting on the questions Laura gave us.
I’ve been journaling around them off and on for the last couple of hours. And I found myself stressing about how to articulate it, and how to make it tangible.
Then I came here and read your story Rachel and it reminded me to just Chill already – I know what it is – do I REALLY need to articulate it right this second?!? LOL! Just live it… the tangibility (is that a word?!?) will come!
Jenn Givler’s last blog post..Rearranging your business… the right way.
15 carolyn Jan 17, 2009
Hello re-treaters! This has been a very deep sort of vision – or re-vision quest for me, and though not physically present with y’all, I feel your presence strongly supporting me.
I was moved to tears after Laura’s talk, with an internal shout of YES YES YES…and by the time Geneen was finished I stayed put and had a nice cry!!! The YES booming louder.
And if I tell you that the bird came back – or a sister starling – you won’t believe me, or maybe you will because possibly you too are in this weird transformative space. My feathered friend got stuck in the furnace pipe … I found out by the stench of – gag – burnt feather …hubbie let it out while I listened to Laura & Jen. VERY SHIVA-esque, don’t ya’ think?
Journaling about this whole escapade takes me even deeper.
Love and hugs to all of you. Thanks for being in my life.
carolyn’s last blog post..Do You Believe in Prayer?
16 Anne Jan 17, 2009
I feel very floatey, buoyed up by the words telling me to listen to myself, ask myself questions, be gentle gentle gentle.
17 Kerri Jan 17, 2009
Hi Jen, I have to wait til they are up to down load…when will this am’s be up. So excited…can’t wait to listen to the next retreat, they are marvelous, so many little jewels of wisedom.
Thank you again.
18 Julie Jordan Scott Jan 17, 2009
Jen and All -
As I listened to the participants on the 2 PM call I felt compelled to share with you a quote from Mary Oliver that has been keeping me company ever since I read it a couple days ago.
In her book “Winter Hours”, Mary Oliver wrote: “In this universe we are given two gifts: the ability to love and the ability to ask questions. Which are, at the same time, the fires that warm us and the fires that scorch us.”
The meaning we give scorching is “ouch, bad!”…. (I am writing around this as a part of the retreat, actually, it is what I was working on coming into the 2 pm call, not knowing it would syncronistically appear again.)
It might smart-ouch momentarily, yes… but smart-ouch is just another way for us to “get it”….
Another poet-quote that fits is this one from Adrienne Rich: “It’s exhilarating to be alive in a time of awakening consciousness; it can also be confusing, disorienting, and painful.”
I have discovered time and time again that when I rise up and meet the discomfort in a welcoming way, it becomes my ally… perhaps one of my my most potent allys, actually.
Thanks for this retreat container, Jen. It is almost time for me to begin my theatre-prep once again. Opening was fantastic last night… I am so glad I didn’t make a story about the timing of retreat “being wrong” and chose both, instead.
19 Gayatri Jan 17, 2009
So is it possible to actually be wowed, have a sense of awe, wonder and enjoyment in this retreat… and be grumpy, on edge and uncomfortable too? Yup. I am. I am sitting with the discomfort because I know that it my teacher. It is part of the unexpected gift of this retreat. Why send it away, pretend it’s not there, and expect that “wonderful retreat” has to look a certain way. I get grumpy when something is about to shift, change, and emerge. I am sitting with this, because this feeling place is my teacher right now. I am not asking why, I am just here. And this grumpy discomfort is wonderful (really I mean it).
20 Carol M Jan 17, 2009
Listened to the “How to create your life purpose”… did pretty good on the first three “What” questions.. the fourth I will have to marinade on. Came back from my studio to find the cutest little 2 year old movin and shakin her whole body to music… “C’mon Gee-ma… *dance*” Well, how could I resist?! So I *did*! After our little dance-fest, she went off with her daddy for a play-date and I became an adult and went to the grocery store where I saw “Horton hears a Who” book… heheh my “Who-ness” Then to the gym for a great workout… feeling my body, my strength! Finished making a favorite comfort dinner while listening to the Wild Wacky relaxation… and I noticed that the yummy aroma was YUMMMY… the stiring, the chopping… well… everything is more in focus, more alive… more *there*… just what I need right now. Thank you all!
21 Joy Weese Moll Jan 17, 2009
Gayatri, thanks for talking about grumpiness right alongside the wonder and enjoyment. I’m glad I’m not the only one! And thanks, Jen, for writing “Obstacle Two: Suddenly I Don’t Want to Retreat” in the How to Create Your Own Virtual Retreat e-book.
I have tried and failed to create retreats for myself in the past and I now see the pattern. One tiny little disappointment that takes me out of the retreat archetype and I’m gone, giving up on the retreat that I planned for myself. Now, that I see it’s a pattern, I’ll be much better at creating and sustaining retreats in the future.
Joy Weese Moll’s last blog post..Coldest day in a decade
22 Kate Jan 17, 2009
Just finished listening to Laura Berman Fortgang – just amazing, and so what I need right now. Thank you!
Kate’s last blog post..The Dance