A sometimes Wednesday happening in which I dissolve posting flummoxia by posting a a jambalaya, a comfort basket, a wiry fankle (a Scottish word that means a tangle or a state of confusion), a bit of this and tad of that.
Wiry Fankle #1
Monday is Freedom From Self-Improvement Week here . Free goodies and giveaways and inspiring audios and silly coupons to help you celebrate your innate goodness.
It’s about acknowledging you don’t have to do anything to be worthy.
Not only that, but you can make mistakes and yes, you are still totally lovable.
It’s a shot across the bow of everyone who markets to our fear that we aren’t good enough.
It’s a bath of relief from endless shoulds, have tos, and get somewheres.
It’s a breath of self-mercy.
Starts Monday. Right here.Tell the world!
Wiry Fankle #2
I adore Jill Sobule. Saw her at the Tractor Trailer (Seattle bar) a few weeks back and her erudite acerbic wit lit me up. Her website is a blast and my favorite cuts off her new album are A Good Life and Nothing to Prove. She raised the money for the album from fans and some even sing on the album (no, not me).
Wiry Fankle #3 – Warning Rant Ahead
Recently, I became lightly interested in taking a marketing course offered by an Internet marketing gal. I sent her a private email, asking several tender questions.
I didn’t hear anything back. The program was about to start. I shrugged it off and went on vacation.
I came home to an email from her, but for the life of me, I couldn’t tell if she had answered me personally or publicly. Had she turned my private questions into a public sales letter?
Oh no, nobody would do something that slimy.
Turned out she had. She did remove my name and website but you know what, still very bad form.
Not only did she not answer my concerns, she made them sound rather pathetic, sort of “I was where you are until I did what I will tell you how to do, all for the low, low price of $998.”
It was really hard not to send her a blustering email filled with “Do you know how many books I’ve sold, do you know what I’ve done, who I’ve spoken in front of, who I’ve coached, etc.”
I didn’t. I prayed. I breathed. I bitched at Bob.
But you know what’s sad? When people like me want to be able to tell people like you what I’m doing in a clear, honest way, and people like her make us feel there is no way to do that.
Being self-employed is hard.
I know, I’ve been doing it for 26 years.
Thank God for Mark Silver and Molly Gordon and Pam Slim.
These people are authentic; some other people only know how to use that word as marketing copy.
Rant over.
12 responses so far ↓
1 Mahala Mazerov Sep 2, 2009
Such a gentle rant for something that must have felt like getting hit with a stun gun. I’m so sorry this woman (who probably preaches relationship as part of a marketing strategy) had no concept of appropriateness and you’re the one who felt the sting.
Aside from the bitching at Bob
It sounds like you handled everything well.
… innate goodness. One of my favorite word combinations.
2 Jennifer Sep 3, 2009
Thank you dear! I am a gentler ranter, although i always think I am more fierce.
3 Havi Brooks (and duck) Sep 4, 2009
I’m sorry for your hard! Ugh. Hardnesses!
And I love the phrase “a breath of self-mercy”. Mmmm, just what the doctor ordered.
Kiss to you!
4 Victoria Sep 7, 2009
Your approach is the way of the future, I am certain. Aren’t you proud to be blazing such a trail? Of authenticity and being present and lightening up on ourselves? Thank you.
5 Marsha Sep 7, 2009
Jen-
Love your “under the bed” video; it is a perfect visual to illustrate your current topic of freedom from self-help.
Thanks for the humorous example.
Marsha
6 Cynthia Sebastian Sep 7, 2009
I appreciate the simple way of bringing us all home. Ahhh, home. I would write more but I also want to see how it feels to go under my bed!
Thanks for all you do, so well,
Cyn
7 Harriet Tubman Wright Sep 7, 2009
Hi Jennifer,
Happy Day Off! I’ve been following your newsletter for awhile now and appluad your emphasis on self-care and taking care of ourselves. I especially like your video from under the bed, emphasizing that we really are OK, just as we are. This is a point we can’t hear often enough in a society that is fixated on fixing, figuring out, problem-solving and in general lokking for what’s wrong. I like giving thanks for what’s right, good and perfectly OK with me.
peace,
harriet
8 Connie Sep 7, 2009
I just signed on to your Freedom From Self Improvement. The video of you under the bed stating we are okay I finally have acknowleged this about me and my saying now is “It is what it is” and move forward. Looking to more of comfort insight.
Connie
9 Lupe B Sep 7, 2009
I find being accepting with who I am and where I am is not as hard as it use to be. I have grown from the inside out to be more of who I always thought I would like to be. I AM HAPPY WITH ME.
10 Debra Sep 7, 2009
What a relief it will be to get off the “self improvement” train. I suppose I could make a gigantic collage out of the self improvement books that are bursting out of my bookshelf. Each of the books seemed like a good idea at the time. This does feel like a breath of fresh air! I am certainly looking forward to the rest of September!
11 Karly Pitman Sep 7, 2009
Thank you for the inspiration, Jen. I actually took 3 boxes of self-help books to the thrift store this past weekend, to donate them for good. I’m reading novels and inspirational literature now instead. How wonderful to know that I’m okay just as I am. I love your gentle reminders.
12 melanie miller Sep 7, 2009
Dear Jen…
Recenty, a friend of mine invited Tony D’Souza to our “spiritual salon” of sorts ~ he is a Jesuit priest from India, who was
mentored by, and a friend of
Anthony Demello.
He would appreciate our special week of being okay just as we are ~
we are using his new book, meditations, and
video to anchor in exactly that.
When he joined us, I told him
I use about seventeen practices as ways to remind myself and asked if he thinks
there is a “tipping point”
after which, “second consciousness” or the “sacred response” replaces automatic conditioned thinking and acting.
Know what he replied…?
Stop them immediately!
Showing mercy for one’s self ~ what a relief!
xoxo and blessings…melanie